by Bhawana 'Gather Proud Mom'
Member since:
April 25, 2007

Delhi to NY...''Next Stop''Poem Contest Submission

August 01, 2008 05:54 PM EDT (Updated: August 01, 2008 06:10 PM EDT)
views: 168 | comments: 64

Those were the days
when we travelled without a plan,
A girl, sitting near the train window
rhyming in the whistle of time.

 

Mom smiled asking what I was humming.
I was lost in watching the sights,
waving with the trees in drizzly rain
sketching a rainbow in the sky.

 

Beautiful meadows, big rivers
watching nature's beauty,
splendidly created by, none other than
God, The Almighty.

 

Rattling through tunnels
travelling from station to station
looking for the right destination,
It moved silently along the fields
where many farmers grew their yields.

 

The mystery, the roar of wheels
the eddying dust
serpentine strings of cars
loaded with boys and girls,

swaying through the North and South,
and East and West.

 

I wondered, life is as long
as the railroad tracks,
Soon, I boarded
in my own choo- choo dream train
waiting for the 'Next Stop'

 

When I woke up
I found myself in a beautiful land,
now my dream train
was faster than fairies
stronger than monsters.

 

I heard a kid singing the same song
I sang in my childhood
Chuga- chuga- chuga -chuga
mimicking, playing with Thomas.



Arrived successfully,
I peeped outside and saw
It was the famous Penn Station
my 'Next Stop'

 

 

(201 words) 

written for the group http://allaboard.gather.com/
link to this page
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Comments: 64

Larry H. Aug 1, 2008, 5:57pm EDT
very good, cute picture thanks for sharing..
Marge H. Aug 1, 2008, 5:59pm EDT
i love trains. Great poem and pic.
Lisa Frost Aug 1, 2008, 6:01pm EDT
Excellent poem, and story. You are such a wonderful artist in every since of the word. Blessings my friend Bhawana. You bring a smile whenever I see your icon!
Alison Pearce Aug 1, 2008, 6:14pm EDT
Wonderful Bhawana!
Ellie !. Aug 1, 2008, 6:17pm EDT
Lovely Bhawana! I can see it alongside you.
Granny Janny H. Aug 1, 2008, 6:22pm EDT
You wakened my own childhood memories of traveling by train!
Sherrie H. Aug 1, 2008, 6:32pm EDT
There is such a sense of mystery and wonder! Great poem!
Sassy Cat Aug 1, 2008, 6:33pm EDT
Wonderful poem!
Phyllis R. Aug 1, 2008, 6:39pm EDT
This is wonderful and so descriptive, -- makes one feel as though they are there!
I too love that darling picture, -- she is an angel!!
necee t. Aug 1, 2008, 6:43pm EDT
ooh Bhawana... this was sooo real... i love trains too... i'm sooo glad you arrived safe...
God bless you and yours...

Christian Glitter by www.christianglitter.com
Amanda C. Aug 1, 2008, 6:51pm EDT
Great poem- it was very touching and beautiful!
t b. Aug 1, 2008, 6:52pm EDT
This is wondeful Bhawana!
I can almost feel the movement and hear the train......
Natalie Neal Whitefield Aug 1, 2008, 7:17pm EDT
Your intense, delicate, powerful expressions. So original with a rhythm all their own. Thank you for taking me with you on your precious journeys...
Rita j. Aug 1, 2008, 7:28pm EDT
wow! this is great
Deb J. Aug 1, 2008, 7:44pm EDT
Very nice Bhawana my friend!! Hope your summer is coming along well...have you started the countdown to "baby day"??? Love ya and you take care!!
Photobucket
C H Aug 1, 2008, 8:10pm EDT
Nice work. Wonderful descriptions, like how you weaved in the sounds with the movement to create the story.
Faith H. Aug 1, 2008, 8:17pm EDT
Bhawana, a brilliant segue from India to the Americas. I so enjoyed your gentle rocking back and forth, evoking the train travels. The imagry that you saw out a train window from one (sub)continent to another is well defined. Thank you for posting this delightful poem.
♠~Dnbuster~♠ ~. Aug 1, 2008, 8:19pm EDT
Great "train" entry
Thanks for posting to Friends of DN
Kathryn E. Aug 1, 2008, 8:23pm EDT
Your article is Featured in the Triple Name Club.
Marianne R. Aug 1, 2008, 8:32pm EDT
Good luck
Tina Coruth Aug 1, 2008, 8:37pm EDT
Bhawana, I love your descriptions! This is a lovely poem!
Vikki M. Aug 1, 2008, 9:03pm EDT
This is wonderful! What a picture you paint with your words.
ELLEN B. Aug 1, 2008, 9:22pm EDT
My how that brought back memories of my childhood Mam'. You are so good Bhawana. Captivating, and motivating. Great work, I loved it. And the picture. Ellen B
Donald M. Aug 1, 2008, 9:37pm EDT
I loved trains when I was growing up. Boarded one when in high school and went from Texas to Hollywood by myself. A little scary a little exciting. Feeling more grown up every minute. But when I made my wonderful trip and got back to Texas I was so frigntened.
Had to catch a bus home and didnt know where the station was. LOL hailed a cab and the bus station was just around the block.
Kay M. Aug 1, 2008, 9:53pm EDT
This is wonderful Bhawana. You really took me along for the ride.
Kerrell g. Aug 2, 2008, 12:17am EDT
Well done!
KC Klein Aug 2, 2008, 2:41am EDT
well drawn pictures and images, Buzzy
Melinda ~choosing happiness~ S. Aug 2, 2008, 8:33am EDT
Wonderfully done, Bhawana! That photo is amazing!
lynn a. Aug 2, 2008, 1:50pm EDT
Buzzy, you really wrote a fantastic poem here, and you captured the magic of childhood. This is beautiful and fun and happy. What a delight.
Bridget ♥ Aug 2, 2008, 2:06pm EDT
Great poem
Rae M. Aug 2, 2008, 2:25pm EDT
Wonderful poem, thank you for sharing your poetic story.
Bethany C. Aug 2, 2008, 2:29pm EDT
I loved this! Beautiful!
elizabeth e. Aug 2, 2008, 3:28pm EDT
I love riding on trains...and this ride was just wonderful.
Natalie Neal Whitefield Aug 2, 2008, 3:43pm EDT
Thank you for sending your beautiful poem to the TM Group and Home Comfort...We are featuring it in both groups today!
Janet Somewhere Up On The Mount Aug 2, 2008, 3:55pm EDT
That is wonderful! You are so talented!!
10 Stars
Jennifer N. Aug 2, 2008, 10:46pm EDT
This is beautiful, and it conjured up images from my last train ride!
Wilma M. Aug 2, 2008, 11:50pm EDT
I felt like I was on the train with you. I left my home yesterday and have driven 450 miles to get to the Oregon coast. There are many trains that run along the Columbia River and I love watching all of them. Hardly ever see a passenger train though. Most of those run at night up here, unfortunately.
William Dotani Aug 3, 2008, 4:54am EDT
I wish I felt well enough to give a long answer because this poem has a lot of elements. I felt like I was hovering in the air watching the progress of your journey, but the progress was so interesting. There is the subtle references to a past, the actual journey, a remembrance of where you thought you were going and how you compared your journey to what you have been observing now that you're older. I felt this observation was like an insert put into the poem to mesh with the them and not to cause an interuption with the developing stream of the theme. The last line knocked me out. It basically says you have arrived. It doesn't say the journey is over. I hope I'm making sense. There are so many layers in this poem it is more like a collage than any specific unfolding of images.
Patti M. Aug 3, 2008, 8:24pm EDT
I only got to take the train once but it was special. There is just something about that constant clickity clack.
Patti M. Aug 3, 2008, 8:25pm EDT
I hope you enjoy the smoothie.so far everyone has loved it.
Lawrence U. Aug 3, 2008, 9:18pm EDT
Lovely poem, Bhawana - I enjoy the flow of your writing. You have, certainly, arrived! :)
Sheila Deeth Aug 4, 2008, 12:36am EDT
Lovely. Trains were part of our life in England, and I love the journeying image in this.
William Dotani Aug 4, 2008, 1:58am EDT
I rode trains everywhere in Japan. We need trains here.
Amy C. Aug 4, 2008, 9:43am EDT
wonderful! It paints a picture!
Denise B. Aug 4, 2008, 10:14am EDT
great poem
April H. Aug 5, 2008, 12:20pm EDT
Lovely poem
Susan V. Aug 5, 2008, 7:33pm EDT
Very good!
Laura B. Aug 5, 2008, 11:01pm EDT
Oh honey- I winced when your first verb was a "to be" verb! For a contest piece! you have "was" littered all over this poem in lines only four and fives words long. I know you posses the talent to choose powerful words, and your adjectives and verbs display this a bit in this poem... the idea is beautiful, but I must say, for a poem, for a contest, I expected great verbs. Oh how I wish I could give you a ten in my heart of hearts. I am not going to vote on it, just so I don't taint your score with my beliefs in poetry writing. I look forward to seeing your other work in the future.
Laura B. Aug 5, 2008, 11:06pm EDT
My- I am sorry- I totally disagree with so many of these comments, and I usually love, LOVE your work. I think we need to go back and read some masters outside of Gather for a while. really.
Barbary Chaapel Aug 7, 2008, 6:19pm EDT
Wonderful travel via your poem, Bhawana. I love the ending. And the title. All of it!
Lisa K. Aug 7, 2008, 11:18pm EDT
Wonderful!
Leah A. Aug 8, 2008, 8:15pm EDT
Great poem. I really liked the imagery.
Wonderful writing here, I just love to sit here and read your work. I hope to see more work from you soon.
Sarah Honenberger Aug 10, 2008, 11:07pm EDT
Photo was perfect for this story.
Blossom K. Aug 12, 2008, 7:24pm EDT
Very simple and very neat. Liked its simplicity... keep up the good work... :-)
René Allen Aug 13, 2008, 1:09pm EDT
Bhawana ~ you AMAZE ME! This is the most joyful poetic work!

This is FEATURED in Dream Depths

Just AWESOME!

Your Friend,
Rene
Winton Charles Hopper III Aug 22, 2008, 10:15am EDT
nice... congrats!

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