ONE HARSH CRITIC: The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

If a few good lines were able to make a movie great, The Aquatic Life with Steve Zissou would be destined to become a classic.  However, films are usually two hours, not two minutes.  Bad acting, strange editing and quirky (in a bad way) writing made this imitation 70's flick tough to sit through.  

To be honest, I didn't want to write another bad review.  The year is almost over, and I can't wait as 2004 has really failed to impress me as I have sat through bomb after bomb.  And even though I am sure I will give at least one more negative review before the ball drops, I really, really wanted to give Wes Anderson an A.  That being said, I was checking my voicemail before act one was over.  

The Life Aquatic is the story of a washed up sea explorer named Steve Zissou (Bill Murray) who sets out to find and kill the fish who swallowed his best friend, Esteban.  Or is it the story of a documentary team who is fighting to find funding for yet another film that is surely going to bomb?  Or is it the story of a young pilot named Ned Plimpton (Owen Wilson) in search of a relationship with his estranged father? Or... ¦well you get the idea.

The cast was cemented by veterans like Jeff Goldblum, Angelica Huston, Bill Murray and Willem Dafoe, but they couldn't hide the fact that the other half of the cast was engaging in their freshman attempt at feature film acting.  Maybe it was supposed to ring true of brutal 70's acting, but the fact remains that it was still brutal.  I found myself wondering if one actress was cast simply because she was willing to bare her breast for fifty percent of her screen time - something I shouldn' have had time to wonder about.  

A brutally slow 70's throwback, this film couldn't decide if it was Shaft or The Yellow Submarine.  Long takes filled the screen with pointless reactions and frivolous information that left me often asking, "What was that?"  Anderson's usual humor falls short as this film's idea of a joke is and intern wearing a shirt that says intern, a girl with no shirt on for the sake of having no shirt on and a crew's uniform being red hats and blue Speedos.  None of which left me smiling.  

As Anderson's humor fell short, so did his quirkiness.  Known for his randomness of plot, character and style, Anderson's The Life Aquatic was just strange.  Cartoon fish, Portuguese David Bowie remakes and sudden action scenes just seemed out of place as this film drug on and on. It just didn't fit together.  

All in all, this film was simply a flop.  There's really not much to say other than save your money, and watch it on HBO.  At least then, you can change the channel.   

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Josh Gloer, Movie Correspondent

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