Resolution Get Married has been Postponed

In the past 4 months a lot has been revealed. My boyfriend and I have had to postpone our wedding plans by a year or two (or more). Why? Because he isn't prepared for the real world. I knew he had some learning and growing to do but I had no idea how much. I thought this was just a financial situation but turns out the reasons for him being in that situation are the real problem. His family has encouraged him to remain a boy. They have sheltered him from reality. This has caused him to have an idealized perception of the world, everything from working to relationships. He won't be ready for marriage until reality has thoroughly sunken in and he's standing on his own two feet as a man.

 On the bright side, he finally has a job and is working towards becoming a history teacher. At least he has sucked up his pride to where he realized he needed to just get a job (not some fantastic profession in which he uses his degree and gets paid exceptionally well to do so). He has also realized that he won't magically become a history professor and that his college filled him with falsehoods that he is now recovering from. This is why he is working towards his certification as a K-12 history teacher.

 What about me? I have a better paying writing job that I'm enjoying and my health is slowly but steadily improving. Things are going well on my end, but I've realized that I'm not ready for marriage. However, it's only in the sense that I'm not ready to be married to my boyfriend. I can't marry someone who isn't a capable, independant person. I would end up taking on more than my fair share of responsibilities. I love him and I see his potential, but that isn't reason enough to commit my life to him. So I shall wait and see how he grows. When I witness that potential being fulfilled, then I will know it is time to get married.

 Original Resolution:

Get Married in 2007

My boyfriend and I both want to get married this year 2007 but it's not so easy now-a-days. He's 25 and has a bachelor's degree in history but he still lives at home and drives his mother's car. I'm 21 (almost 22) and I also live at home. I'm a freelance writer making little money and currently... well, he's trying to figure out what can be done with a bachelor's degree in history.

 He plans to go to graduate school in 2008 and his history professor and mentor suggested (before we were even dating) that if he's going to get married in the next few years he needs to do it before starting graduate school. I suffer from a severe case of endometriosis that has also caused me a bunch of other health problems (bleeding ulcers in my bladder, digestion problems, etc.). When I was 18 my doctor advised me not to put off marriage and children because I may be looking at a young hysterectomy. He told me, "Don't just marry some guy off the street but you need to have your children young." I thought my doctor was crazy, but I saw his point. Though more so, I thought he was crazy to think anyone would love me with these health problems. But I met an incredible man who sees past the ailments and a remarkable thing has been happening. A year before him and I started dating I started new treatment and it helped. Gradually I improved more and more but when we started dating I was still quite sick. He saw me in some less than desirable moments but loved me anyway. Fortunately, those improvements have continued as our love has grown. The incredible thing is I had several (and I do mean SEVERAL) doctors tell me I'd never get better and I'd be in horrible pain for the rest of my life. Well, things are looking optimistic. I'm healthier and happier and ready to move on with my life. It's been on hold for the past 7 years, it's about time!!!

My boyfriend and I are traditional and don't believe in "just living together." We realize it's going to be hard, that we're going to be poor, and we're going to have to make a lot of sacrifices but we both feel that this year is the right time for us to get married.  Wish us luck!