Movie Review: "Blades of Glory"

What in the Wide, Wide World of Sports is goin’ on here?

Starring Will Ferrell, Jon Heder, Craig T. Nelson, and Amy Poehler. Directed by Adam McKay.

When we last left the overgrown 4-year-old Will Ferrell (not to be confused with the Will Ferrell of “Stranger Than Fiction,”) he was called Ricky Bobby, a NASCAR nut with a vengeance. This time around Ferrell plays Chazz Michael Michaels, the “bad boy” of ice skating. His arch-nemesis: goody-two-shoes Jimmy MacElroy, played by Jon Heder. Upon tying for First Place at an international ice skating competition, both get in a fight and are kicked out of the Men’s Singles Competition. Fast forward three-and-a-half years to find Michaels as a drunken sexaholic doing kiddie ice shows and MacElroy working at a sporting goods store. When MacElroy’s stalker gives him the info about a loophole allowing him to skate in competition again, he turns to his coach (Craig T. Nelson) and proposes to skate again? But who will he skate with…?

What follows is the usual “polar opposites who must bond together in order to achieve something great.” Thrown in is a mutual rivalry with skaters Stranz and Fairchild, a latent incestuous brother and sister who will do anything to stay at the top.

This movie had its moments. Several of the gags hit right on cue, but most are what you normally expect from a Will Ferrell movie. Not that this is bad, but once you’ve watched “Elf,” “Ron Burgundy,” “Kicking and Screaming,” and “Talladega Nights,” you find yourself seeing the same character over-and-over. Problems with his dad, womanizing… put together and watched one-by-one the scenarios become formulaic. Or, maybe I’m being a snob and that’s what people want.

The better moments I’ve mentioned before come through the music. MacElroy performs to soft/concerto-type music, while Michaels busts out “The Stroke,” by Billy Squire. When they get together they perform to, “I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing,” by Aerosmith. And to win the competition (this isn’t a spoiler; you knew it would happen) they use none other than the theme to “Flash Gordon,” by Queen. Honestly, at that point I died laughing.

So, if it’s a weekend and you find yourself with nothing else to do and want to waste matinee money, check out “Blades of Glory.” Or wait to rent it. Heck, it’ll probably by on TNT in a year or so anyway.

I give the movie a B-.