Trust: a civil virtue

There is a survival advantage to being able to lie. There is also a survival advantage to being able to trust. Thus I fear we are left with two useful innate mechanisms that limit each other. I would prefer to trust, though to do it too freely is dangerous. I would prefer not to lie, though there are times not to lie is to cause great harm. Thus I guess I think it is the causing of harm intentional or unintentional that is my main concern.

Short and to the point. When someone is trustworthy honest relationships can be formed. I liked this very much.

Please post this to: Etiquette - Manners Matter Group Home Page at Gather
http://itmatters.gather.com/

There is much to consider in what Billy says above. But honesty is the main ingredient of trust ... so truth should be used always ... there is nothing wrong with truth as long it is your own very best attempt at it. There will always be others that have different truths or that disagree with your own, but the more truth that is sought always, the more likely we will understand each other and have less fear and more love and respect. What goes around comes around.

Joe, kind words indeed (And I wll be reading your articles), Billy, Jerry: excellent; that is the tangent that I haddn't seen yet and that is what makes Gather interesting at its best. Anita, it is not my normal practice to post to groups; but I will do so, and thank you for the invite. It felt personal.

Lying is interesting and complex; but can be a knee-jerk or brain-jerk reraction or, of course, become an avoidance trait; the habitual liar. Do we need to lie; no. What 'bout not hurting someone. Well, diplomacy is based upon careful language, awareness (Which happens in the superfrontal gyrus of our brains: if you put the palm of your hand half way up your forehead and lay it flat going to the back of your hand it is right there just underneath the bone and up to the knuckle. It intergrates self-awareness and senses: i.e. feelings of guilt is one of those) Lying is a sign of guilt, and guilt a sign of aberrant behaviour.

Best really to follow the advice of an 18th century English saying (I cannot source it, I'm almost sure it didn't come from the internet quote sources that I know, but I can't remember where I saw it):

If you would be happy for a day: get thee to a barber. If thou would be happy for a week: get married; a month: a horse; a year: a house. But if that wilt be happy all thy life do but one thing: be honest...

Amen.

I agree wholeheartedly!!! For me if I fine I can't Trust you their cannot be any type of relationship. For me a lack of Trust is a deal breaker.