When I ski I can fly.

When I was fourteen I visited my brother in California and he gave me an old pair of skies, ski poles and ski boots. He seemed so excited about giving me this gift. He told me how much fun I would have when I went skiing. I was polite in accepting his gift but was so sure that this would be another in a series of failed attempts at finding some activity I was OK at. This was a gift given to me by a well meaning family member. I was always taught to say thank you for a gift and so I did.

My older brothers were so athletic and and so smart. I was neither. When I flew back home to Buffalo I met one of my other brothers in a connecting flight from Chicago. I told him about the gift my other brother gave me, figuring he would discourage me. He was just three years older than me but he was generations older in thought and worlds different in experience. He was brilliant and on his way to becoming the youngest dentist in California a few years later. I had learning disabilities and struggled in everything. My brother loved to ski and instead of the reaction I though I would get from him, he was very enthusiastic about me skiing. I had never seen him so enthusiastic about anything we could do together. When I was a little boy he was my hero and I was his buddy .When learning grew hard for me I grew jealous of him and he grew distant.

I was given my skies in August so didn't think too much about skiing until snow started to fall and my brother began enthusiastic discussions mostly one sided with words like rope tows,T bars, chair lifts, snow plow, stem christies, snow making machines, powder and moguls.I did not understand any of those words but my brother was so happy to have these discussions with me and since he was, I was. I was sure that this sporting activity would be another disaster for me but I kept my thoughts to myself.

The day came when my brother and I went skiing. We had on our thermals, sweaters  jeans, mittens, ski cap and ski jacket. As we paid for our tickets at Hugging Hills Ski Resort, I observed several people in the first aid station already and wondered how soon I would end up there.

My brother took me to the bunny slope. He showed me how get up the hill using a rope tow and told me that he would show me just one time how to ski. He told me that I had better watch and follow him and I did. Normally when I tried to watch and follow my brother he left me way behind, but not this time. I was surprised to find that skiing was not work, it was fun.  He looked at his watch and said "look I really want to get some good skiing in. I will leave you for an hour and check back with you."

He left me and I spent an hour of discovery. I discovered that skiing was like nothing I had ever experienced before. I discovered that it was OK to make mistakes, that making a mistake was all about learning how to ski. I discovered that even when I made a mistake. I could pick myself back up and try again. The best part was that whatever mistake I made I could see and understand what my mistake was. I could see how skiing differently would make me better at skiing. For the first time in my life I loved competition, competition with myself.

When my brother came back to check on me he was so impressed that he took me with him to the main slope. The main slope was even more fun. I discovered that I wasn't the only one making mistakes, there were a lot of people making mistakes and no matter what, it was fun. For the first time since I learned to read, learning was fun. The ski trip ended too quickly but I was hooked.

The more I skied the more I felt like I was flying. Much like a bird I was totally in charge of how fast or how slow I went, where I went and when I would go. I could fly over my fears. I could fly over and around any limit that got in my way. When I skied,just like a bird I raced the wind. When I skied, I was on top of the world even when I was at the base of  the mountain.When I skied I could go in to and out of the most difficult areas if my focus was just a little ways ahead and saw the possibilities instead of looking far in to the impossibilities.

I skied for many years and now that injuries have made it impossible for me to go to mountains and ski, I find that I can still ski without going to any mountain. Whenever I need to fly like an eagle, I simply close my eyes and I am on a mountain, racing past the stress and frustrations of the day. When I do, I am able to feel the wind beside me and see the wide open sky and much like the sky my possiblitites are endless.When I do, I remember that when I fall the only thing to do is to pick myself up and race the wind again. May we all take the time to fly.