Open house for incoming ninth graders is always fun. Parents are more confused than the new freshman. Often the unexpected is said by those who are quite thankful that they are not the ones going through the High School experience again.
I was so excited to see my newest student. He brought his grandmother with him.
We had met 10 weeks earlier but she had forgotten me completely. I always thought I was more memorable than that, but she is not the first one to forget me and probably won't be the last one. On the way out of my classroom she spoke to me in a conspiratorially quiet voice. She said "I thought I might let you know that my grandson has algebra." He has algebra so bad he can hardly breathe, so please keep an eye on him." I am not sure if it's possible to hurt something inside of you when you try to keep a loud laugh from rising rapidly to the surface, but I know for me it really hurt. It was a great relief that it did eventually go away after I had a chance to release the laughter.
After she left and I had my laugh. It occurred to me that she was right. Coming down with and suffering from algebra is not a laughing matter. It is serious and must be addressed. There may be a major algebra epidemic but no one is talking about it. Could this be a government conspiracy?
I know for a fact that I have had algebra more than once. I may have it right now. I just cannot be certain. Whenever I even think of algebra I break out in a sweat. Sometimes is so painful it even brings me to my knees though I still fail algebra tests in spite of my knee bends. It causes me to have headaches. Although to be honest most every kind of math activity gives me headaches. It causes me to have insomnia and even memory loss on occasion.
I am not alone in this either. I have shared this health concern with others in my school and community. Besides the math department (but who can figure how the math teachers think, there must be some formula to explain their thought process. Unfortunately so far I have been foiled in trying to understand even the basic principal of teaching math). Many others from across our curriculum and in the community have approached me privately to express they too suffer from algebra. My research so far has been unscientific but I have a notation that the amount of people who suffer from algebra is exponential.
What worries me the most is that nothing seems to be done about the crisis. That is correct, there has been virtually no effort to correct this problem, one might say absolute zero has been done. Algebra sufferers it is time for us to unite. It is time for algebra sufferers to stand up and be counted. If we do so maybe someone in the government will calculate the damage done. it is time for us to walk a square route to solve this problem.
We all know what could happen if a cure for algebra is not found soon, it could lead to a bad case of geometry or Calculus, or even worse (it's just too horrible to even contemplate) but we could even have terminal Trigonometry. This could scar us for life, so much so we might even consider changing careers to become engineers.......brrrrr I don't even want to think about it.
rate
email
print
link to this page
Comments: 20 ( 2 removed by Kevin E. )
I am going to send this to my daughter, who went to college to be a high school math teacher but now teaches adults software.
She will enjoy it!
Something in my brain slams on the brakes when presented with a math problem. Teachers and friends have assured me that math is simply logic, so I guess I must be illogical, as well. I just don't get it.
My statistics teacher told me to think about what things I was comparing and I'd know the right formula. It didn't happen. I just memorized the formulas and didn't worry about logic.
In my humble opinion, algebra and its cousins, trigonometry and calculus, were invented by someone sadistic, with way too much time on his hands.
http://friendsofdanh.gather.com.
Our goal is to help you further your exposure and to support other gather members.
Algebra is not painful. It is excruciating. And if you are familiar with the etymology of that word, you know that it derives from the Latin crux, which means cross, and was created specifically to describe the kind of anguish someone goes through when executed by crucifixion. And if you are familiar with the medical explanations behind crucifixion.....
'Nuff said.
Great article!
I used to have a collection of these Malapropisms. A minister told me how they put his fingers in splinters when he brok them in a car door. Brown-chitis and barnicle pneumonia are common. And you've no idea how many men have prostrate disease. But then, better prostrate than supine, I always say.
Thanks Kevin
Again, thanks for the laugh this morning. Hope your day is going well.