by Carol P.

Member since:
April 26, 2007

My Precious Dustin

August 28, 2007 01:06 PM EDT (Updated: May 30, 2008 10:40 AM EDT)

views: 179 | rating: 10/10 (31 votes) | comments: 49

My Precious Dustin

~Written from the depths of my broken heart

I am lucky to have borne you,
I am richer for having shared your dreams;
I am sadder but stronger for having lost you.

When you chose to leave this cruel world, on that cold December day,

you left a gaping hole in my heart that can never be filled,

But I forgive you, how could I not, what else can I say?

I only wish my never ending love for you would have been enough for you to stay.

Peace. Everlasting peace. The one thing I couldn't give you.

And that's the one thing you needed the most.

Please know my Buddy that I will always love you.....

Until we meet again, All of my love goes with you,

Oh..send me some butterflies every chance you get,

just so I know you don't forget.

You know I will always be looking for signs from above,

and I will know they are pieces of you and your love.

Rest in peace my Buddy and I will try to do the same,

I will always speak your name....your precious name.

Remember, your love will never leave my heart,

for it has been there right from the start.

As you wrote to me on that cold December day....

"I will see you when I see you",

I cannot wait for that very special day,

Until then, memories will have to suffice,

oh the things mothers must sacrifice.

Loving you with everything I have left, Mom

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Tags: grief, loss of child, peace, hope, depression, ptsd, death, suicide survivor

To Groups: *In Memory of......*, *Inspiration Station*, *Keepsakes*, *Loving You*, A Memorial To You, A Simple Tribute, A Woman's life, Angels Among Us, Angel Network, Bereavement, Dear Precious Child, I still Love You, Deep Thinking and Meanings, Did you ever know that you're my hero?, God Shaped Hole in the Heart, Heaven Sent, Heartbreak Hotel, I Am Grateful, I Threw In The Towel, But God Threw It Back, I Want To Write My Memoirs, important things in our lives, Left Behind by Suicide, Life, Life Issues, Our Past - Memories, photos, and mementos of days gone by, Our Soul Journey, PEACE CULTURE, Pains and Gains, Our Dreams At Night (Post Any thing), Psychology in Life, PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Road Not Taken, Sweet Memories, The Circle of Life, Thoughts on God, To Know Me Is to Love Me, Unsent Letters, ~~Tributes...~~

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Comments: 49

Carol Lloyd Aug 28, 2007, 1:09pm EDT

I am crying now that is beautiful........

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Bridget ♥ Aug 28, 2007, 1:10pm EDT

My eyes are filled with tears!

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Carol P. Aug 28, 2007, 1:16pm EDT

You know, the sad part of it is that I sat down and started typing. The words just came out.

Thank you for taking the time to read. It means more than you know.

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Kristen D. Aug 28, 2007, 1:26pm EDT

Carol that is so sad, and still so beautiful.....

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Carol P. Aug 28, 2007, 1:27pm EDT

Thank you for reading Kristen.

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Mary Beth Magee Aug 28, 2007, 1:28pm EDT

Beautiful tribute, even through the pain.

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Bonnie S. Aug 28, 2007, 1:28pm EDT

My eyes are filled with tears also, that was very good but sad.

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Margy O. Aug 28, 2007, 1:40pm EDT

Thank you for sharing your deepest feelings with us. I hope the writing of this heartfelt piece can bring you some ease. Keep thinking about the good times. I think I can say that you expressed your pain in a beautiful way.

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marie m. Aug 28, 2007, 1:44pm EDT

What a wonderful tribute. I sincerely hope these beautiful articles you've posted,bring you some measure of comfort and peace. Through your pain,you've been able to share and express the enormous love you have for your son. Any of us,who've lived in his world for any length of time, would pray for that that "very special day" you speak about to come very soon. In my opinion, enough is enough.

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Tara R. Aug 28, 2007, 2:03pm EDT

A beautiful and very sad poem, Carol. It is amazing how much love fills our hearts over those that are no longer with us today. It is that love, that wonderful warm feeling we hold on to, that fills the holes that are created when we lose someone. God bless!

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KRIS B. Aug 28, 2007, 2:29pm EDT

Carol,
We never get that final goodbye that we always want. But, I know he heard this as you were writing it. I can feel the love you have for Dustin and always will and it did'nt matter you gave him everything he needed love, and knowing you were and still will be here for him. My heart is aching for you and he knows that you are looking for somehing so that you know he is still around........But trust me he is an always will be. That is the most bueatiflul peice of writing and remembrance, Carol you are an amazing woman!!!!!!! Kris Baker

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Barb (Gather Site Ferret) Carlson Aug 28, 2007, 2:50pm EDT

Very sad but well done.

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Deb J. Aug 28, 2007, 3:34pm EDT

So very, very sorry Carol!! I lost an 8 yr old nephew, but I can't even imagine "a Child of my own". My heart goes out to you!!! God bless until you see your Buddy again!!

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Carol P. Aug 28, 2007, 4:14pm EDT

You guys are making me cry with your comments.

It amazes me the response I get when I post one of my heartfelt poems. You will never know how much you all mean to me. I don't even get this support from my family.

I am so thankful to my dear friend Trudy P who referred me to Gather.

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Joe W. Aug 28, 2007, 4:23pm EDT

Thank you - you touch hearts by letting your heart flow through your words. May God hold you & heal you.

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Carol P. Aug 28, 2007, 5:33pm EDT

Thank you Joe.

Tinch, The comments are helping me more than you know.

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Trudy P. Aug 28, 2007, 6:14pm EDT

Carol what a beautiful and loving tribute to your Dustin. I know our 2 Dustin's are in Heaven together. Yesterday was the 4th anniversary of the suicide of my Dustin. We Morn together for the loss of our sons. I was beginning to worry about you, because I hadn't heard from you. If I hadn't seen you here or heard from you I was going to call you soon to make sure everything was OK at your house.

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Anita R. Aug 28, 2007, 10:27pm EDT

Carol - my heart goes out to you again, you have a way of conveying your pain that truly touches me and I always wish I could somehow console you in your pain. I pray that your darling Dustin sends you many butterflies, to give you a smile, and that you feel his presence every day of your life. Love transends all barriers, may it bring you the peace you so deserve.

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Elsie Duggan Aug 30, 2007, 3:06am EDT

Carol, I think this is a wonderful poem tribute to your Son Dustin, I am sure he feels your love, I know your pain, and it is great, but we must be strong to bear it, I know you and Trudy both lost your sons, and that is so sad, perhaps our children know we are corresponding and in heaven they are smiling on us, I hope so. Bless you and take care Carol.

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Carol P. Aug 30, 2007, 9:22am EDT

You are so kind Elsie, and Anita.

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Donald M. Aug 30, 2007, 1:09pm EDT

That was beautiful . A wonderful tribute to Dustin. How old was your child? I am so sorry for your loss. The article had me in tears. I would also like to thank you for you prayers extended to my daughter,s extended family.

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Carol P. Aug 30, 2007, 5:53pm EDT

Donald, He was only 16.

You are most welcome for the prayers. Any time, my friend.

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Patti M. Aug 31, 2007, 7:35pm EDT

What a wonderful tribute to a dear youg man. I'm having trouble seeing through the tears. Carol we almost lost our son this time last year. I will pray for you.

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Carol P. Sep 8, 2007, 5:36pm EDT

Thank you so much Patti. Hug him every chance you get.

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Kelly M. Oct 4, 2007, 1:06am EDT

That is beautiful.

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NANCY K. Oct 11, 2007, 4:49pm EDT

Hi, so sorry to hear of your loss. He was a beautiful boy.
I lost my 13 yr old sister in 2004. She lived with me part time, so she was kind of like a daughter, but I just couldn't save her. It breaks my heart every day, but God will help us use these experiences to help others. I know someday I will help many children.

God bless,

nancy

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Carol P. Oct 11, 2007, 5:13pm EDT

Thank you Nancy.

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guy arneson Oct 22, 2007, 2:03pm EDT

I'm so sorry for you Carol.

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Carol P. Oct 22, 2007, 2:08pm EDT

Thank you Guy for taking the time to visit. May you find peace as well.

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Kathy D. Oct 25, 2007, 8:17pm EDT

Carol, this is so sad. It is a lovely tribute though.

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Carol P. Nov 28, 2007, 3:53pm EST

Thank you Kathy.

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Carol P. Jan 22, 2008, 1:45pm EST

I know it's late, but thank you Raven.

Michelle, Thank you and it hurts to hear about another suicide.

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Peg Doak May 2, 2008, 9:10pm EDT

I was directed here by something I wrote. I am overwhelmed with your loss and how it came. I am sorry, and I am blessed to know such a brilliant woman

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Carol P. May 6, 2008, 6:21pm EDT

Thank you Peg.

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Carol P. May 6, 2008, 6:22pm EDT

Myspace Comments @ 123glitter.com

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Mandi -Watch where the chalk-white arrows go. To the place where the sidewalk ends. S.S. May 19, 2008, 4:19pm EDT

I am so sorry for your loss. I can not even imagine how hard it has been for you.

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flit . May 20, 2008, 5:41pm EDT

That is so very very sad...I am so sorry for your loss Thank you for contributing to Gather Writing Essentials Tuesday Spotlight

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Carol P. May 21, 2008, 4:55pm EDT

Mandi and Flit, Thank you so much for your comments.

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Sammie B. May 30, 2008, 9:55am EDT

You made me cry. That is absolutely beautiful. I'm so sorry for your loss and I can't imagine the pain you're going through. -hugs-

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Carol P. May 30, 2008, 10:31am EDT

Thanks Sammie.

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Diane S. Jun 11, 2008, 11:05pm EDT

that is so awesome

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necee t. Aug 19, 2008, 2:14pm EDT

oh Carol... what a beautiful letter... words cannot express the sadness...
God bless you my friend... may you find the peace you need to go on...
love and hugs always...

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Carol P. Aug 19, 2008, 3:29pm EDT

Thank you Necee. I am trying..every day to find peace and a purpose.

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Terry Collett Aug 19, 2008, 4:10pm EDT

Sincerely felt & written.

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Carol P. Aug 19, 2008, 4:14pm EDT

Thank you Terry. It came from the depths of my broken heart.

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.* Sandi * Aug 21, 2008, 4:43am EDT

how moving, I am tearing as I read this
I am so sorry for your loss

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M & M. Aug 21, 2008, 6:22pm EDT

This was so emotional and moving. I know it came from the depths of a broken heart, or you could not have stired so many of us. I am so sorry that you had to experience this though. God bless you my dear friend.

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