If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.
Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself.
The canned cat food is already dead. I do not need to kill it by swatting bits of it all over the floor.
If I play 'dead cat on the stairs' while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry, one of these days it will really come true.
If I put a live mouse in my food bowl, I should not expect it to stay there until I get hungry.
It is not a good idea to try to lap up the powdered creamer before it all dissolves in the boiling coffee.
Television and computer screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.
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Comments: 9
Sitting on your person's face at 4AM will not make food appear in your bowl.