I have a confession to make. I have neither read nor seen any of the Harry Potter books or movies. Please, hold your rotten tomatoes.
It’s not that I’m hopelessly obtuse. I’m not a bad mother either, most of the time. It’s just that I’ve been waiting for AEYOB to get to be old enough for us to read the books together. It’s something I’ve been looking forward to for years. Now that he’s eight he’s just about the right age. Unfortunately he skipped right over Harry Potter and went straight to Eragon.
Why am I telling you this? I’m telling you this so you won’t get bent out of shape if I don’t review the new Harry Potter movie this summer. I can’t very well go back and read all the books now, can I? I’m sure you understand.
Fear not. There are family flix galore this summer and your faithful Family Flix correspondent will not disappoint. Here are the movie that are on my short list, and the ones that you may have to see without my blessing.
Must Sees:
Surf’s Up (June 8, rated PG)
Yes, another penguin movie, but one with a twist. The penguins surf. And Napoleon Dynamite's John Heder as a stoner chicken? We are so there.
Ratatouille (June 29, rated G)
A rat who longs to be a chef. Call the health department. Directed by The Incredibles' Brad Bird, this one looks like a classic.
The Simpsons Movie (July 27, rated PG-13)
I have been waiting almost 20 years for this movie. AEYOB has been waiting, literally, his whole life. I won't say much more because odds are good that Family Flix will publish a whole series of articles on the subject.
Daddy Day Camp (August 8, rated PG)
The sequel to 2003's Daddy Day Care starring Eddie Murphy. This time Cuba Gooding Jr. is in charge. I'm just hoping this won't be another Are We Done Yet?
Not-So-Sures:
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (June 15, not yet rated)
I have nothing against this sequel to 2005’s Fantastic Four. In fact, I’d kind of like to see it. AEYOB has other ideas though, which is probably why we’ll end up seeing…
Nancy Drew (June 15, rated PG)
What can I tell you? I loved Nancy Drew back in the day. Didn’t you? The girl detective has been given an update, and I have to admit it looks sorta cute.
Evan Almighty (June 22, rated PG)
Another sequel, to 2003’s Bruce Almighty. Bruce Almighty had a few racy parts, which gives me pause about Evan, but they’ve been pushing the trailer at all the family movies this year, and it is rated PG. Besides, Steve Carell hasn’t disappointed me yet, and Morgan Freeman is God. No, really, he is.
Transformers (July 4, not yet rated)
Another one where I’ll have to drag AEYOB kicking and screaming. I don’t care, it looks hot. Of course, that’s what I said about Spiderman 3.
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (July 11, rated PG-13)
Well, you know.
Underdog (August 3, rated PG)
I loved Underdog when I was a kid. The trouble is, this isn’t a cartoon, it’s a live action dog flying around solving crime. I have to say, I don’t know how they’re going to pull this one off without it looking silly. What’s next, Hong Kong Phooey? But if I don’t see that one I’ll have to see…
Bratz (August 3, rated PG)
Sigh. I’ve always said that those Bratz dolls look like hookers. My daughter will own one when I’m six feet under. But Paula Abdul is in this movie and the chances for unintentional hilarity might just be too good to pass up.
Care to weigh in? Don’t let me stop you.
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Comments: 15
Can't wait for July to see the new one.
Wendy, my daughter is a Harry Potter junkie. She's read all of the books 4 times and has seen all the movies several times too. Do you want me to ask her to write a critic of the movie for you? I'll warn you that she doesn't just critic the movie. She critics it in relationship to the book because they have been consistently better. But, they usually are.
John, I lurrvee you and Kris too. Hold on to those books for when Jillian can read, k?
And Lisa, thanks for the offer, but I'll get around to Harry Potter soon enough.
Now, as for taking the boy to the movie-- no. Shoot, my 15 doesn't even watch 'em onscreen, we have an agreement those are for DVD, at home, where they can sit with us and turn 'em off if necessary. CGA is a hugely powerful thing, and some of the images....well, I'll just say that 9 finished Goblet in time for the movie, when it came out, and I asked him would he feel up to going--and he said no.
In most cases, I don't think it would be such a huge factor -- for example, Zelazny took forever to complete his Amber series, and I knew enough to wait until the series was finished before I started reading them. The difference was that the conclusion wasn't going to make headlines, and there wasn't a legally-binding document of security library catalogers had to sign to prevent early release of the books or revelation of the conclusion.
Kathleen, you know I totally forgot about Bess and George, and you're right, the two sidekicks do seem to be boys. I'll let you know how it turns out. You trust me, don't you?
Maybe we'll have to tag team the Bratz movie and I'll give you input from a 7 year old girl for your column but she's a big fan of all things Bratz so she might not be a fair and accurate ASYOG.