Over the summer my daughter was invited to another birthday party for another little girl who is turning three. They sent out invitations. I RSVP promptly and let them know we were coming to the event for that coming Saturday.
When Saturday morning came I received a phone call from the girls father. He called to ask me if I bought a present for his daughter. A little embarrassed from waiting to the last minute and a little shocked by the question, I answer no, not yet. Embarrassed, he explained that his wife was making him call everyone who RSVPS to make sure people bring presents and if they are not going to bring one, they can't come.
Because I haven't yet made it to the store he whispered in the phone, if you can't afford it let me know, I'll let you use one of my gifts that I bought for her and I'll put your name on it. I told him that wouldn't be necessary. I was just being lazy and waiting to the last minute to buy a gift.
I was so surprised and mad by this phone call. I was mad at his wife and mad that he went along with her idea. Even though he did offer to give us a gift from his pile.
Today, we are going to another three-year-old birthday party, from a different family. I was really hesitant of going because of what happened last time. I read the invitation and it said, please no gifts. I'm ecstatic!
Anyone else has to deal with crazy parents? Or am I overreacting?
recommend this
email
print
link to this page
Comments: 76
That poor kid. What are they teaching her?
If we are invited to a birthday party, we always take a little gift. If I was to have a parent call and ask me if I bought a gift, I think I would decline going to the party. That's just crazy if you ask me.
I would have shown up sans gift, just to see what happened. Ah...fun fun
Though gifts are never "required" there are times in etiquette where it is usually "expected." It is something that is disturbing me. From what I read about wedding invitations EVERYONE I send a wedding invitation to is SUPPOSED to send me a gift? What is up with THAT?!? Granted, you would hope that after spending several thousand on a wedding you'd get at least a few hundred in gifts out of the deal, but I thought the reason to invite people to my wedding would be because I wanted them to know they were welcome?
Usually when you invite people to a party, you expect that they will bring a gift from within their price range, and you teach your child not to expect any, and to be grateful for whatever gifts they get. Though a party planner would hope that each guest would bring a gift, to require one is downright rude...
Maybe we should have a party for a kid, build up expectation, then give the kid nothing, not even cake. That will prepare him or her for the realities of life.
(that's a joke)
My children were taught from a young age that they were not to expect their friends to bring a present to their party. They should just be happy that they came and thank them for coming to have fun. If a friend did give a gift that is a bonus.
My youngest is turning 4 soon and has told all of here friends that she is not looking for presents other then hugs!
The mom doesn't correct her. Finally this year I just said that we couldn't go and plan to do that with upcoming birthdays.
Sometimes, people just have no brains.
Elliott hasn't had a birthday party with friends yet, but when he does, I will probably put on the invitation to not bring gifts, but I guess it just depends on how old he is at the time.
I would never want any of my nieces friends left out of the fun because they didn't have a gift. Just think of the values this young girl is learning.
That family is horrible for that.
Thanks goodness these other parents who are having a party for their daughter have a whole lot more class!
so sad that these people probably ride roughshod over people in many aspects of their
lives..
I bet they are never wrong and hate to be contradicted ,too.
find new friends..your child will thank you for it down the road..
My daughter and stepson have both been raised to believe people and friendships are way more important than material things! We had a themed party for my daughters birthday this year it was a "Superhero" karaoke party. She wanted to do superheros so that people who couldn't afford costumes could come dressed normally as their "secret identities' and still have fun. I thought that was really sweet!
sorry that happened to you... Blessings...
If I were you, I would NOT attend the party! I can't believe the nerve!
I know of another friend who asked people to "adopt" an animal at a local zoo or aquarium instead of a gift, but she certainly didn't make it a requirement.