My Life... My Way... Part III

She was livid when she found out I was no longer home she told them to keep me and hung up on them. They made several attempts to get her back on the line and even went to my house to talk to her. She wanted nothing to do with it. They ended up putting me into a group home.  I was there for many months. While I was there my grades improved my self esteem and personality seemed to blossom. I was in a heaven of sorts. I was even named student of the month because of my drastic improvements.  Slowly my court date approached and I wanted so badly to go home but knew things would never change. I threatened to run away if they sent me home and they decided I was to be sent home that weekend. That night I ran away from them and stayed gone for a few days.

Finally I was caught and sent back to the group home.  I told them I would run away again if they sent me home. To keep me from running away they through me in jail. Jail you say well kids jail can't be that bad well it was. It is not like you may be thinking. It was the county jail. The only difference is that we had one small wing to the kids. You could hear all that went on in the different parts of the jail. This was no kid's jail it was jail.  I didn't mind it so much because I knew that I was not going home until at least my next court date.

Finally came time for me to go home.  Mom wanted to leave the boyfriend. She pulled me out of school yet again to move half way across the country to New Jersey. My mother was born and raised there and her family was still there. I though great I will be close to family and things would surely change. 

When we got to New Jersey mom still drank but I didn't notice the drugs. She seemed to have improved.  Slowly they snuck back into our lives.  She started doing heroine and cocaine almost regularly.

Another day another boyfriend for mom.  She moved us right into his home.  Things always start off good with the guys she dates. She seems almost like a new person for awhile but then that falls apart when she introduces them to her lifestyle.

At fourteen I gave my mother an ultimatum she could continue the path she was on and I would be gone or she could get help and straighten out.  She chose to continue.  I pretty much moved in with my Aunt and it became a nightmare because of the fights she would have with my aunt and what not.  She finally decided to get help. She started to receive methadone for her drug use and her drinking slowed down dramatically.

I though life was really turning around for us.  She came to me one day and asked for me to pee in a cup because she wouldn't pass her drug test. I was floored. She swore this was the only time that she ever cheated and that she was sorry and it wouldn't happen again.  I was very reluctant but also didn't want her to fail and be kicked out of the clinic.  I did as she asked. 

One day she came to me and said that she over heard I was pregnant by a friend of mine. We went to the doctor who did a test that said no, I was not.  Mom was not mad but also didn't seem happy about it either. She contacted my ex-boyfriend to confront him about several issues which I was not allowed to be present during.

Turns out she was telling him she was planning on taking the baby away from me if I was pregnant. About one month later my mother was drugged up and got into a major car accident on her way home from work. The collision instantly killed the other driver and almost killed my mother. She was charged with vehicular homicide as well as manslaughter. There I was 15 years old with no family, not even a week later I find out that I am in deed pregnant. Not just a few months but 6 months along.

I was lost, my world upside down and no one there to catch me. I got a place with a roomate and starting working full time at toys r us while going to school at night. My son was born on December 2, 1997.

The rest coming soon!!!