Chas of the Undead

“B r a i n s !”

Mike, a friend, called me Friday night and asked if I was interested in being a movie extra. I would meet the guy who was trying to launch the video division of the place he works at, and do some film stuff as well.

Sure.

Noon came and I'm sitting at a table with a bunch of other guys dressed in hospital smocks. I would be a Zombie. We did a runthru of the script and went to makeup.

The story: two prisoners trying to escape a prison now inhabited by zombies.

I'll be the first to actually say that I'm not a big fan of the zombie movie. Yes, I liked, “The Serpent and the Rainbow,” and loved, “Shaun of the Dead.” Maybe I'm being too much of a film snob. Either way, what the heck? I may make some contacts for my stuff.

The Director (Chris) showed us how to do some makeup before he had to go upstairs and deal with the set. Most of us waited until Ashley, the makeup assistant, came and did our appliances. I stood around and cracked a few jokes while waiting.

I had one piece on my arm, one on my wrist, two bullet holes on my neck, one on the side of my cheek, and a bullet hole through the center of my shirt. When someone squirts fake blood down the center of your shirt, you're caught somewhere between unexpectedness and, “That stuff is cold.”

We were shooting on the upper floor of the company which had been used for storage space. To make matters more difficult, it was at least 100 degrees up there. And since I had no flip-flops and walked without my glasses on (in some dark areas) I was walking really slow.

A few hours in and my makeup starts running down my face. The fake open wound on my right wrist drops onto the floor while I attack one of the prisoners through the bars. We take breaks and I re-glue the wound back on.

By 6 o'clock, most of us were tired. Chris was getting tired and a little disoriented. The heat had gotten to most of us and we were trying to speed things up.

We finished by 9. Tired, hungry, and most everyone went out for a beer. I had rode with Chris (who had his kids with him) so we drove back to his place. We talked about the production and that I was interested in helping them out with the 48-hour film fest. I drove home after checking e-mail, getting Rally's for dinner at 10:30. I was beat.

Lastly, I want to give my kudos to the Undead. I didn't realize that being a zombie for only 9 hours was really hard work. They have no healthcare or union and probably no payroll. And, they roam the earth craving brains until they're either shot in the head or their head is severed. I know I couldn't do it.

Then again, if I was dead, I probably wouldn't care.

-Chas

ps. Yes, I did have fun.