My Life... My Way... Part II

One night when I was eleven I was put into a foster home because she was drunk driving and I happened to be with her and they took her to jail. I met a girl who told me she was sneaking out to a friend's house for a little while and asked if I wanted to go. For whatever reason, I said yes. That night we snuck out and had to hitch hike from the middle of nowhere into the next town. We were picked up by a semi driver. I didn't know what I was getting myself into. The truck driver asked us if we wanted to drive with him up north and that he would get some beers for us. I didn't want any part of it but she was telling me to relax.  I was so scared I didn't know what to do and felt that as long as I had her with me I would be fine. I did whatever she wanted. He got the beers and she drank a few. I fell asleep in the back of the truck. When I woke up we had stopped for gas and to use the restroom. When we came out he was gone. She went up to another truck and asked him if he would give us a ride and he said sure. He said he wasn't leaving till the morning but that he would do it for oral sex. She agreed and I couldn't believe it. Again when she had to get out to use the bathroom I went with her and he was gone as well.

I started to think life couldn't get any worse than it was right now. She found us yet another guy to go with. We got in his truck and found our way into Michigan. That night he pulled off the highway and asked her and I to get into the back because he wanted to have sex. She knew I was not about to do that as I was still a virgin. I told him NO!! He was not happy and pulled a gun out of the glove box and demanded we both get undressed. She some how made a deal with him that he could do whatever he wanted to her but to leave me alone. I sat in the front and waited for them to finish and then he kicked us out right there on the side of the road. I should have been scared but I couldn't have been happier to make it out alive.

We needed to get another ride so again we hitch hiked. We got picked up by yet another guy.  He just had his last delivery and was heading home to Chicago. He seemed to be really nice and talked a lot about his wife and kids. I felt completely at ease with him. No sexual looks, comments or anything. We go to Chicago and he gave us some money to eat and what not with.

We had to find somewhere to go so we started walking in Chicago and what I think might have been the worse neighborhood ever. A car pulled over and asked us if we need a ride. I will never forget that it was one black guy and one white. Immediately the black guy asked questions about money, drugs and sex. She actually gave him our last few dollars for some cocaine. We then went to someone's home and they allowed us to sleep there for a little while. I awoke to someone lifting up my shirt and I grabbed my stuff and took off. I wasn't doing that. We walked for a little while and we some how met a nice black couple. They offered to take us to their home and feed us. We of course accepted. The wife asked me to walk to the store with her to get some food and I agreed. While on the walk she asked me lots of questions about why I was there and I told her the whole story. She suggested I call the police and turn myself in and go home. I guess I never realized that it was even an option. So when we got to the store that is what I did.

The cops came and got me and asked my all sorts of questions about the girl I ran away with. I couldn't answer them because I didn't know where she was. Heck I didn't even have a clue where I was. After all was said and done they placed me in a home. It was sort of like a foster home but not really. It was the only place I ever felt needed and loved. We had a house "mother" I guess you can call her and the house of guys was across the hall. These were runaways from all over who have been placed here until their parents notified and they were sent home on a bus.

I was there over a week and a half because they couldn't find my mom. Finally I was shipped home and my mom didn't seem to care either way.

My mother found yet another boyfriend while I had been gone and shacked up with him. He was great for awhile. I had no problems with him. That was all great until he saw through my mom and put a gun to her head and mine because he found out she was cheating. Life was crazy for a long time after that. I couldn't sleep I was scared he would come find us and shoot us.

You would think after something so dramatic you should see a therapist of some sort but I guess that was just another thing to slip my mothers mind.

Not long after we had the gun placed to our heads mom found yet another man to pull into her web. He was such a nice man. He got us out of the hell hole we were living and into a nice home. For the first time in my life I thought life was going to change.  He wasn't into drinking or drugs and was all around a nice guy.  Not long after we moved mom some how managed to change all that. He became a drinker like she did. There were out to all hours of the night drinking and begging me to pick them up at three in the morning on a school night.

There is so much more to the younger days in my life I wouldn't know where to begin even if I was going to tell you day by day details. I will jump ahead to something else.

I have lived with my grandparents numerous times in my life for one reason or another. I couldn't have been happier. But some how or another I would end up living with my mother again. Life is really cruel sometimes. My mother has five children by four different fathers and they all were able to be with their fathers except my one brother and I. My brother got lucky and was some how able to live with my grandparents for most of his life. But I, I was always pulled back by my mother. I was the only one she ever really kept in touch with which is ironic because I didn't think she really cared about me.  

So many times in my life I felt like it couldn't be worse and something else would happen to make me rethink that.

One night I came home about six or so for dinner. My mom had been drinking and started yelling at me about the dishes not being done. She picked them all up and started throwing them around and then threw a stack of paper plates and the dish pan at me. I was so mad at her I wanted so bad to walk out but I couldn't she would kill me. I went to bed that night so mad at her that I couldn't sleep. I decided to sneak out and go to my friend's house to talk.  I had full intentions on going back home. After several hours of talking my friend decided I needed to call the police on her. That is just what I did. I told them everything I could think of. I told them how scared I was to go home again and how much I wanted to be out of that house.  They brought me down to the police station and called my mom.