by Theresa S.
Member since:
February 17, 2007

I'm Blind....Not Deaf!

June 30, 2007 03:27 PM EDT
views: 68 | comments: 16

                              (Originally posted to my Live Journal on 6/10/07)

To be technical, I'm not totally blind and I'm not legally blind when I'm wearing my contacts. Although I do carry the cane as my vision isn't stellar under any circumstances. Although I loathe the damn thing to no end. I digress... Back to the point.

Since I have had my cane, I have gotten questions, stares, random strangers grabbing my arm trying to be helpful, people pointing at me and in some cases... just laughing like fools. I don't find any of that funny in the least.  However, the most common issue I have is that some people just assume I am deaf...really. It boggles the mind. I'll never understand it.

I was leaving an appointment last week, weaving my way through a crowded waiting room when this happened. I was passing by an old woman and she leans over to her old woman friend and whispers (seemed kind of loud to me) "Ooooh, She's blind!" She said it like I had food on my face and I wasn't supposed to know about it. I passed her by a few steps and then turned back. I said something along the lines of  "I may be blind lady, but I'm not deaf." Her mouth dropped open and her jaw hit the floor.

I don't know if she was more surprised at the fact that I heard what she said or the fact that I called her on it. Of course she had no comment when half the room stopped talking to watch the show. I bet she points at deaf people thinking they can't see her.

It was obvious she had a closed minded double standard because when she came through the door, she was escorting her friend in a wheelchair.
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Comments: 16

flit . Jun 30, 2007, 3:47pm EDT
Too funny...what an idjit

Reminds me of the time a friend and I were practicing sign language on a subway around Christmas time one year.... older couple were sitting behind us talking at length at how inappropriate it was that people like that were allowed out in public ...

just as we were getting off the subway, the woman said "why would they have records in their bag (yeah, I'm old) - don't they know they're deaf?"

I turned around as I was going out the door and said "They're Christmas presents."

Wish I could have stuck around to watch their reaction! LOL
Anne Marie A. Jun 30, 2007, 3:57pm EDT
People are so rude and still discriminate against anyone they perceive to be different than themselves. Good for you saying that out loud!
Linda DeMerle Jun 30, 2007, 7:01pm EDT
Thoughtless, insensitive, disrespectful. People sometimes act like they are invisible. Too bad their mouths aren't.
Theresa S. Jun 30, 2007, 10:52pm EDT
"Your article is sadly fantastic. I wish I could learn from intelligent people around me. You are bold, I admire you for writing all this"

Thank you Daniela. I appreciate that very much.
Theresa S. Jun 30, 2007, 10:56pm EDT
"People sometimes act like they are invisible. Too bad their mouths aren't."

L.L.,
I totally agree. Although I suspect anyone, at least partly in their right mind, would argee with that. ;)
Theresa S. Jun 30, 2007, 10:58pm EDT
LMAO

Flint...I wish I could have seen that! :d
Theresa S. Jun 30, 2007, 11:01pm EDT
Thanks Anne. I really wanted to say something like, "You should know not to whisper so loudly. After all, you have to be a least 100 years old."
Elsie Duggan Jul 1, 2007, 3:33am EDT
I think that is what you should have said Theresa, lol. People are just stupid, rude is not a good enough word. You should put your brain in gear before you open your mouth. As I often told my children, take it from where it comes and let it die there. Thanks for your comment on my Gather Invitation article today, glad to know I am not the only one that does those things. Much appreciated.
Jessie W. Jul 1, 2007, 4:08am EDT
I guess I have a different take on this than other people. If the woman was truly old, there's always the chance that she's lost some of her faculties. Some people age well and have clear minds. Other's age badly and although they can care for themselves and appear to be fine on the outside, they have minds like children. My grandmother is like that. She's 86 and pretty deaf. So, she'll make comments louder than she means to because she can't hear herself and so, doesn't think it is that loud. Also, she is one of those with a mind like a child these days. For instance, she thinks soday is a tummy medicine because it "brings up the gas." She's losing her reasoning facilities at a fast rate. I don't think that older woman in the office had a double standard. I think she just wasn't really thinking straight. I think you handled the situation just right, though. Had you tried to insult her by saying she must be 100, that would have made you as guilty of thoughtlessness as she. There's nothing wrong, however, with letting people know you hear them if they are going to speak out loud. They need to be aware that they don't live in a vacuum.
Corina Carrasco Jul 1, 2007, 7:08am EDT
This actually happens a lot. When my son was in school, he was in the gifted program. One year they did a study of blind people. They learned all about being blind and how society views blind people. They learned about things that help blind people. They visited the school where they train guide dogs. They had blind people come and talk to them. They studied all the statistics. They studied prejudices against blind people.

One of the things that kept coming up is how many people do exactly this. They assume people that are blind are deaf. It is very common.

It doesn't make it right. Just know that it will keep happening. It's just one of those things.
Grems 'gremlin' Jul 1, 2007, 6:49pm EDT
At times it doesn't matter what the different ability is, people believe they have the right to comment.

I have MS and for awhile I had problems walking long distances. I used a handcapped sticker. I found that the more I used it the more people thought it was thier right to offer an opinion. unfortunately, we live in a society where others believe they have the right to judge and ocmment on the needs of others
andrew c. Jul 2, 2007, 12:14am EDT
thanks for sharing
Linda DeMerle Jul 2, 2007, 1:08am EDT
Sara, you are so right. My parish priest and I were talking about the things people say and I was amazed at one example, wondering why people think it's okay to say everything that goes through their heads and he said he thinks it comes from what we see on TV, where everyone is a smart-alec and just let everything hang out. I think he is right, that can be a major element with some: entertainment. God knows it was for my mother, who was the absolute worst smart-alec ever born. Obviously, some is ignorance and some is as Jessie suggested, fading faculties. I, myself, was a hard core smart-alec for a while, but when I was about to send my first child to school, I realized that her sassy mouth was my fault. I had to dial it down and unravel my influence, emphasizing kindness over getting a laugh. It worked to a degree. She is polite to everyone but me, but I deserve it. Kidding. She has nice manners but is outrageously funny and is not allowed to tell me stories when I am eating or drinking as she has almost killed me by making me laugh mid-swallow.
Jennifer H. Aug 14, 2007, 4:04pm EDT
Thank you for sharing. My mom is faced with these kinds of situations all the time. I am too. I was just telling my boyfriend's brother the other night about how I want to show my mom my new apartment. He laughed at me and said I could tell her anything and why would she have to see the place, since she's blind anyway. I am so tired of hearing these insensitive comments from people.
Howard b. Nov 13, 2008, 2:57pm EST
Hi Theresa. my wife went blind after surgery on her good eye. She has lost sight in her right a year ago. due to diabites. she was blind for a month and a half. it was the worst time of my life. I know it was for her.I have found that most people try very hard to be as nice as they can. of course you have some that stare. they must not have ever seen a
blind person before. my wife has nightmares that she is sinking into a sea of darkness.
even now she has them every once in a while. help was offered .some consuling . but it never came about.My wife can see to get around even play cards .if you tell her what we lay down. she is to be fitted with glasses in a couple of weeks. I sure hope this helps.
if you have diabeties , please take care of yourself.
Margy Rydzynski Nov 20, 2008, 8:31pm EST
Funny how insensitive people can be. I have a very dear friend who's blind. She ends up using humor to disarm people and make them more comfortable around her. She's also partially deaf, which she also teases herself and others about. I know it's not easy for her, though.

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