If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.
Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself.
The canned cat food is already dead. I do not need to kill it by swatting bits of it all over the floor.
If I play 'dead cat on the stairs' while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry, one of these days it will really come true.
If I put a live mouse in my food bowl, I should not expect it to stay there until I get hungry.
It is not a good idea to try to lap up the powdered creamer before it all dissolves in the boiling coffee.
Television and computer screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.


Comments: 9
Sitting on your person's face at 4AM will not make food appear in your bowl.