My Life As a Wedding Attendee - The Inspiraton Behind My Book

When people hear of my book and its topic, the question I'm most commonly asked is about my own wedding experiences.  This makes sense.  The heroine in The Best Day of Someone Else's Life, Vi Connelly, is besieged with weddings – progressing from flower girl, to maid of honor, to perpetual wedding attendee – and the story follows her musings from starry eyed romantic to realistic adult, with the lure of marriage as the vehicle. 

A fellow writer once said to me that an author should never admit to any autobiographical content in their work.  I looked at the southern American writer, who had studied abroad and written a book about a southern American studying abroad, and had to laugh.  I chose not to agree.  While my book is a work of fiction, it is drawn from life experience.  Though much of any book is imagination, the soul of being able to interpret our imagination into something people can connect to comes from our real life experiences.  In my case, Vi's wedding odyssey is informed by my own thorough experience.

I served in two weddings before I was seven, the tacky, poufy 1970s flower girl garb a forecast of future teal and celery satin dresses that would crowd my closet.  I've attended over fifty weddings in the last decade, serving as a maid of honor five times, a bridesmaid five times, and a reader twice.  On a few occasions I was asked but never made it to the altar, because neither did the couple.  Happily, the bride figured out her mistake before she figured out the bridesmaid dresses.  On at least one memorable occasion I was "disinvited" as a bridesmaid.  She said it was necessary to appease some cousins.  My ego elected to believe her.  I've been one of eight bridesmaids and one of one.  I gave some burnt toasts and I was asked to work in television after a toast.  The only dress I ever wore again was the one I got to pick myself.

As recently as last year, I might have said I wanted my own grand event, eager for my turn.  But, while my heroine is not me, I've been instructed by Vi's process of maturation.  Even though I created her, she reshaped the way I think with her choices and opinions.  I suspect I would do it very differently now.

I'll close by saying that despite the occasionally cynical tone of Vi's – and my own – musings, I love weddings.  I confess to an anthropological interest in comparing and contrasting.  But also, they move me.  The bride always looks the loveliest she has ever looked on the day she gets married.  I am unfailingly touched to be included in a wedding, and thankful for the many friends who have invited me to share their special experience.  It really is special.

But, just because I have a romantic streak doesn't mean that the ritual isn't ripe for comedy.  For your enjoyment, I've created a timeline of memorable milestones in My Life As A Wedding Attendee:

1976 – Kerry Reichs dons her first poufy floor-length Holly Hobbie style flower girl dress for her aunt's wedding.  After her stellar petal scattering performance, a horde of aunts race to the altar for first, second and third weddings to enlist Kerry's services. 

1978 – Kerry repeatedly parades around house wrapped in her mother's antique Irish lace tablecloth, with dining room chandelier crystals hung over her ears and a grape ring pop on her finger.  She gets a scolding.

1980 – Kerry stages weddings between her brother's diminutive sized G.I. Joe Scarlett doll and various G.I. Joe soldiers. Scarlett's husbands have a high mortality rate so Scarlett can have more weddings. 

1981 – Kerry stays up all night long to watch the live broadcast of Prince Charles and Lady Diana's wedding.  She is more interested in the "staying up all night long" part, but the wedding was nice too, if a little slow.

1991 – Kerry's first high school friend gets married and she is overjoyed to be a part of it.  Today she can't remember the groom's name or face. 

1992 – Kerry encounters her first dyed shoe.  She also encounters her first rainy wedding.  Her feet are blue for three weeks.

1995 – Kerry serves as maid of honor three times in six months, and learns the unglamorous parts of the job, such as helping the bride go to the bathroom while encumbered by her gown and taping her breasts into place.  Kerry experiences her first scandal of Something That Happened at the bachelor party.  Everyone marries anyway. 

1994 – 1996 (This is a repeated event): Kerry gives a perfectly dreadful wedding toast, enshrined for all eternity on the wedding video.

1996 – Kerry gets in a wicked fight with her boyfriend because they are late to a wedding.  Boyfriend calmly bears her wrath with a dismissive "weddings never start on time."  This will remain true for every wedding Kerry attends.  She'll be tardy often. 

1997 – Kerry drives seven hours to a wedding in the deep south, discovers the reception is dry, and immediately drives home after signing the guest book and greeting the bride and groom in the receiving line.   They never notice.

1998 – Kerry succumbs to first ill-advised updo against her better judgment.  The pictures still haunt her.

2000 – Kerry serves as a bridesmaid three weeks before taking the bar exam, and spends most of the destination weekend wedding studying in a Starbucks when everyone else is having fun.  She passes the exam. 

2001 – Kerry observes the beginning of the cupcake phenomenon, served instead of wedding cake.  She actually eats the cupcakes.  She is impressed with her first "branded" wedding, where bride has a logo for the event. 

2002 – Kerry oversleeps after being overserved at a rehearsal dinner and arrives far beyond the safety window of late wedding start times.  Kerry discovers the wedding has been delayed 45 minutes because the bride is overcome with joyful weeping.  Kerry slips safely into pew before bride collects herself and walks down the aisle.

2003 – Kerry is invited to eighteen weddings in twelve months.  She attends fourteen, spanning five countries.  She becomes an excellent packer and buys stock in Williams Sonoma.  She only suffers two regrettable hair mistakes.

2004 – Kerry attends a wedding as a regular guest, only to be startled from her pew to the altar for an unexpected reading when the bride lets fly an audible expletive, followed by an "I forgot to tell you…." when the minister asks the reader to stand.  Kerry delivers textbook recitation of First Corinthians.  From memory.

2005 – Kerry's Vera Wang floor length celery maid of honor dress sets two new records, garnering distinction as most expensive to date, and most nail-bitingly last minute delivery.  Father of the bride is able to announce at the rehearsal dinner that the dresses were delivered to the bride's home at 9PM the night before the wedding, releasing Saks buyer guest from potential last minute morning run to pick out new dresses.   Kerry regrets yet another unfortunate updo, but is happy to be told by guest Dr. Ruth Westheimer that she delivered the best wedding toast Dr. Ruth had ever heard. 

2006 – Kerry learns that in South America if the invitation says the wedding begins at 4PM, it will begin at 8:30PM.  The music is very good, though. 

2007 – Kerry at last will not be persuaded by the over-eager hairdresser, insisting on a "simple knot" and is pleased with the result. 

2008 – Kerry is invited to seven weddings by February.  She is delighted. 

11 Weddings in 18 Months. And None of Them Hers. The Best Day of Someone Else's Life is a featured book in Fictions Readers, a group to discuss contemporary women's fiction, books, women's issues and much more. Click here to join the group.

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