I've been a cat lover all my life. Witness myself reincarnated as Cheddar, a girlie boy if ever there were one. I've always believed cats possessed some genuine feelings for us humans.
Now, however, I have reason to doubt that. In Cheddar's case, I'm almost positive it is not true.
Cheddar is beautiful but he is selfish. He makes the world revolve around him, because, in fact, it does. Squeak, he says, and we come. He looks up at me with his tiny pumpkin eyes and squeaks. Aw, I cannot resist.
When thirsty, he plops his 17-pound frame in front of the water bowl. Sensible enough, but he decides the water bowl is in the wrong place. Does he move? Nooooooo. He makes the water bowl come to him. He inserts his paw directly into the large water bowl and drags the bowl until it is directly in front of him.
When he's lying on the couch, which, granted, is most of the day and all of the night - he usually stays put in one position, the entire time. Again, use the Cheddar icon for reference. This dude is NOT about movement.
When he is too tired to move his butt, he grabs the couch arms with all four paws and uses his massive bod as leverage against the couch. He pulls himself over a few inches.
When I come home, he runs down the stairs and squeaks, kissing me and sniffing to see where I've been, (who I've been with, let's be Frank (or Tom, in Cheddar's case). But does he love me? Does he care?
He rubs against me because he is marking his territory. He owns me and he knows it. He only wants food. He leads me to the food dish, which is not empty. He squeaks in a tiny, girlie girl voice.
You have food, Cheddar dude.
Squeak, but I want you to watch me eat.
Figured that, Ched.
Cheddar has stopped listening; he is chomping on Purina One Indoor Formula. He looks at the fridge.
Baby Food? Squeak please?
I acquiesce.
I give him a lick of Gerber's Beef Baby Food from my finger, but I make him stand on his hind legs to eat it.
He looks at the can of 9 Lives on top of the toaster oven.
Squeak squeak
That means pretty please in Ched language.
I acquiesce.
This time, his brother, Mao, the Tuxedo, comes stomping by, like a herd of elephants, with all of his 15 pounds.
Mao whines.
Mao, he says, saying his name so sweetly.
Mao Mao Mao MAO.
That means Now! in Mao language. This boy's a badass, as bad as a Siamese.
I give them the can of 9 Lives Slices with Beef.
Mao slurps the gravy as noisily as a large dog slurps water from a bowl. Mao thinks he IS a dog. Mao then stands at the back door and Maos again. He wants to stand upright at the screen door until his claws get stuck.
Then he'll whine, MAO MAO MAO, Momma get me unstuck.
Oh God, I'm tired of playing games with these two brothers, partners in crime.
I have better things to do. I have to take a nap. I was at work all day earning money to keep these two big boys in the lap of luxury.
Maybe they'll lie down with me. As if they are keeping me company.
But really, they only want me for food or warmth.
They do not love me. They only love what I do for them.
They come lie down with me: Mao on my knees and Ched at my feet.
Mao and Ched look at me, accusingly:
What have you done for me, lately, Momma?
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Comments: 83
Yes, they rule my house also.
Payam - That is wonderful that you still care for Dolly with her problems :)
Terry, yep, he's been waiting all day for you. Dogs do love people; cats, no.
Payam, you are very good to Dolly.
We need to cuddle, cats love to cuddle (dogs are too wired up wanting to play more than cuddle).
A cat will "talk" to us and we can have a "conversation." (Dogs talk and it sounds like whining or barking).
Maybe dogs are a man's best friend, but I consider cat to be woman's best friend. I so miss mine, but like flit, I choose hubby over kitty, although maybe one day, I can have both again (after kids, babies and pregnancies).
That story made me laugh. Boy, our pets can be so manipulative!!
From Tillie, owner of Jack
Bugsy, The Insane, deigns to live with us. Some days, just barely.
Jack, it is so true. Ched and Mao were 5 pounds at 5 months; Ched was the smaller of the two; well, Ched loves Only his food.
elizabeth, because they purr? Or look so helpless with those eyes? Anything but helpless these lions are.
Kate, oh I know that one. Ched is sleeping by the window just now. I mean, has he moved from the window on the couch, ever?
April, we had a calico once. She was so wild; we had to lock her in the bathroom while we ate or she would get on the table and eat our food. She did not last long; she ran out in a snowstorm at 7 months and found herself under a car.
April, what is a Peterbald?
Tab, we live longer because we are given these special genes, by the cats themselves, for putting up with them.
Jamie, it is true, they really say that,
Jennifer, I always thought so, Cheddar not.
Kristen, you must be the only person to control a cat. You deserve an award.
Jack, yeah, like that will ever happen.
Brandi, oh yeah, i had one of those, once, too. Had to wear a thick robe and 2 thick blankets to bed. She latched onto my shoulder for dear life while sleeping with me.
My cats are a little less presumptuous. It might be because they only really eat dry food and once in a while get a tartar control treat. They have a constant food supply, so they are not fat. I give them toys instead of wet food, partially because my older cat does not eat wet food and partially because I'd rather have them be mentally stimulated - this makes them happier cats! The older cat doesn't even eat human food, really. The smaller, younger cat is a mooch. She's also co-dependent, so if she can't find her big brother, she will meow and meow until a human is present or she finally finds him, then snuggle them relentlessly. Alas, she's hitting the equivalent of teenagerdom and is starting to declare her independence. She's about 9 lbs.
Meanwhile, my 16-pound 3-year old cat enjoys grooming me, acting like he doesn't care if I'm there, and then moping. It's such a weird feeling to get your hair combed through with cat claws and teeth... I only know that he mopes when I'm not around because my husband tells me how despondent he looks and acts when I'm not around, and promptly notices that the kitty gets up and hides away from me when I'm home. Still, he comes around when he's forgiven me for leaving him alone all day and will have a love-you-up-fest every so often.
Perhaps that's the case with your cats? Maybe they have that human male mentality going on, where they think showing that they missed you is a weakness, so they hide it? Hehehe. Who knows...
But back to Vina. She wouldn't play, so Bill got rougher and rougher on her. She would hiss back at Bill because she was far too lazy to PLAY with him, and Bill seriously needed a play mate for a cat, not some lounging wannabe goddess. I can't stand that behavior in cats. They're supposed to be active little beasts.
I also taught Bill some humility with a water bottle. If he does something he's not supposed to do (i.e. bite me for trying to gently pet him), I spritz him with a water bottle. After 3-5 occasions this happens on, he generally does not continue the unwanted behavior.
Now we are onto another cat, since we have a roommate. The new cat is named Noah and is a sweetie. He would have died if he went back to a humane society or whatnot, because he's a black cat with over-sized fangs and claws. He is nowhere near being an 'evil' cat, though. He really is self-centered, as far as cats go, and very unstable at the moment due to the fact that his mommy doesn't sleep at home all night. He whales for her the whole time she's gone. It's as if he's saying, "Mommy, I'm scared!" since we just recently subjected him to two well-adjusted cats (Bill & Beatrix.)
For some reason, he was depriving my cats of food, water, and the litter for a day. I moved all their supplies and that all ended. I believe he only did it because previously, he was in a household with a young boy, and young boys are notorious for experimenting cruelly on animals. Now they all have equal access to the food, water, and litter, and are getting along a LOT better.
The only thing with Noah is that he somehow does not naturally shy away from paint; instead he walks in it, brushes against it, and so on. My cats, for some reason, are so sensitive that they won't even go near a newly painted room because of the smell. I guess it'd have to do with the lifestyle I choose to lead; I don't wear make up, perfumes, or even burn incense, so...
So, anyway, I'll stop writing you a book now!
I'll tell Ched and Mao immediately. No need. They're at my feat, underneath the computer, whining and squeaking and running through my legs between the wires, begging begging begging. Gerber time~
I also have a 20 pounder, Quincy, who is a real sweetheart, but does not smother me all of the time and demand my attention like Darwin. My Clarence Cat used to be 20 pounds, but after an illness he lost much needed weight, and is about 10 pounds, right where he should be. He tends to live in the closet to stay away from Darwin Cat who terrorizes him.
Soon to add a girl to my cat household - my brother had kittens - End of June I'll be bringing her home! I think I'm going to name her Lulu - after someone in history at my friend's ghosttown.
Dogs! Well my dogs adore me, two of them are real Mama's babies, although the middle mama's baby went to live with my son and is quite happy there. Maggie Ho dog, is my companion and will go everywhere with me, but secretly I think she likes my husband better. The Ho Dog is best friends with Darwin Cat since the day I brought him in. Part of the reason is they are only a year a part in age. Funny to see a 95 pound black lab/rott mix playing with a white 14 pound cat. She would love to pick him up and carry him away but he won't let her.
Cecile, that was veyr cute. thanks .
Rosanne
Publisher: The Cat's Meow for Writers & Readers Ezine, an
internet-based magazine, www.rosannecatalano.net;
Author: Mirrored Images (2007), Touch of Tomorrow (2003);
Senior Writer: Storytime Tapestry ezine, and
Columnist: Wt~In Spirit Christian literary print-magazine.
Karolyn, thanks.