Mental Illness

  Most people don't have to live with mental illness. They carry on

with their normal lives. With the occasional depression over

the normal day to day stressful events, or a loss of a friend, family member,

or loved one.These are completely normal reasons for depression.

Fortunately these people don't have a clue what it is like to live everyday

with an illness that controlls the way they feel, think, and react to normal

situations.

Unfortunately  the tens of thousands who suffer from a mental ilness,

do not have the luxury of a normal day. It takes alot of strength

to face the fact that they are ill and need to devote themselves to getting

the proper help. Most people suffer from differant types of depression,

which is usually treated with therapy and anti-depressants. Yet an

overwhelming number of people still suffer.

I don't believe there is a cure for mental illness, just treatment. Although

many people may feel relieved with medications and therapy, it is a life

long struggle just like any other chronic health disease and must be

treated the same.

There are several types of mental illness, which I myself suffer from

several, mostly due to inheritance and childhood trauma. For instance

Bi-Polar disorder a very common disorder, that affects your emotions,

the way you handle certain situations, basically mood swings, and deep

depression that can get out of control. Bi-Polar can be treated with

mood stabilzers and anti-psychotics.

I am in control of my bi-polar with the occasional slip ups. I also suffer from

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Agoraphobia,extreme anxiety, panic

attacks,and the most complex disorder of all D.I.D." Dissociative Idenity disorder",

which in the past was called "Multiple Personality Disorder".

Now everyone reading this must think I am really crazy! It is a very hard life

to live, and there has been several times I wanted to give up. I was very

suicidal for a while when I gave up on my treatment. I am very lucky to be alive

to talk about it, and be here for my husband and children, after coming so close

to death, I was determined to get the help I needed and stop living in denial.

It was time to face my problems and get my chilhood abusers out of my life.

My father molested me, beat me from a very young age until I was about 14,

he also molested my friends.We were terrified of him. All I wanted to do was forget,

and that is what I did, I told myself it didn't happen, over and over. Then I moved in

with my mother, and did the typical teenage rebellion. I stayed in trouble alot, fought

alot,I was a very angry kid, because nobody protected me. When I was 16 I had a baby

girl, she saved my life.

Facing mental illness and all that comes with it, I have been a very good mother to

my children. I do have regret's, and I can't remember very well due to the D.I.D. My personalities

do alter, and most of the time I have no recollection of what I did or said, movies I watched,

and much more.The alters are never the same, there are too many to keep tract of all of them. My

 family has learned about the disorder and recognizing when I am switching.They are great, and

support me 100%..It may take years of therapy to overcome D.I.D.

As far as the rest of the mental illness, one day at a time, and I am learning to live with it.