What's the feeblest excuse you've ever come up with for missing a deadline? Inspiration for this morning's blog refuses to appear in my head so I thought I'd better come up with a reasonable excuse, which is proving even more arduous than bloody sitting down and writing something.
In reality I've always had a believable explanation at the ready for being slack or forgetful and the kind people in my life tend to be understanding and forgiving which simply encourages me in my slothfulness. So today I am not going to permit that to happen. I will write an article. Scanning my local news site for inspiration as we speak.
Today Anna Bligh becomes Queensland's first female premier. I'm trying very hard to care. In a spirit of sisterhood this should be a great day for women, so ‘yippee.' My excitement at this prospect is mitigated slightly by the fact she was incompetent as Family Services Minister, a bare faced liar as Education Minister and as Treasurer she did nothing about the appalling funding for disability services in this state. But, you go girl.
In other news Prime Minister John Howard has announced he will retire during his next term if he is re-elected. Huh? He's now so unpopular that in order to get people to vote for him he's promising to stand down? I don't know if the lads back at campaign headquarters thought that one through.
Our cricket team's on the ropes over in South Africa where the Twenty20 World Championships are taking place. Zimbabwe beat us overnight. Zimbabwe! They're even worse than Bangladesh and when we lost to them in a one day match over in England a few years ago it was considered such a humiliation that the gloating Poms released a T Shirt saying "Australia can't even beat Bangladesh". I can hear the screen printers warming up for a new one. I'm trying not to let this bother me too much. After all, Twenty20 is a television show, it is not cricket. (But to be believable when you say that you must use a very pompous voice while polishing your monocle..)
There's not much else here that's interesting... Oh, there was a thing about how perfect women scare men off. So that's where I've been going wrong all these years. Good to know.
Okay, that'll have to do. It's not much but (and here comes the excuse..)
I sprained my knee playing internet twister and it's giving me hell.
Ta daaaaaa!
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Comments: 21
And then you give the excuse of spraining your knee in hell - get you back to the burning pits!
Before I get my privates ground in to powder, I would just like to add that the perfect man does not exist either. So there.
You wanna know why women can't find the right men? My morning radio station is running a contest to match up single ladies with tradespeople (builders, plumbers, sparkies and the like) 'cos a poll of lady listeners showed they far preferred (90% in favour) tradies over other guys.
Yet when asked to rate preferred relationship qualities these same ladies overwhemingly selected liking chardonnay, romantic dinners, long walks on the beach, flowers, dancing etc and least liked beer and watching footy.
Now I want to meet the tradie who professes these likings, that wouldn't get thrown down a half-finished elevator shaft...
Ladies, make up your minds!
Now I'm off to play internet limbo. Care to join me?
do these all apply to short story contest entry as well?
Donna thank you. I think your acute observation could be exemplified in the single word: Thatcher.
Magi, I'm guessing you're not buying it then? hehe, hey, I gave it a shot.
"a whole other Oprah" pmsl Faith, have you just coined the expression of our times or what?
Duckie, that sounds like bragging to me.. you lucky lucky gel you.
Thank you Tonia, I liked it. Mind you, as bizarrely improbable as it sounds, I wouldn't mind betting that somewhere in the deepest corners of the web there's a group of desperately sad people devoted to their internet twister tournaments. This is the place for the highly improbable after all.
Pat, I'm flabbered and in some ways gasted by what you've shared. When women express a preference for a chappie based on his employment it always give me the shivers and I struggle to accept it. I'm guessing the poll question read "Would you prefer a dole bludging miserable drug addicted convicted felon OR a tradesperson." (But that casts serious doubt over the ten percent who didn't choose the tradie..)
Let us consider this scenario: "Muriel, deadset, he was lovely. Kind to animals, good with kids, generous and thoughtful, sent my mother flowers when she was sick, quite attractive really if you like the Brad Pitt style, he's very attentive and respectful, great conversationalist with a terrific sense of humour, treats me like a queen and the sex was fantastic. But he was a LIBRARIAN so I dumped him." Does that in any way sound likely to you??????????? (have I mentioned I like a beer occasionally..)
Oh Marianne, you is funning with me surely? lol, I appreciate your empathy for my pretend sore knee anyway ;) That lad of yours sounds just delightful. Does he have a brother?
Orby, Nana Ruby would never dob on me, I still have 'those' photographs and she knows I won't hesitate to use them. Internet limbo? hahaaa. The contest for the most unlikely internet diversion is ON.
Wilma, you poor bugger. I'll shoot off now and read about the whole day. Sounds like it was a shocker.
Flit, thank you for bringing that up. You see, I meant to work on the short story but .. (loud banging noise/smoke pouring from CPU/inexpicable interuption to what I was typi
Jim, that's my next blog I guess ;)
and then, one day, in my THIRTIES, at work, I jumped up and said:
oh! I GET it!
Bart, your thirties, my thirties, everyone's thirties. They're all about touching strangers in intimate ways. Thank the Lawd the forties come and we can settle down to the absolute certainty that it will never happen again.
David, I tried that once and was told it only works for people from the the Plains States. How you qualify there in the west is baffling. Maybe your little green friends put in a good word for you?