ONE HARSH CRITIC: I Heart Huckabees

If you like to sit at Barnes & Nobles with a stack of philosophy books and discuss indie film, you will like this movie.  If you like to keep the New Yorker on your coffee table and drink wine you can't afford you might like this movie.  But if you can admit that your favorite film is The Bad New Bears and your idea of the perfect date involves a dive bar, you will hate this film.  

Here's what I'm getting at.  It seems like people often pretend to like films when they don'tt understand them.  They pretend that they enjoyed the movie when it is doing well in the indie circuit.  People don't want to look stupid or out of style, so they lie.  It's sad, but in Hollywood, I see it everyday. 

This film is the story of Albert Markovski (Jason Schwartzman), a young environmentalist, who has lost his way.  He has become obsessed with the coincidence that he has seen a large African man three times in extremely odd places.  Albert knew that this coincidence meant something, so he enlisted the help of two existential detectives (Dustin Hoffman, Lily Tomlin) to sort out his problem.  They decide that Albert must deconstruct his world and undergo therapy to understand how everything is connected. 

Albert's troubles mount as Brad Stand (Jude Law), tries to infiltrate his environmental group in order to have his new buildings built.  His plan is to get in and divert the group's attention to a wetland as he builds on other protected areas.

In his treatment, Albert is assigned an "other",  a fireman (Mark Wahlberg), convinced that there is a conspiracy about how petroleum will ruin the world, is assigned to help Albert through this tough period of the therapy.  Wahlberg, acting more like an AA buddy, stands by Albert through everything.  They begin to fight the environmental group's love for Stand as though they were children on the playground.  The pair leaves the detectives, and sides with another doctor, the detectives' enemy.   She says that everything is meaningless and nothing is connected.  When Albert sleeps with her, Wahlberg is devastated, and sent out to figure things out on his own. 

In the end, the detectives and the doctor mend fences and realize that their theories aren't complete unless they combine them.  Nothing is completely separate, but nothing is completely connected.  

Confused?  So was I.  I don't even know if I accurately described the events in this film. While the plot seemed to drag and the jokes lacked wit, Mark Wahlberg was amazing.  He delivered his character flawlessly, and was the only part of the film worth watching.  If he weren't in it, I might have asked for my money back.  

So, I love The Bad News Bears.  I love hanging out at dive bars.  That being said, I hated I Heart Huckabees.  But it brought me and my wife together for the night as we rallied to convince all my intellectual friends that it was terrible.  It was fun, and therefore, I enjoyed the night.  Not the movie, but the night.  

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Josh Gloer, Movie Correspondent

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