Preschool and the very young child

Did you know that preschool is sexy?

It's a strange comment to make, I know, but from what I can tell lately, it's totally the truth. It's so sexy, in fact, that many parents are jumping the gun and enrolling their little Suzys and Joeys while they're still toddling around in size three diapers.

A few years ago, skipping that introductory year (or three) was no big deal: After all, preschool wasn't a necessity - the popular saying 'everything I need to know I learned in kindergarten' still rang true. Stay-at-home moms and daycare providers were confident in their roles as earliest educators. Rolling out Play Doh, singing songs and running amok at the park were suitable prerequisites for the rigors of kindergarten.

But sadly, this is no longer the case. In my neck of the woods, it's become common knowledge that kindergarten is 'the new first grade', and there's a distinct pressure to keep up, practically from the second the umbilical cord is cut. In my mid-sized, moderately affluent city, many parents sign their children up for preschool classes at the tender age of just a year and a half. The children are nowhere near potty trained, speak only a few intelligible words and are certainly not ready to learn the three Rs, yet there they are, showing up bright and early for school every other day.

So, what's the rush? Why DO we put two year olds in preschool classes? I wonder at times if it's merely a glamorous substitute for daycare. Perhaps it's a chance for the prototypical stay-at-home mom to have a few hours' respite from the daily grind of childrearing. As the stay-at-home mom to a two year old and an infant, I can understand both of these rationales. No problem! Or, and this is where the true cynic in me roars to life, perhaps is it a symptom of a greater problem that clings to the underbelly of today's society.

I get it - preschool is PREschool; it's all about preparedness and being ready for what comes next.

But, is putting a two year old in a preschool class simply feeding our need for more, more, more - more success, more money, more awards, more everything? Does it send the indelible message that getting - and staying - ahead is the secret to lifetime happiness? Is it creating and feeding decidedly unhealthy competitive drives in kids too young to understand the definition of the word? The way I see it, it certainly can do these things. Exposing a young child to his peers is a good thing, really - I'm certainly not an advocate of living in a box. Those early interactions aid in the development of social and problem solving skills. And of course it's good for him to experience life without mom or Miss Pam watching his every move now and again.

But I'm not convinced that preschool for two year olds is the best place for those things to happen. Firstly, there are gross inequities in the preschool options available to the general population. Although Georgia and Florida offer free classes to all four year olds and other states offer free or reduced-cost programs to underpriviledged young ones, they are in the decided minority, and there are many families who simply cannot afford a private school. Some may say that a less well-regarded preschool is better than no preschool at all, but I don't agree. After all, the teacher is a role model, the other students will be emulated, and the values of the other parents will come into play.

Secondly, one can never be sure that the teacher in the classroom is as qualified as she ought to be, since there are no mandated Federal standards for preschool. While I'm confident that most teachers out there are competent and well-meaning, I'm not willing to bank my child's earliest educational experience and ongoing emotional development on that being the case. I'm also not sold on the notion that sitting in a classroom with a potentially underqualified teacher and 10 other youngsters for 3 hours a day will teach my child anything more than I can teach her through playgroup activities, music lessons and daily interactions with the world around us. Of course I could be wrong about that, but it's my gut feeling.

Finally, early preschool suggests that it's possible for a two year old to be lagging behind his peers. I've overheard actual conversations between mothers of preschoolers in my community that went something along these lines:

Mom one: Oh, I enrolled Petey in the two year old class at St. Ann's. I'm worried that he's not singing the alphabet song as well as he should be. And he's only counting to ten.

Awkward silence.

Mom two: Oh, that's a good school. He'll catch up in no time.

What?! Behind at age two? Because he can't sing his ABCs and count? Please! Children develop at different rates. Just because he can't sing a song doesn't mean that he's an idiot, or that he needs remedial assistance. He may be an exceptional climber, colorer or talker who just happens to have an average memory. And honestly, there's nothing wrong with being average. Most of us are average.

All of that aside, here's my major concern: If we're putting our children in school at age two, does that mean piano lessons start at age three, followed by judo and tae kwan do at four, and oil painting, ballet and girl scouts at five? I can see it getting completely out of control. Before we know it, kindergarten will be the new second grade and all children will be expected to be able to read by the time they enter the classroom for the first time. I'm a strong advocate of kids being kids; of exploring the world by touch, taste, sight, sound; and of teaching by example. And forcing them into a classroom at such a tender age encroaches on my educational ideals.

So anyway, early preschool must be really sexy since so many folks are so into the concept. I don't see it; but then again, I've never been one for pop culture so maybe I've missed the little red wagon.