by Susan V.
Member since:
December 4, 2006

Next Stop Poem Contest Submission , Going To Heaven Just For A Visit And taking The Train

August 11, 2008 07:06 PM EDT
views: 207 | rating: 10/10 (41 votes) | comments: 73

I do not want to leave this earth just yet,

but I miss my Dad and brother , I do not want to wait.

So I am taking the train you can bet,

To see two special people ,who could not help their fate.

I can hear the huffing and puffing of the engine,

and can see the clouds floating by.

I am getting  excited, I can not wait to see these two men,

I look out the train window when it stops and begin to cry.

My brother and father are standing there,

like they are expecting me.

I jump off the train and run to the pair,

laughing and crying so much that  I can not see.

I hug them so hard, I fear they make break

I tell them of my train ride.

The alarm goes off and I awake,

That was a wonderful dream  I decide.

Maybe tommorrow night I can ride again,

This time to see my grandmother,

to the place I have already been.

visiting my dad and brother.

 

 

 

 

link to this page
Bookmark this post:
Facebook
Twitter
Delicious
Buzz
More

Comments: 73

Andrea (Ms. Conservative) L. Aug 11, 2008, 7:19pm EDT
nicely done
Holli G. Aug 11, 2008, 7:46pm EDT
awww! This is SO sweet!! I love it
Nana to Seven Cutiepies Aug 11, 2008, 8:18pm EDT
This is great.
Cara D. Aug 11, 2008, 8:22pm EDT
Excellent!
Susan V. Aug 11, 2008, 8:33pm EDT
Thank you Everyone!
Patty H. Aug 11, 2008, 10:20pm EDT
Nicely done
Carolion Grailbear Aug 11, 2008, 10:21pm EDT
Isn't it something, how the thought of a train can let your mind take you anywhere?
Deloris Wright Aug 11, 2008, 10:36pm EDT
Very nice
Denise B. Aug 12, 2008, 8:55am EDT
Nice!!
Susan V. Aug 12, 2008, 4:10pm EDT
tHank you Denise!
Susan V. Aug 12, 2008, 4:11pm EDT
Thanks Deloris!
Susan V. Aug 12, 2008, 4:11pm EDT
Thanks Carolion
Susan V. Aug 12, 2008, 4:12pm EDT
Thanks Patty!
Chris Brockman Aug 12, 2008, 4:32pm EDT
Pleasant dreams, Susan!
Susan V. Aug 12, 2008, 5:06pm EDT
Thanks Chris!
Shelbia C. Aug 12, 2008, 11:31pm EDT
This is very well done. I like the whole idea.
Robin G. Aug 13, 2008, 3:24pm EDT
Great Work!
Susan V. Aug 13, 2008, 4:27pm EDT
Thank You Robin
Susan V. Aug 13, 2008, 4:27pm EDT
Thank You Shelbia
Winton Charles Hopper III Aug 13, 2008, 10:35pm EDT
wonderful journey... good luck!
Susan V. Aug 16, 2008, 12:56pm EDT
thanks Tom And Scottie!
L. H. Aug 21, 2008, 12:53am EDT
eXcellant!
Angel sent from God Secret Sisters Aug 21, 2008, 9:32pm EDT
Very beautiful,trains are a great way of telling your story/poems!!
t b. Aug 23, 2008, 3:25pm EDT
Nice Susan
.* Sandi * Aug 31, 2008, 10:40am EDT
nicely said
Carol B Aug 31, 2008, 1:45pm EDT
Very nice, I really enjoyed reading your poem. Wouldn't it be nice if we could really take that train to visit our deceased loved ones? Even if it were just the one time that we could go and come back.
Sharon K. Sep 13, 2008, 5:08pm EDT
Susan, very lyrical, loved the subject matter and very nicely written! I loved it!
Thanks for sharing....
lena k. Sep 14, 2008, 2:17pm EDT
great
Rae M. Sep 14, 2008, 11:52pm EDT
Very nice. I could imagine it happening.
F. Jeanette c. Sep 16, 2008, 8:45pm EDT
This is a wonderful poem that could be made into a childrens story with fantastic illustrations. Could be a great one!

10 4 u
Beverly P. Sep 16, 2008, 10:08pm EDT
Very nice
Myspace Comments
Myspace Comments
Mary Standard Sep 16, 2008, 11:48pm EDT
The concept was very original and the twisted ending was great! I agree this could make a very good children's book.
Patti M. Sep 17, 2008, 7:09pm EDT
What a great idea. If only. I miss my dad and our very best friend so very much.
Rebecca Florido Sep 18, 2008, 12:30am EDT
I love it:)
Yes I can see a book also with wonderful photos~
J W. Sep 23, 2008, 2:46pm EDT
oh this is a beautiful poem, it touched me to my soul. Thank You for sharing this with us here on Gather.
Jean E. Sep 24, 2008, 9:13am EDT
Well done ladybug ~ dreams have a way of creeping into the way we live our lives ~kudos ~J
Lawrence U. Sep 24, 2008, 11:52pm EDT
Lovely poem, Susan!
Dena Straughn Sep 28, 2008, 3:17pm EDT
I sure would like to see my mom . . . even if only in a dream.
Amy C. Sep 28, 2008, 7:00pm EDT
beautiful poem
Jennifer M Sep 29, 2008, 1:17pm EDT
Excellent. Nicely done
beautiful the second time I read it too
Deborah R. Oct 5, 2008, 8:55am EDT
Great work. Thank you for sharing.
vernon n. Oct 10, 2008, 1:58pm EDT
Great poem Susan.
Dianne S. Oct 11, 2008, 8:45am EDT
Great poem!!! Love the story line....Wish I could do this to see my Mom and Dad and all the others before them!!
Jennifer aka Jenn B. Oct 11, 2008, 9:16pm EDT
beautifully done..touched a cord...
♥♥LoViNg♥LiFe♥ ♥♥ Nov 11, 2008, 1:59pm EST
thanks for sharing
♥♥LoViNg♥LiFe♥ ♥♥ Nov 11, 2008, 2:00pm EST
really nice writing
♥♥LoViNg♥LiFe♥ ♥♥ Nov 11, 2008, 2:00pm EST
pay it forward
Still great while paying it forward
Mary M. Nov 13, 2008, 3:44pm EST
Great poetry. Paying it forward.
Very nice poem. I can't wait to see my mom when it's my time. I am sure by that time I will be missing her so very much.
**Paying it forward**
Jennifer R. Nov 14, 2008, 12:01pm EST
Nicely done. Poignant in its heartfeltness and simplicity.

~Paying it Forward~
Kelly M. Nov 20, 2008, 10:05pm EST
Thanks for paying it forward to me! Be sure to join my group one for me one for you!
Sue D. Nov 26, 2008, 10:38pm EST
Wonderful!

Myspace Comments
Thanksgiving Comments
Myspace Comments - Upload Photos
Sheila J. Jan 3, 2009, 10:18pm EST
I enjoyed reading your poem. I think often of how much I'd like to travel to Heaven to see my loved ones. I have lost my dad and brother, as well as many others. You did a nice job of capturing that hope of seeing them again one day.
Susan V. Jan 3, 2009, 10:38pm EST
Thank You Sheila
Toni V. Jan 3, 2009, 10:57pm EST
Wow. Very well done, Susan. What a great way to go wherever you wish.
Linda M. Feb 14, 2009, 2:28pm EST
Your poem brings up some sweet thougts. It would indeed be great if we could see our loved ones in heaven, even for just a little while.
Larry W. Mar 8, 2009, 9:51pm EDT
i would say everyone has a loved one there
Bard Constantine Mar 15, 2009, 10:48pm EDT
I think most would like to take that ride.
Cheryl W. Mar 15, 2009, 11:23pm EDT
Wonderful poem!
edna r. Mar 19, 2009, 2:40am EDT
I would like to take the train and visit my mom, just one more time.
Patty Mayonaise Mar 20, 2009, 1:01am EDT
great poem
Randall C. Mar 24, 2009, 12:19am EDT
Hi Susan.. just adding my appreciation for your thoughts about your family, and how much you miss them
Shannon R. Apr 24, 2009, 8:20am EDT
You wrote I fear they make break, I think you meant might break. :)
Linda M. May 6, 2009, 11:37pm EDT
Very touching.
Marie L. May 15, 2009, 12:32pm EDT
This was really wonderful to read!
Melanie B. May 16, 2009, 10:44pm EDT
Very well done~
michael S Sep 11, 2009, 12:50pm EDT
What a wonderful dream,may it be just as peaceful when your train finally arrives.But let's hope for a hold-up on the track ,don't buy the ticket just yet.The words hang together very nicely.
michael S Sep 11, 2009, 12:51pm EDT
Forgive me for butting in.

Join the Conversation
Chime in! Become a Gather member to comment.
Already a member? Sign in
top
 
Gather | Friends | Groups | Share
About Gather | Engagement Marketing | Make New Friends | Gather Points | Advertise on Gather | Gather Press | Privacy | Terms of Service | Community Guidelines
Books | Celebs | Entertainment | Family | Food | Health | Moms | Money | News | Politics | Spirituality | Sports | Travel | Writing
Version 16865, "Oz"; Copyright © 2009 Gather Inc. All rights reserved.