VA Tech Shootings - Korean Perspective

This was an unknown observation I had not heard about.

Sadly this is not something that has come to the forefront of the media. I think it humanizes the shooter, not something the media wants to do. He was someone's son, perhaps someone's brother. It just goes to show we don't get the full story on the news or in the paper all the time. Such a tragendy, and his parents are victims too.

I have seen nothing about this information anywhere. Even checking urban legends as well as mainstream and small press. I feel that the sensational nature of such an occurrence would certainly be reported somewhere. Certainly appreciate your sharing. Pls. advise how we can verify. Thanks.

Even though Asians are very proud people, I highly doubt what you heard was true. I think if it were true than those close to the Virginia Tech (myself included) would have heard something. It sounds to me like it is another case where people don't understand and so they make up stories to fill in the blanks. Right now, the mass majority of students refuse to leave and future Hokies have felt the same. It was an isolated incident, right now everyone is trying to understand something that is not understandable. Being a native here in Virginia, I worry more about how the Korean students will be treated. After seeing the reactions here against the Iraq people...I am very worried.

Even as this news was coming in, I wondered about the shooter's family. I didn't know at the time where he was from, just that he was someone's son, and that his family would be a badly affected as the families of his victims. Thanks for sharing this story.
It may never make American papers, but it sounds very logical to me.

I am assuming the parents are in Korea, which is where Christine is. I'll take what she says as truth on it until someone proves otherwise.

I didn't know about this either - nor do I understand the culture behind it but I can't help but to wonder if this young man considered any of this concerning his parents before he committed such heinous acts.

"I am assuming the parents are in Korea, which is where Christine is. I'll take what she says as truth on it until someone proves otherwise."

I haven't heard about suicide attempts, but according to all news reports the parents live in the US in Centreville, VA (Fairfax Co., outside of DC). The family has been in the US since 1992.

I find it hard to believe that our News Media which stands on three legs of sensational reporting and one leg of truth has not brought up this mirage of the story. Still, I commend you on raising the bar of understanding. Thanks.

I have wondered about the parents. As a parent of children the same age, I do know that we can't control or be held responsible for what our adult children do. That doesn't mean we don't feel guilt, or extreme sadness. I hope they just let the parents be, they are grieving too.

My parents Live in Fairfax and have not heard anything about this alleged suicide....I saw news reports yesterday that the parents run a dry cleaners there.

pamela is right..CNN said that they work at a dry cleaner had have a daughter in Princeton..hard working people with dreams for their kids..so sad that terrible tragedy took place..

I do think it is a tragedy. But not for the shooter. Having to plot out something that horrible, must have taken a pretty cold/angry heart. And taking his own life ,in my opinion, shows that he was to dilute to take on a punishment so extensive.
My heart goes out, most definatly, to the families of the ones taken too soon.

I wonder if the suicide attempt had anything to do with some of the stories being aired that this young man had written. Stories so horrible that they frightened his writing professor and fellow classmates. Stories about young boys being raped by their fathers and then murdering the offender and such. Lots of stuff about abuse. I wonder how much of his writings came from things that may have happened to him while he was growing up? Maybe the family thought things would never get out? Just a thought.

I did not know about the parents of this very disturbed man. Thanks for raising awareness. I have to say, though, that this story is not a Korean perspective. It is a human perspective. There is nothing inherent in Koreans that might have predicted this tragedy.

I have yet to find another story that has any element of what this story claims. Is it in a paper that isnt accessible through the internet?
Janna FYI, the parents own a dry cleaning business and live in Centerville, Virginia and have since the guy was 8.
Other people have mentioned that there is no movement in that home..like they are not there. If my child did something like this, home would be the last place you would find me. They are hiding from the media and probably out of fear because people will judge them and try and hold them responsible.

Yea, I just went searching and can't find anything on their attempted suicide either. Do you think that maybe this story was concocted to make South Korean's feel like face had been saved?

I did find this quote which I found rather odd

"While emigrating, (Cho's father) said they were going to America because it is difficult to live here and that it's better to live in a place where he is unknown."

http://www.dailypress.com/news/nationworld/ats-ap_intl18apr18,0,2333095.story?coll=sns-ap-topinternational

Why would it be better to live in a place where you were "unknown?"

Christine, thanks for sharing this uncovered aspect of the tragedy.
I watched a short segment last night about the neighborhood where his family lived but this was not reported. In the flurry of reports I had noted that he was Korean but had not extended the cultural significance and how that might come into play. News is about the victims, the perpetrator, the school and police response; not the consequences for his family and friends. Discussing this does not diminish the effects of the killer nor the anguish of the families of the murdered students. However, his family are victims of his actions too. The Asian concepts of family and face are not well understood in the modern western culture.

Moggy hmm, that is interesting. Maybe it was because the child was not normal, which we can see now. Asians have a high standard when it comes to education, I wonder if his psychological issues and the pride had something to do with it. But, either way I do not care to know too much about him.
I do feel horrible for his family though

His parents live in Virginia, so I'm amazed that the rabid media hasn't hunted them down. They have had interviews with some of their neighbors however. I'm glad they are being given their privacy and they are in my prayers. They also lost a son, and have the added horror of knowing that their child also caused this tragedy.

Moggy - I had also seen that report and my take on being in a place where you were "unknown" was that it afforded them to make a clean start. If people don't know your history they don't pre-judge you and it's much easier to start over. I had a cousin who was an unwed mother at a young age. She went to college and got her act together, but people always remembered her as that young girl who got knocked up and dropped out. She finally moved to a new community where her past wasn't known and she was able to make a fresh start and was judged based on her current abilities instead of her past mistakes.

I'm not Korean, but I know a lot of Koreans. The first thing I thought of when I saw the picture and name today was how bad it would be for his parents. The problem for them will be that no matter where they go, they will be a part of the Korean community, and they will know.

I'm getting my info from Koreans. I'm not surprised that the US media isn't covering it. The parents fall in that no man's land between something that is still taboo in these situations (ie, the family of the crazy guy) and the fact that it really isn't important in Western culture. Parents may feel responsible for horrible things their children do, but not to the extent that Eastern parents do.

I also live in Virginia, not to far from the school that all of this took place at. I think this is so sad for everyone. Having children of my own I asked my husband what he thought of the parents, (where were they) he told me that the police went to their neighborhood in the beginning and talked to the neighbors etc. and now they had that area blocked off from media etc at the parents request. Between the two of us we have been watching the news reports continously since this happened and neither of us have heard anything about a sucide attempt of the parents. I just hope they are safe.

I know that one of the press briefings they had recently addressed the suicide issue, and the spokeswoman stated clearly that the parents had not killed themselves, that they were alive and safe, and she would not release their location.

"The first thing she said was: "His parents tried to kill themselves. They are in the hospital.""

Alive and safe could mean anything. Including in the hospital recovering from a suicide attempt.

"Moggy - I had also seen that report and my take on being in a place where you were "unknown" was that it afforded them to make a clean start."

That's the way I took it as well. So what did they need to get away from in their past that would cause them to need "a clean start" where no body knew their past? I'm just curious.

Christine, if you are getting your info from Korean's, are they living here in the US? I'm wondering why would you think they would have more info than we would here where the parents reside if they are actually residing in Korea? Are these Korean's in the USA? Neighbors? Friends of the family? I'm really curious as to where this information is coming from. Rumors and speculation always abound when things like this happen, it can be very difficult to ascertain what is fact and what isn't. I hope they are o.k. in any case.

Thank you for sharing this. My heart went out immediately to the parents of the boy who did this. It's our natural instinct to think about the victims, but the parents of that boy are victims also. They too have lost a son, but their son was lost in disgrace and they will have to live with that the rest of their lives. Think of how that would feel if that was your child who had done something like that. This boy was so mentally unstable he had no business even on campus and there were enough people who knew it that he should have been gone long before this could have happened. One of his teacher's when asked if she thought he would ever kill someone like this said she had alway felt he would kill her. Why had he been allowed to stay with his mental background? He should have been some where getting the help he needed and maybe none of this would have happened.

Christine - I appreciate your attention to fine and apparently overlooked detail. In this connection you might be interested in reading my article: Who Is IsMail? A Possible Solution. http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474976962685

"Christine, if you are getting your info from Korean's, are they living here in the US? I'm wondering why would you think they would have more info than we would here where the parents reside if they are actually residing in Korea? Are these Korean's in the USA? Neighbors? Friends of the family?"

I'm in Seoul, South Korea getting my information from Koreans who read national Korean newspapers. I posted this to highlight the difference in thinking between the West and the East. The West focused on the individual. The East focused on the family. I'm not trying to make anyone feel sorry for the shooter. I'm illustrating a cultural difference with a topical incident.

It's now 11:45 PM Thursday night the 19th in Korea. I've just checked the English on-line versions of the Korea Times and the Dong-A newspaper, and neither of them mentioned the parents attempting suicide.

I don't know what Helen was reading, but that's what she told me. I thought it was interesting that that's what she focused on. Not the shooter, not the victims, not even the school, but the parents of the shooter.

As a therapist I work with people like this every day. Scary in itself.... However, I find that sometimes there is a defining moment, provocation, or intiating factor to which the person has responded (maybe irrationally); and sometimes it is as others have stated; this was a selfish, mean-spirited individual from the beginning, who became filled with insane hate the older they get.
Often, I find parents who are completely either in denial or distant from the person (though not always), so that this started in childhood. All that said: since we can no longer hold individuals in an asylum for unlimited time periods (nor should we be able to), an medication only helps so much; I think it would behoove us as a society to try to stop bullying when we can and to be vigilent of individuals who are victims (and support them somehow), when we can.
By the way, I graduated from William and Mary in Va, there as in many colleges there are wealthy students who don't have a care in the world; and then there are those who are climbing the ladder, so to speak. It takes an irrational mind to turn that into hate for everyone at the university. I'm not sure anyone could have predicted this guy would goTHIS far, although it sounds like the "ball was dropped" several times. At the very least he should have been on some clearance list that kept him from buying guns and ammunition!

Christine - I think you are being somewhat irresponsible in titling your piece " - the Korean Perspective" when you describe only the one comment from "Helen". I am here in the United States and know quite a few people who moved here from South Korea (my husband, in-laws, friends, church members etc.) and their reaction has not been about the shame Cho Seung-Hui brought upon his family, but a mixture of shock, grief, and sorrow for the victims, the victim's families, the shooter himself and the shooter's family. In addition, I don't think the Western Perspective is as cold as you consider it - litigation and the financial impact on the school.

I'm also hearing these things whispered in the halls. It's not just Helen. Koreans in the US, including the Cho family, start thinking like Westerners. I didn't say all Westerners thought about were the cold financial facts, I said that was what my husband and I were talking about. I said that Westerners thought about the individual while Easterners thought about the family. I also didn't use "the" in my title. I can hardly speak for all Koreans, but I can offer what I have witnessed. You are also welcome to offer what you have witnessed. That's the beauty of the site.

I heard on the radio that the parents who live in the United States are being moved from house to house to protect them retaliation.