by Stefanie Plum, Gather Partner Team
Member since:
February 19, 2008

"Duplicity" opens in theaters. Win $50 Gift Card for a girls' night out at the movies!

March 19, 2009 02:15 PM EDT (Updated: April 20, 2009 01:40 PM EDT)
views: 554 | comments: 157

This Friday, the new spy thriller, Duplicity, opens in theaters. The film's writer/director, Tony Gilroy, has made the transition in recent years from acclaimed writer to writer/director. Gilroy has been involved in many hit films including:

Armageddon

The Bourne Identity

The Bourne Supremacy

Dolores Claiborne

Michael Clayton

The State of Play

State of Play will be released in theaters on April 17th.


Gather wants to give you a chance to see Tony Gilroy's latest work, Duplicity, starring Julia Roberts and Clive Owen. In the film, the duo star as spies-turned-corporate operatives in the midst of a clandestine love affair. When they find themselves on either side of an all-out corporate war, they discover the toughest part of the job is deciding how much to trust the one you love.

You could win a $50 Fandango gift card that could be used for a girls' or guys' night out to see Gilroy's anticipated hit, Duplicity. Just tell us in the comment field below, what is the toughest part of a relationship for you? Is it trust, like the characters in Duplicity, or something different? Comments must be posted by Sunday, March 29th. Gather will draw one respondent to receive a $50 Fandango gift card.

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Comments: 157

Jenn P. Mar 19, 2009, 2:17pm EDT
For me it is trust... I dont see him that often because he's a over the road trucker..so that scares me
DiAnA D. Mar 19, 2009, 2:17pm EDT
toughest part of any relationship would be hanging in there when the going gets tough. Too many couples call it quits too soon.. Hang in there..
Renee (Pres of Baby James Foundation) ~. Mar 19, 2009, 2:21pm EDT
That is easy to answer for me, it is trust. I have a trust issue with everyone. I will pass this one up though.
Elaine A. Mar 19, 2009, 2:22pm EDT
We have been in some tough times, espically when my husband was in school and he had no student loans, we survived pay check to pay check on very little grocery money. But we always stuck together no matter what.

For me it is admitting when I am wrong when he is right, which is not often.
Teri V. Mar 19, 2009, 2:25pm EDT
dealing with each others little quirks. I know we each have our own way of doing things, but sometimes it rubs us the wrong way.
Jo N. Mar 19, 2009, 2:30pm EDT
I guess that the toughest part of my relationship has to do with telling my husband exactly what I think needs to be done to help out. I have been the primary wage earner in our relationship for a long time now, probably around 5 years or so. He got mad at his last job and quit and he hasn't been back to work since! He plays video games on the computer all day long (I have to dish out $60 to $100 a month for this...) and he rarely will help out with any housework. I have confronted him about this before and it only ends up in an arguement and leaves me feeling bad for even mentioning it, so I just ignore it as much as possible. It is so embarrassing when my parents, friends or other family members ask me if he is doing anything yet and I have to say no. He is smart and is capable of accomplishing alot, he went to college and got straight A's in computer programming and he only has one class left to take and he won't do it. I have always had a job and try really hard to make sure we have things that we need, but it sure is a downer to have to go through this. I don't know if this is what you meant by "the toughest part of a relationship", but to me it is the toughest part of mine. We have been together 19 years now. So to sum it all up, the toughest part of my relationship is being able to stand up for what I want and not let someone run over me and make me feel guilty.
Being a diehard cynic with a suspicious nature, it would have to be trust at first. Trust also comes slowly for me. Once that is established it is unshakable. But, should that trust be broken after that point, it is never given again.
Another biggie is a controlling personality. Someone who wants to control me even in little ways will soon be forgotten.
Amanda J. Mar 19, 2009, 2:33pm EDT
The toughest part is trust.
Ginny W. Mar 19, 2009, 2:40pm EDT
The toughest part for me has been finding someone that wants to be loyal. I found it one time in my life and he was married.

His wife would accept me in their lives. However, I want to get married and be a "real" wife because I have never been one.

The rest of my relationships, the men have either slept with someone else. Or, they were loyal to me, but I was not in love with them.

So loyalty is what I need and it seems very tough to find. A man that will commit to staying with me the rest of our lives for better or for worse.

Now I am a single mom of 4. I have one child with special needs and one with A.D.H.D./Bipolar.

I think it may be impossible for me to find. :-(
Crystal R. Mar 19, 2009, 2:41pm EDT
I LOVE Julia Roberts and am really excited to see this movie.

The toughest part of a relationship for me is allowing anyone to get close to me. My friends joke around and say I'm like the guy in relationships because I freak out if I think a guy is getting clingy. I hate the awkward first conversations. It's great when I meet someone and it seems like we have known each other for ages. He just can't seem way too excited or else I'm done.
Brittney R. Mar 19, 2009, 3:05pm EDT
I think it's open and honest communication. When there's an open flow of truth, it's easier to "fix" other problems that arise.
Susan V. Mar 19, 2009, 3:12pm EDT
Trust and working at it to keep it going!
Shannon S. Mar 19, 2009, 3:16pm EDT
Having a relationship is the toughest part.
Janet "Jax" B. Mar 19, 2009, 3:20pm EDT
I think the toughest part of a relationship is living with the little annoyances on a daily basis. I trust my husband completely. There are little things he does that drive me nuts, including not being able to handle money.
Ashley M. Mar 19, 2009, 3:21pm EDT
I think the toughest part of a relationship is fighting the tendency to suppress are feelings. I know that a lot of the times I really have to force myself to let how I feel actually leave my lips. I don't like to make people unhappy, and I know that for most people in a relationship finding out that they are doing something to make their partner unhappy is disturbing. I know my husband is upset when he knows he upsets me, so to keep us both from being upset, I will usually stew which is not a good thing. Better to let all the anger out for five minutes than let it simmer inside for days.
Bridget ♥ Mar 19, 2009, 3:23pm EDT
I think the hardest part is opening myself up 100% to another person! When you put everything out there for another person to share and to take, if things go bad, a big part of you is taken as well!

I've been happily married for 10 years, as of tomorrow, and it took me quite some time to let him in 100%.

I trust my husband completely, 100%. I trust him with my life and those of our two beautiful children! Without trust, you have nothing!

Relationships can be very scary but if you find the right person, it's all worth the risks you have taken!
♠~Dnbuster~♠ ~. Mar 19, 2009, 3:27pm EDT
the hardest part is giving myself to someone and not knowing what is going to happen in the future
Vikki M. Mar 19, 2009, 3:35pm EDT
The toughest part for me is in compromise. I'm stubborn at times and when I want something I want it! I never used to like to give even an inch, but I have learned that somtimes you actually get more out of it if you're willing to give a little. I still have times when I want it MY WAY, but I'm much better about communicating with my husband so that we both can reach a decision that benefits us both.
Marianne R. Mar 19, 2009, 3:45pm EDT
Oh yeah Trust is top of the list. You just never know when someone is pulling the wool over your eyes. It sucks to have to shield yoourself from this.
Christine Zibas Mar 19, 2009, 3:46pm EDT
I loved Julia Roberts and Clive Owen in "Closer" and can't wait to see this.

As for what I find hardest in a relationship, like most women, is to hang on to myself. Women are used to giving of themselves, and so often they lose the very essence of who they are and what makes them special by focusing on the other person and not paying attention to what they want from life.
Christine Zibas Mar 19, 2009, 3:47pm EDT
Also...do men and women really speak the same language?
charity kimball ツ Mar 19, 2009, 3:48pm EDT
The toughest part in a relationship with me is Trust... I have been lied to so many time in the past and the last 7 yrs i was lied to So much by my ex. I am now with someone else and I find myself not trusting and its really hard for me But I know I need to get over that and try to trust again to make this relationship work ..All I know is I will only give one chance this time around.
Renita P. Mar 19, 2009, 3:50pm EDT
The toughest time we've had is to get through the financial trials. I know we do the best we can, but it's still hard when day after day you wonder how this month's bills are going to be paid. It's really hard not to sacrifice your family in order to work more to have more money.

I know that our relationship was a gift from God, so we have not had the trust issues, the fights, or any of the other "common" problems in a marriage. But sticking together through extreme financial distress can be very difficult
golds g. Mar 19, 2009, 3:53pm EDT
oh please pretty please choose me! Now that I have finsihed with the begging lol! Honestly the hardest and toughest part of a relationship for me is the honesty I find it hard to trust a guy if he tells me he's interested in me and then the next thing I know is he changes his mind. I went out out on a date with this guy and at the end of the date we made plans for another date we spoke on the phone and after again and then out of the blue before we go out a second date he tells me its me ....you know the line
☃ Aunt Shanny Mar 19, 2009, 3:53pm EDT
what is the toughest part of a relationship for you?

I am sure my answer will be different than most. The toughest part is not being able to contribute fully (in many areas) due to health problems.
*Mel * Mar 19, 2009, 4:04pm EDT
the toughest part for me is finding someone who is willing to meet me halfway. alot of times people dont want to put in 100%. they only want to put in half of that. And in that case a relationship will not work.
Robyn F. Mar 19, 2009, 4:09pm EDT
I hear ya Katie S!!!!!
Robyn F. Mar 19, 2009, 4:10pm EDT
yeah, trust. reality and life experience has taught me most people in general can not be trusted.
Robyn F. Mar 19, 2009, 4:12pm EDT
another hard part for me is not being their 'mommy'...i always try to 'fix' their problems, or clean their house, or help them with one thing or another. i have to make a conscious effor NOT to....
April H. Mar 19, 2009, 4:14pm EDT
For us the hardest part is compromise. We're both stubborn people, and neither of us like to back down, but it's necessary in a relationship!
Rita j. Mar 19, 2009, 4:45pm EDT
The toughest part of a relationship is depending on that person to be your everything
Alex In Wonderland Mar 19, 2009, 4:49pm EDT
The toughest part of a relationship for me is...well, just about everything! We have had kids through our entire relationship- it was never just the two of us. So it's tough to find time to spend alone to just enjoy each others company which I am finding is necessary.

We don't see eye to eye about personal time. That is really difficult to deal with. I hate that he uses his free time to play video games instead of spending it with me and the kids. He hates that I expect him to use his free time the way I think it should be done. He hates that I don't use my free time to clean!
Nana to Seven Cutiepies Mar 19, 2009, 4:51pm EDT
The hardest part in our relationship is his family/my family. We both have grown children from a previous marriage. My children and family treat him as a family member. To his family and children I am simply his wife, not family. Too many details to explain but it is hard to feel like an outsider or acquaintance or to be told something is none of my business when they are discussing "family" matters.
Barb (Gather Site Ferret) Carlson Mar 19, 2009, 5:06pm EDT
The hardest part in my relationship is reconciling what he wants with what I want. Often, our wants are mutually exclusive, leaving one of us having to "give up" something, never a good thing.
Debra M. Mar 19, 2009, 5:51pm EDT
I think the hardest part is resolving problems.
How we disagree and how we argue can lead to all sorts of erosions of feelings and added resentments. When destructive methods of arguing are used, the couple ends up feeling battered, and distrustful. If one person gives in (under the guise of compromise) additional resentment is fostered and so can a loss of self-esteem. I guess I put a lot more thought to this than I thought, LOL, since I think I sound like a book.
Debby C. Mar 19, 2009, 5:59pm EDT
ummm Clive Owens, nummy!
Christina L. Mar 19, 2009, 6:09pm EDT
I would say the toughest part of our marriage is living under the burden of not having enough money and worrying about paying bills every month. It's very stressful for us and leads to some arguments over money, but we stick together through the good times and the bad. We've been married for 10 years this year and have been through a lot of tough times together. It is also difficult at times to put the other person first in a relationship. We both tend to be stubborn and selfish at times, and part of love is putting your other half before yourself and also learning to compromise on things you disagree on. The main thing is to love and respect each other and put God first in the relationship, and you can survive anything together.
Susan B. Mar 19, 2009, 6:12pm EDT
the toughest part of a relationship? dealing with the guilt when I haven't held up my half of the bargain. When I let myself get too tired to care or listen or respond with empathy.
Sheila P. Mar 19, 2009, 6:23pm EDT
Trust. Mainly because of my ex, while we were married he fooled around. Even with my best friend (whom is not my best friend no longer). The one I am with now (and have been for 6 years), his ex wife calls him on his cell (even though the young man is 21 now). She divorced him, but now she wants him back. The Christmas card reads from your family here, you will always know you have a home here. Yeah trust is hard.
Mary G. Mar 19, 2009, 6:48pm EDT
I think the hardest problem we have always had is the rest of our families. My husband and I are from very different backgrounds and which holidays are celebrated are different. We had a hard time telling our families that we will decide which holidays to celebrate and where we would celebrate them. My answer is communication and its not easy to tell your family that you will be having new traditions and some holidays will no longer be celebrated.

Our children picked their own religions and neither selected the same one. Its important to communicate and allow people to make their own decisions and give them support. I think how my husband and I viewed our different religions really helped up be a stronger couple. We have been together over 30 years.
Samantha V. Mar 19, 2009, 7:08pm EDT
Being able to communicate effectively, or being able to trust enough to be able to communicate.
Nora C. Mar 19, 2009, 7:13pm EDT
I think trust is the most important part of a relationship, but the hardest part is communication. Right now my husband and I are working conflicting schedules because it is what we have to do to make ends meet. It really makes communication hard simply because we don't see each other all that much. Boy would a night out together (like at a movie for instance) help!
kane C. Mar 19, 2009, 7:30pm EDT
the toughest part of being in a relationship is figuring out what to do when we are bored out of our mind.
Kassie S. Mar 19, 2009, 8:05pm EDT
Finding someone who "gets me" and is willing to work on a relationship.
Angela A. Mar 19, 2009, 8:23pm EDT
Not getting enough help when you're feeling stressed.
When one of the partners in the relationship is feeling ill, it makes everyone else cranky.
April H. Mar 19, 2009, 8:24pm EDT
The toughest part for my husband and I is juggling the balancing act of attending to the kids, our parents and our personal needs while still nurturing our marriage.
Mary M. Mar 19, 2009, 9:08pm EDT
Finding enough time to work on my hubby and me's relationship as a couple, amidst a crazy household with five kids! That is the toughest thing by far. A babysitter of 5 is almost laughable, unless Grandma steps in for a rare volunteering opportunity. I find it hardest to balance my time and energy to the point that I am giving my husband enough of myself, because I am so often very busy trying to keep up with the kids, my job, the bills, the housework, etc. We do work on these together but with opposite work schedules that gets difficult too so it takes more energy out of one person to do these tasks.
Lana B. Mar 19, 2009, 10:58pm EDT
Relationships in general, or THE relationship? Since I don't have one of the latter, I'll answer the former.

The hardest bit of relationships for me is keeping open, honest communication - whether it be with friends, with family, with my daughter. Knowing when to talk, when to listen, when to be completely honest, when to keep the "you're a stupid idiot" opinion to myself, when to just back off and leave somebody some space - all those are crucial to open, honest communication and keeping relationships healthy.
Phyllis R. Mar 19, 2009, 11:40pm EDT
Having been married over 28 years the toughest part for me: Taking my husband for granted!!! For the past several years I find myself taking my husband for granted and it bothers me very badly. I made a vow to myself I would not do this but there are times I know that I do. I guess being together for 31 years and married for 28 of those years you just get complacent ....you know (or sometimes you think you know) they will always be here but that is not true. One blink, in a split second....everything can change. I never want to take him or my marriage for granted......I never want to have regrets if he dies before I do!! I strive to show my love and gratitude for him everyday!!
Monica Kennedy Mar 19, 2009, 11:41pm EDT
The hardest part about a relationship is keeping the romance alive and not settling into roles.
Paul G. Mar 20, 2009, 12:24am EDT
No question--the hardest part is maintaining the illusion that I am infallable.
Paul G. Mar 20, 2009, 12:25am EDT
Especially when I do something like misspell "infallible".
Carolann F. Mar 20, 2009, 1:41am EDT
I think the hardest part of the relationship is learning what makes your partner tick. Some people love to cuddle together while watching TV, while the other partner may feel you are in their personal space One may love to get little gifts that say "I love you" while the other partner thinks that making a special effort to make their favorite meal says "I love you". Once we figure out what things truely say "I love you" to our partner than communication becomes much easier. If you know your partner well, then you will realize that during an argument one partner may rant and rave and will hopefully understand that their partners way of dealing with conflict is to be quiet while they think it through. Giving each other the space and permission to be who they really are goes a long way in sticking together through the good times as well as the bad. It's hard to get to this point, but it is well worth it.
Jennifer O. Mar 20, 2009, 3:43am EDT
I think communication is the toughest part of any relationship. So much gets lost because we assume that the other person understands things the way that we do and, very often, they don't.
Esther IS Flesh and Blood S. Mar 20, 2009, 3:55am EDT
I do believe that the roughest part of a relationship is trust. I've been in this relationship for over eight years and going through times and periods of clear deceit are very difficult to overcome. Only with acceptance and understanding can one truly overcome these difficult obstacles. I know, I'm still fighting away to keep this relationship going.
carolyn b. Mar 20, 2009, 8:18am EDT
The toughest part for me is communication, my husband is a very quiet person and he holds things in a lot and if he's really tired, he just shuts down all together.
Samantha H. Mar 20, 2009, 8:57am EDT
Communication, I think. It's the whole "men are from mars" issue. He says something, I think he means something else. So I say something back and he thinks I mean something other than what I really mean by it. And it is a big mess from there. We understand how and why it happens. It's just difficult to get around it. We both have pretty strong tempers and we're stubborn.
Member Photog Mar 20, 2009, 9:28am EDT
keeping it real between the two of you....meaning that you don't play games,are not devious and that you don't cheat because you believe in fidelity...

when either partner thinks it is okay behavior to cheat,then what is the point of being in a committed relationship?....the old "what she doesn't know about won't hurt her" is not only total bull,but in my opinion says that person doesn't have a clue about cherishing another....that they are deceiving themselves as well as their partner...

fan of both actors and would be cool to see this movie,but like many these days,i can't afford such luxuries....

cheers, gayle
Lesli B. Mar 20, 2009, 11:18am EDT
I can sum it up in one word. TRUST!
Joan D. Mar 20, 2009, 12:20pm EDT
The toughest part of a relationship is realizing that 'what you see is what you get..' No magic wand will change a persons character, no potion will change the core values. I assume we're talking 'grown up' relationships, 2 people choosing to blend lives, with all their flaw & faults humans neatly bundled in their baggage.. :)
Trish A. Mar 20, 2009, 12:37pm EDT
I think the toughest part of a relationship is honoring the creativity of the other person while honoring your own creativity. My husband and I are both creatives and when we start a project we both have different ways of creating. Sometimes we are actually saying the same thing we just have different ways of expressing it. So maybe it's not the creativity but communication.
Elizabeth V. Mar 20, 2009, 12:44pm EDT
Trust isn't tough.

It's tough, possible but tough, to be married to a man with children not your own. I thought for a long timie that I had a problem, that others didn't act like it was hard. Then I heard Nancy Reagan interviewed once when she was asked, "What's the hardest part of being married to the President?"

I expected something like entertaining foreign dignitaries. No. She answered, "The hardest part was that he had children other than our children."

I loved Nancy Reagan for saying that.
Paula H. Mar 20, 2009, 1:04pm EDT
I've been married for almost 32 years - and the hardest part of a relationship is keeping your identity. A good part of those years I was mom and I think it pretty well defines you for a long while. After my kids grew up, left home for college and got married, I had to redefine myself and it was hard. I am back in school going for a degree I put off while I was raising boys and my biggest cheerleader is my husband. It's hard on him because we like spending time together - but this is something I needed to do for me.

I now have one grandson and another on the way - and I am relishing the "Grandma" role but I don't plan on losing myself this time around.
La Lady Lisa Westerfield Mar 20, 2009, 1:41pm EDT
Sharing the remote.
Jamison Fradisle Mar 20, 2009, 2:48pm EDT
The hardest thing is treating each other with trust, love, and respect.
natosha miller Mar 20, 2009, 3:25pm EDT
the toughest for me is to actually commit to having someone who likes different interests, then I. we seem to have so much in common but its hard to get my guy to finally do few things I like. I go to games and watch things he loves, but its hard for me to say can we please do something that is my favorite. I try to lead clues but so far its been just the same, soon i'm hoping he'll realize it, :)
CC Miranda the artrat (or am i?) Mar 20, 2009, 4:21pm EDT
the toughest part of a relationship for me is trying not to bring past relationship issues into the current one. sometimes a small look or comment will dredge up old issues from a former relationship and cause a problem that should never have been.
Laura C. Mar 20, 2009, 6:18pm EDT
For me it's trust, stemming from my former husband and several other past "loves" cheating on me or lying to me in general. I wouldn't just say it's a problem with only trusting the men I become involved with, but also trusting myself to make better choices in the men I choose to give my heart to.
Sherry W. Mar 20, 2009, 6:25pm EDT
The toughest part... probably being patient when it comes to dealing with my husband's faults. He doesn't have a lot of them, but they tend to annoy me much too easily.
Marie C. Mar 20, 2009, 8:08pm EDT
I think it startes with trust and it goes from there. I've been with the same man for 22 years of my life and thank God i can trust him.
Kate B. Mar 20, 2009, 9:05pm EDT
The toughest part of a relationship for me, by far, is trust. Being able to trust a partner to accept me for me - both the good *and* the bad - is extremely difficult for me. I always feel like I have to turn cartwheels (metaphorically) to keep a partner's interest, rather than just relax and be myself around him.
norene t. Mar 20, 2009, 9:39pm EDT
The Duplicity of any relationship relies on trust! Like Michael Clayton says to Doloris Claiborne, " The truth can be adjusted". She also relies on her freind , Bourne whos True Identity is a secret of Supremacy, who says " NO Trust leads straight to Armageddon!"
I agree with them!
Brook Sica Mar 21, 2009, 3:52am EDT
It has to be the Sex, I have little to no sex drive, and unfortunately it causes problems between Other than That I am extremely happy in my relationship
Daniella C. Mar 21, 2009, 9:58am EDT
I have to be honest there really is no toughest part of being in a relationship at least with me and my husband. I think our secret (20yrs) is that we don't take each other so serious and we constantly make each other laugh. Sure we have disagreements just like anybody else but we hardly ever full out argue I think I can count the number of times on one hand. We truely respect each other and are loyal to each other which is another thing on top of it. Sure you can tell someone that you love them that is a easy word to pass around but are you loyal would you stand by that person in their time of need. Example if they lost their job and couldn't find another for a real long time or they decided to go back to school or they had some hairbrain idea on stuffing envelopes for money, etc. No matter what you must stand with your partner that is love that is how you stay in a relationship for a long time.
Nastacia M. Mar 21, 2009, 2:58pm EDT
The hardest part of a relationship for me is compromise. I am pretty set in my ways and it is hard for me to bend...probably why I am still single:)
Aislin 8 ) Mar 21, 2009, 3:53pm EDT
I value my independence- being able to go anywhere at a moment's notice, not having to 'check in' with someone, not having to compromise my desires, etc... For myself, the toughest part of all relationships are giving up some of my independence. Don't get me wrong- I can (and do) compromise. Going with a friend to see a movie I do not want to see.. or going out to a pub and being the designated driver.. Little things like that do not bother me. It's more the big things that make being in a relationship hard for me. It's when I can no longer just 'get up and go'- that is where the going gets tough for me. When things need to be 'talked' about and 'decided upon'. That is when I just want to turn and run!
Infinity M. Mar 22, 2009, 5:32am EDT
i feel bad 4 u Jo N. - perhaps they r depressed - it makes me wonder y anyone would sacrifice the success of their marriage 4 video/computer games. I agree w/ Aislin - I like 2 feel like im in charge of my life - although i don't mind compromising, but the point is 2 marry someone who has the same goals/dreams, although goals/dreams can change.

The hardest thing 4 me in a relationship is loyalty. if someone breaks that i really can't deal w/ it. it would prolly take a lot of counseling 2 get past a serious breach in loyalty
Stacey *Mamasaid* D. Mar 22, 2009, 8:54am EDT
Until I met my hubby, my biggest problems in relationships was trust. I believe in total honesty. Without the truth, you have nothing and that's one of the reasons why my first marriage broke up.

That was also my hubby's biggest problem in relationships. I think we both had our trust violated so many times we feel secure we won't do it to each other. We also keep plenty of humor and smiles in our relationship (we started as friends which always helps) so in this relationship, thankfully we have no major struggles. I think our biggest problem is finding some alone time (and money) to spend together with five kids, nine grandkids and a big family. A night at the movies would give us some much-needed time out by ourselves :)
colleen m. Mar 22, 2009, 1:03pm EDT
Its always about trust. Finding out who the other person REALLY is. People hide a lot before they marry you.
Margarita Viera Mar 23, 2009, 12:35am EDT
It's more than trust! I think the toughest part is getting to know a person well. It takes time, patience, open communication, trust, honesty, mutual respect, loyalty, and committment to maintain a healthy long term relationship! This all must be mutual!
Kimber L. Mar 23, 2009, 10:10am EDT
I think the hardest part of a relationship for me is to remember that I am not the center of the universe and I do not get to have everything my way all the time! LOL I have to remember to compromise and share! LOL
Terry F. Mar 23, 2009, 1:57pm EDT
The hardest part of a relationship for me, is when the woman I am with asks "so what do you do". I tell her I am on disability and that I am on a fixed income. The disability comes from my three all expense paid trips to Vietnam. When she hears the word "fixed income" the lights shut down in her eyes....
Heather E. Mar 23, 2009, 2:30pm EDT
The hardest part of a relationship is communication. It is a key factor into how everything else pans out. Honestly & Loyalty have to come after communication. Without it, there is no relationship. Simple misunderstandings in communication can break up a really happy home and that is why it is so important to stay strong and encourage one another to try to learn something new about each other..even after 10, 15 or even 30 years of marriage. There is always something new to learn.
Belle G. Mar 23, 2009, 4:44pm EDT
The toughest part of a relationship - that's easy -- it's reactng the right way when I get angry at him, the right way being not getting all emotional and handling the situation as though I were dealing with a young child who simply didn't understand!!!!
diana parsons Mar 23, 2009, 6:24pm EDT
the hardest part for me would be keeping my people pleasing skills in check, so i dont turn myself into the personal servant of the one i love. i'm so good at being the martyr that i forget why i'm there in the first place ;)
Samantha C. Mar 23, 2009, 7:01pm EDT
The toughest part for me is communication... sometimes I am a terrible communicator! Sometimes it blows up in my face... most of the time though since my DH is so wonderful he just gets me...
Gina M. Mar 23, 2009, 8:42pm EDT
The toughest part for me has been my extreme independence. No matter how much I know men like feeling needed, I just can't "need" a man. I have been supporting myself since I was 17 and I have done pretty well for myself and if I need something, I just take care of it myself. I don't like feeling needy.
Gail O. Mar 23, 2009, 8:45pm EDT
The toughest part is keeping "I" and "we" separate. We were raised on the romantic notion of two becoming one, but that's not only unrealistic it's bad for both parties. No one should have to whittle off parts of themselves in order to please another. Accept each other and treasure the differences.
Chloe Berryman Mar 23, 2009, 10:12pm EDT
The toughest part for me, is trust. It's not my partner's fault, I am just very fragile and find it hard to trust anyone...so I go through my life acting.
Ms. Meacham: Money Maven Mar 24, 2009, 12:18am EDT
RE: what is the toughest part of a relationship for you?

In answer to your question, I think I'm not alone in saying it would have to be all of the above. ; ) Great tips on keeping the romance alive as well!
katie williams Mar 24, 2009, 12:43am EDT
Communication; is the big issue for us. It seems like there always is pieces missing, or the other one doesn't always hear what the other one is saying.
Cecilia Lee Mar 24, 2009, 2:23am EDT
After being together for over 16 years, the toughest part is keeping the romance and excitement alive. Other than that, my husband and I have a fantastic relationship because we give each other space, while still being supportive and we don't demand much from each other.
gina h. Mar 24, 2009, 4:28am EDT
The hardest part of a relationship is continuing to honor each other and adore each other, maintaining the separateness. Right now, we live apart, and he's very good at leaving his problems at home (better than I am), but I wonder what it will be like one day when we ARE at home.... how will we maintain the freshness of our relationship? How will we maintain the sweetness of our reunions when we are waking up to each other's morning breath?
Connie C. Mar 24, 2009, 9:09am EDT
what is the toughest part of a relationship for you?

I have not problem with trust issues. I turst him completely. I think the hardest part of a relationship for me is keeping it from getting boring. After30 plus years we can even finish each others sentances. Our daughters say we can talk to each other with our eyes. Sometimes it can get boring and we have to spice things up a bit. We have found that a date a week helps with this though
Kjersti W. Mar 24, 2009, 9:12am EDT
The toughest part of a relationship for me is starting one. I am not able to interact with others in person unless they start the conversation and even then I am not very social/responsive due to never really being treated for selective mutism when I was a kid and not even knowing I was diagnosed with it when I was 5 until a year ago. It also might make it hard to keep a relationship, but I would not know because I have never been able to start one.
Kelly Hutchings Mar 24, 2009, 9:39am EDT
I believe that the hardest part of a GOOD relationship is ... communication! My husband & I have been married for 17 years, he works days & I work evenings, so we really don't get to truly talk to each other for long, as we have 3 children ( 6, 10 & 15). I try to make "mental notes" of what I want to share with him, but alot of times I forget. I find that with him, he will share things with his co-workers & then later on, he'll assume that he told me & he'll get upset when I don't have a clue of what he's talking about! We've had many conversations in the middle of the night, just because I needed him to know something... without the children hearing!!! As far as I'm concerned, we're still climbing the inevitable "learning curve" & we'll start sliding down it when we become deaf... then I guess there's always sign language. My husband's already familiar with "Talk to the Hand", from my teenage daughter... lol