The Letter
Mrs. Amelia Evans sat alone in the dark room gazing out the window. The angry sea crashed against the rocks below spraying its white foam against the glass. She remained unmoving and silent clutching tightly a piece of paper in her right hand. Her blue-grey eyes somber as the storm clouds approached rapidly.
A bright flash of lightening seemed to wake her from her trance, and she leapt from the chair. The clap of thunder soon after shook the house to its very core. She moved quickly down the hallway as she had done many times before. Her slippered feet slid across the creaking wooden floorboards of the old house.
The study was at the far end of the hall. It was a small room with not much more than an old wooden desk, and very tattered books. The only light in the room came on flashes from the lightening strikes outside the large window.
Once she reached the room her hand instinctively went for the light switch, but nothing happened. Amelia cursed under her breath as she tried to find a candle. The old house seemed to lose power with every storm. The dim light wavered as she sat down at her desk and scribbled something quickly onto a sheet of paper. Her old fingers trembled with every letter as she held the pen.
After many failed attempts were crumpled and thrown on the floor, she finally had what she needed. The message was simple and precise, but did not give too much away. Reading through the words once more, she was sure she was satisfied with the result. The only problem now was finding the messenger.
"Chloe, where are you?" Amelia called from the room with her sweet voice.
The answer came in the form of small ringing bells which grew progressively louder. A moment later a large white Persian cat entered the room with the air of superiority that most cats possess. Mrs. Evans waited patiently as the cat moved gracefully toward her.
"There you are," she said as she reached out her hand to scratch behind Chloe's ears.
The cat?s fur was as soft as silk, and as white as newly fallen snow. At first glance she appeared to be like any other cat, but one look at her eyes and you knew she was not an ordinary cat. The left eye was a brilliant sparkling green while the right was an ice blue which seemed to stare into your very soul.
"I need you to do something for me," Mrs. Evans told the cat in her smooth sing- songy voice.
Chloe sat flicking her tail back and forth against the surface of the desk. Her loud purr vibrated beneath Mrs. Evans? fingers. The cat acted pleased with the idea as if she could understand every word that was said to her. Her eyes stared straight to her owner anticipating what was to come next.
"I would like you to deliver this letter to my son," she said as she rolled the piece of paper and placed a red ribbon around it. "I would also like you to take this to my granddaughter."
Mrs. Evans unclasped the necklace she had worn for many years. Since the time it was given to her it had not been removed from around her neck. She looked at the small charm dangling from the silver chain. For a moment she felt a twinge of sadness her neck felt naked from the loss. The chain was looped twice around Chloe's neck to make sure it would not fall off.
Chloe took the letter in her mouth then sat completely still staring straight at her owner. The old woman raised her right hand and with the flick of her wrist and a bright flash of light the cat was gone.
Miles away a few seconds later there was another bright flash, and the cat reappeared completely unfazed by the trip. She was in the kitchen of a quiet dark house much different from the one she had just left. All the inhabitants were fast asleep in the rooms above. She dropped the letter on the small round kitchen table. The knot of the ribbon kept the paper from falling onto the floor as it began to roll across the wood. Chloe jumped from the table without a sound, and moved across the house with precision as if she had been there before. At the top of the stairs she entered a room with signs covering the door. She pushed her way forward through the clothes to find the bed in the center.
A young girl slept peacefully as Chloe jumped on the bed softly trying not to wake her. The cat shook her head back and forth trying to remove the chain around her neck. It landed on the comforter right below the girl's hand the silver sparkling in the moonlight.
She moved back into the dark hallway just as she started to hear noise coming from the other room. She gave a soft mew, and there was yet another flash of light and the cat was gone.
Chloe found her master sleeping in her chair. She rubbed her body against her legs to let her know she had returned before going back to one of her many hiding places.
Mrs. Evans opened her eyes when she felt the familiar caress of Chloe on her legs. She was unaware she had even fallen asleep until then. The letter she had received was crumpled on the floor next to the chair. She flattened the paper reading the words once again as if to find some hidden meaning.
It is time.
~A
The handwriting was all too familiar. They had corresponded for many years, but this was the letter she hoped she would never receive. She re-crumpled the note and threw it forcefully into the fire watching as each letter slowly turned to ash.
http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474977111140 Chapter 2


Comments: 20
One single thing, The letter should be a scroll, and not crumpled. "It's Time" rolled, tied with a black ribbon and sealed with the crimson wax of (it's your story)
If you'd like specific suggestions, email me and we'll discuss.
This would be well placed with the Fantasy Writers Guild as well.
God Blessings
dee-dee
10*
Loved the beginning and am going to the next chapter.
Well done!
Brilliant bit of writing. You held my attention throughout, giving me just enough so I stayed involved, but not enough to lose the anticipation and mystery.
In short, your story is well paced and well told. A definite 10 and pat on the back.
Two tiny picky bits;
1: Choose different words. To make your meaning clearer.
'The cat shook her head back and forth [trying to remove] the chain around her neck' Perhaps replacing 'trying to remove' with something like 'until the chain fell from her neck'
2: Add ***** or white space to indicate a change of perspective. It'll help the reader know who's point of view (POV) the story is told from.
I'm referring specifically to the point at which the cat returns and you have the cat rub against her legs. Next, you relate the same event from Mrs. Evans POV. Some indication of change here would help.
Thanks for the terrific read.
Frank