Hard Rock Park, Myrtle Beach

Every summer we take some kind of roller coaster trip.  (In fact, we usually take several weekends in addition to a longer trip.)  This year's trip was with the American Coaster Enthusiasts Con, which happened to be at a few southern parks.  The following weekend there was a follow-on event at a very new park in Myrtle Beach, Hard Rock Park, so we decided to attend this as well.

We had to be at the park pretty early.  Their insanely long hours (from 10 AM to 1 AM on Saturdays) meant that our group, in order to get a special ride time, had to be there before 9.  We inquired about a hotel shuttle to the park as advertised on the Web, but found that due to lack of interest it was not running, so we had to drive over.  Not a good sign for the park!

The park also suffers from an odd location.  Not very near the beach, it seems to be in an unfashionable part of Myrtle Beach, stuck behind an abandoned outlet mall, next to a Medieval Times, and between two churches.  It was clearly on the flight path of the nearby airport, as we saw many low-flying planes throughout the day.  Once inside the park but waiting for the main ride areas to open, it looked pretty small.  Like Epcot and other such theme parks, it was spread around a central lake, but in this case the lake was very small and unimpressive.

Thus our expectations for the park were set to be rather low.  Our plan was that after our fill of rides on the park's two big coasters for an hour, we would wander about for a few hours and then leave for the afternoon, before returning that evening for the fireworks show.  Much to our surprise and delight, once we began to explore the park, we found plenty to entertain us, both among the rides and other attractions.  Fully intending to stay for a few hours in the morning, we wound up spending 14 consecutive hours at the park.  Had we not been on the tail end of a long trip with a flight to catch the next morning, I might have considered staying all the way until the 1 AM closing!

I'll begin by describing the roller coaster attractions.  The first we went to, offered as part of our special morning ride session, was Eagles:  Life in the Fast Lane.  This coaster is of the "mine train" genre, typified by moderate height, and a greater reliance on turns than drops.  The ride's external theming does give it a ghost town or mine feel, but the on-ride theming is quite different.  Naturally, the trains have loudspeakers in front of each seat playing the title song (or at least instrumental parts of it).  As you leave the station you will see projections of rats against one wall, for what reason I don't know.  Midway through the ride you return to the station briefly (greeted by loud cheers from the ride ops) before going up a second lift.  And at the end of the ride a metal eagle spouts an impressive pyrotechnic effect from its head.  I'm not quite sure what it all means, but it was fun.  One interesting note about this ride; one of the trains has a platform on which wheelchairs can be loaded.  I don't recall ever having seen such a feature on any other roller coaster.

As is almost obligatory these days, the exit takes riders through a shop.  This one is interesting for having glass cages with various creatures--scorpions, bugs, and even a big snake--within.  I didn't get the sense they were for sale!  What they were doing there, I can't quite fathom.

The other major coaster at Hard Rock is Led Zeppelin:  The Ride.  This is a big looping coaster that makes an impressive visual statement as seen from almost anywhere in the park.  We were pretty much shut out of our exclusive ride time by heavy rain but got to ride it several other times during the course of the day.

The ride is not meant to be just a coaster, but an experience.  Once you've waited through the line (which we never really had to do; we could always walk right up to the boarding area), you find yourself waiting in front of one of five doors.  Four of these are labeled with a band member's name, the other was called "Swan Song".  You are presented with an annoying safety announcement by some Wayne's World knockoff characters, then are admitted into a chamber for a multimedia presentation.  After some rather inconsequential interview footage, the ride's song, "Whole Lotta Love" begins, accompanied by some effects and live footage--probably from the movie "The Song Remains the Same".  At a reasonable break point in the song, the doors open and riders are admitted to the station--itself shaped like a zeppelin--to take their assigned seats.  The song continues.  After restraints are checked the train goes up the lift, and the song continues on the onboard speakers to accompany the ride.

The ride itself is a mixed bag.  As a looping coaster I'd consider it about average, but the soundtrack really does enhance it.  It is timed very well so that Robert Plant's scream begins just as the train goes over the top.  Though I might have preferred a song like "Rock and Roll" for the soundtrack, it's clear that a simple riff like "Whole Lotta Love" is much easier to deal with.  It's quite funny to hear the train rolling by from the ground, playing the song all the time.

After a couple of rides it gets distinctly annoying to have to go through the multimedia presentation again.  I have a feeling that at some point some kind of bypass will be provided.  The assigned seating method was also confusing and annoying; I prefer to be able to choose my own seat.  We did specifically request, and get, the very front once near the end of the day.  Finally, the song only works as a continuous experience if everything goes smoothly.  Any delay, particularly when boarding the train, and riders will wind up with an awkward silence between when they are dispatched and the on-board speakers kick in.  Still, if there ever was a ride appropriate for a rock and roll park, this is it.  Park patrons clearly love it, judging by the chatter I heard as I came off the ride.

Hard Rock Park has one other major coaster, Maximum RPM.  At the time of our visit, they were still having some problems getting it running reliably.  We originally tried to get a ride in the morning, but were told to return at noon.  Doing so, we found a line outside the gate and further delays.  Only after about an hour (at which point we were definitely questioning whether we were doing the right thing to wait) did they let us in line.  The ride is clearly not a high capacity machine in the first place so the line moved slowly.  They had a karaoke setup in the queue, but the crowd of at the time mostly coaster enthusiasts was not very forthcoming with the songs.

The ride vehicles look like six-seater cars.  (The car theming extends to a fake car wash at the end of the ride, and the station being called the Manchester Auto Works--and not coincidentally resembling the Battersea Power Plant featured on a Pink Floyd album cover.)  Right out of the station you get to experience the most unique aspect of the coaster, a strange lift mechanism that looks like a Ferris wheel.  The cars roll onto a piece of track which is lifted in a circular motion--all the while staying level with the ground--to the top.  From there the car goes over a rather steep drop.  Throughout the ride there is musical accompaniment, randomly chosen songs from the 80's.  On the two rides we took we got the Gary Numan/Wang Chung combination each time.

The ride is very short, undoubtedly less than 30 seconds from the first drop to the end.  Along with the long wait times, this makes it hard for me to say it's really worth it.  If I ever return, I'd really have to see a short line before I'd consider riding.  At the very least, during the wait for our first ride, when we weren't even sure that the ride would open for us, several park employees came by to talk to us.  They were very apologetic and conversational.

There are two other coasters at the park, but neither is very notable.  Shake Rattle and Rollercoaster is a "family" ride, something that roller coaster enthusiasts only ride for the "credit".  Slippery When Wet is a suspended ride with no significant drops.  Its main feature is that it has several water effects so that riders can get drenched.  Riders can in theory do battle with people on the ground who operate water guns, but our water bombs did not seem to be workin when we rode.  The brakes on this ride seemed poorly tuned; at the end I got a lap bar in my stomach.  One ride on each of these coasters was plenty.

Hard Rock Park is host to a number of spinning rides.  I don't recall riding any of these that day, but I did appreciate some of the theming.  Two of the best were the "Magic Mushroom" and a ride themed after London cabs, featuring working headlights on all the ride tubs.

We did ride one other attraction, the park's dark ride, "Nights in White Satin:  The Trip".  We loved it so much, we would ride it three times that day, unheard of for me for a non-thrilling ride.  The conception of the effects accompanying the title song (or at least the latter parts of it, including all the pretentious poetry) was excellent.  Riders are given 3D glasses, then walk through what seems like a 60's era love nest, complete with beads.  Soon you board the ride vehicles for the main part of the "trip".  From the white curtain room at the beginning to the various optical illusions (including a room that looked like it extended forever) to the smoke ring launched at riders (though oddly misaligned so that the rider in the left seat got the best effect) it was a fascinating experience.  I have to wonder how many park employees have gone through here after having taken drugs.

There's a lot else to say about the park.  There were a variety of shows available, of which we only saw one, but it was decent.  The fireworks (accompanied by "Bohemian Rhapsody") were really good.  Naturally there is music playing throughout the park.  It seems that in each theme area the regular soundtrack is blended in some areas with a different style.  My first experience of this was when first entering the "Rock and Roll Heaven" area.  The song was Talking Heads' "Heaven" (great choice of song, both thematically and because it's one of their best lesser known songs), which blended as I walked with a calypso version.

We didn't try a lot of the food offerings, but what we did try was good.  I definitely liked the variety, which extended well beyond the usual staples of hot dogs and burgers.

The employees were universally friendly and enthusiastic.  We were frequently asked how our day was going, almost to the point of obsession.  I really got the sense that they were proud of their park, and perhaps a bit sad that more people weren't there.

But the best part about the park was the plethora of little touches scattered throughout.  Much of the time we spent was just wandering around taking it all in.  Here are some photos, just a sampling of the many details we got a kick out of:

The sexy "changing of the guard"

The Punk Pit, a "bouncy castle" attraction for adults.  We had a blast in here, but it's exhausting.

Stands around the park were made to look like road equipment.

A commemorative area in Rock and Roll Heaven (I thought Joey Ramone should have gotten a big brick).

A shameful misspelling.

The diner has a hidden message for us.

Another clever pun.

How generous of them!

Several places in the park showed a firm anti-war stance.

The groovy denizens of the Carnaby Street Café.

There's something in common to all these directional signs.

Go up and talk to this cow.  You'll be glad you did, but don't walk in front of the teats!

You have to be confident in your manhood to use these urinals.