by Human, Katherine, seeker of intergalactic life, inhabitant of Earth
Member since:
September 26, 2007

Distant Vision ~ drabble

November 17, 2007 11:25 AM EST
views: 30 | comments: 16

The sunrise, a beautiful mixture of purple and pink, welcomed another day. No human saw the glorious sight or felt the warmth. We hid, living and dieing in the dark, a fitting place to be after what we had done to the Earth.

For 25 years, we survived in caves deep within our world. Two generations had been born in the dark. Never seeing the sun set or rise. Some of us forgot, others never knew.

Today we crawled out of the darkness. Feeling the right time has come. At sunset, which no one saw, as sight has been lost.

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Comments: 16

Lune Wolfsong Nov 17, 2007, 3:26pm EST
Wow. Powerful.
Lune Wolfsong Nov 17, 2007, 3:27pm EST
(I'm especially awed by how much you convey in so few sentences. I aspire to that. I'm so wordy.)
Thank you Lune, I love your writing as well, wordy or not.. The final story is an edit of an edit of an edit! And now as I read it again...I see more I could edit, replace, juggle. LOL
This is my first on Reena, and yes it was fun, once I latched onto a subject.
Thank you for the nice compliment.
zale orcid Nov 17, 2007, 8:25pm EST
mmmmmmmmm intriguing
ChrisJerri S. Nov 17, 2007, 9:02pm EST
Says so much metaphorically. Also, might be plot for Outer Limits.
Thank you Zale, I had hoped so.
Yes, CJ...Outer Limits or Twilight Zone...Thanks for coming by
sheila h. Nov 18, 2007, 4:28am EST
Great premise!

Is this the beginning of a novel?
No, I don't see a novel from this, at least not one I could write anytime soon...Thanks for coming by Sheila
Bob C. Nov 18, 2007, 4:09pm EST
Great Drabble! I've been thinking of trying one and may do so soon.
If I can do it Bob, so can you!
Thanks for taking time to drop in Thomas.
Sheila Deeth Nov 19, 2007, 5:45pm EST
Wonderful story and emotion conveyed in so few words. Great job.
William Dotani Nov 20, 2007, 8:10am EST
This is very good. Would be a great opening for a sci-fi story.
Elsie Duggan Nov 20, 2007, 5:52pm EST
This is really a wonderful piece done in so few words, but with so much meaning, it can take you anywhere your mind wants to go.

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