A 2007 Revelation

As I was doing my bible reading tonight, some things became clearer to me, things I had not known before and I feel burdened by God to share what He has shown me with you all, so that you will be encouraged by His word. Many of us struggle with our human nature, our pre-determined ways of reacting and acting. We may like or dislike how we respond to stress, or things that trigger anger, envy, guilt, malice, etc. Some of us may even wish we could change, but it seems every time a circumstance arises in which we can put new behaviors, Godly ones, into action, it does not seem to happen. For me, I have decided, before tonight that God made me the way I am for a reason, and I cannot change, and He does not want me to. My mom is the same way as I am, and as much as I try to be different, I cannot. Beth Moore calls this generational sin. I believe what she means is the way our genes (nature) are coded and how these are passed on, and how sometimes we feel we cannot change them. For me, I have been dealing for a long time with wanting to be different, not so thin-skinned. I recently dealt with a situation that had a very bad ending. I am extremely tender hearted, I really cannot endure seeing anyone hurt, it hurts me badly, and I want nothing more than to comfort them. This is the good thing, the bad is that it works both ways, the smallest thing will set me off to tears. All my life people kept telling me I won’t make it in the rough world if I care so much about what others think and allow them to hurt me. I recently worked for a company where my boss was really hard on me, from the beginning it was never “hello, good morning”, there was never a smile in my direction, and there was a LOT of yelling, and rude questions, and lack of constructive criticism, and just what seemed to me an obvious personal dislike of, and disrespect towards me. I held my tongue for awhile, cried when I had to, just to get my emotions out, then I got angry and desired revenge. I am very ashamed to say that I bad-mouthed this boss to several people, just wanting some validation of how I was feeling. It got me fired, for you really cannot trust people, but more importantly, leave your personal feelings at home, work is work, nothing else. So, I have been licking my wounds from that, it happened just before this Christmas, and now I have $2000 in bills each month, and no job. I am not worried about getting another Job, just upset how that one ended. To get to the point here, what I learned tonight I learned from this Scripture: Romans 8:12 “So, brothers and sisters, we have no obligation to live the way our corrupt nature wants us to live.” To me this meant, nothing can stand in Gods way, which I did know, but did not fully realize, not nature, genes, pre-determined anything. God made me the way I am for a reason, but he is not yet done working in me, or any of us. So now I say, if I feel I keep on reacting in ungodly ways, if I feel resentment towards being disrespected, and I cannot seem to get around it to acceptance than I WILL NOT just be resigned to thinking that is the way I am. I will pray and pray and PRAY for God to intervene in his amazing love, grace and power to make me who HE wants me to be. I believe in Him! No longer will I resign myself to thinking I cannot change, even though Psychology tells us our cognitions and patterns of thinking are set by the age of 20 or 21. Nothing can stand in the way of GOD. Hear me, if any of you are dealing with these kinds of things, take heart, read Romans 8, pray to God, and know that there really is NOTHING GOD CANNOT DO.I love my brother and sisters in Christ, and those who have not yet joined our family.Peace to all, and endless love.Tracey.

Comments: 5

Marsha F. Jan 2, 2007, 8:05pm EST

You've had a wonderful insight! Thanks for sharing. I don't think there are very many people around with whom God is finished! I KNOW I don't fall in that category!

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Edd E. Jan 2, 2007, 8:46pm EST

I agree wholeheartedly with Marsha F.! Thank you for your courageous openness, Tracey. I am sure you have/will continue to help a lot of people by being this willing to share and be genuinely vulnerable. (I know you've helped me; thank you!) My New Life resolution: Live the truths you, Tracey, shared here. "Be more than I can be!" ;)

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Tom Kurtz Jan 2, 2007, 8:47pm EST

I've been in your shoes and the scripture is appropos. We have to confront our weaknesses. There's grace in that.

There's also grace in seeing the weakness in others and understanding it. I mean people like your boss and the people who tattled on you.

But I could be wrong.

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Jay B. Jan 2, 2007, 9:15pm EST

Tracey, my boss used to be just as you described. So I can relate. Please don't kick yourself for your reaction to his behavior. You are only human. God knows that.

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Maureen Sullivan Stemberg Jan 8, 2007, 4:12pm EST

Tracy, A wonderful piece and thank you for sharing your thoughts...very inspiring.
I, too, hope God is never though with me...

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A 2007 Revelation

Comments: 5

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