Like the Way You Look

Are you self-conscious about your body? Are you dreading the upcoming bathing suit season? If you do see yourself reflected in a full-length mirror or in the window of a store you're passing by do you react with horror, shame, anxiety or disgust? Feeling badly about your body is not helpful when you're trying to lose weight regardless of how many pounds you've got to lose.

When I discuss body image with my patients who are trying to lose weight the typical response I get is, "How can I like my body when I look like this? And if I did like my body I wouldn't be motivated to stick to my diet." If you have similar thoughts it's time to change these self-defeating beliefs. Let's start with your motivations. If you liked your body it's unlikely that you'd give up attempts to lose weight because there are enough other benefits to keep you motivated. Certainly you'd like to decrease the health risks associated with obesity. If you liked your body at your current weight you'd still prefer to have the increased energy and stamina that come with weight loss. There are many reasons to reduce; you don't have to hate the way you look to be motivated.

Actually, hating the way you look is unmotivating. Developing new eating and exercise habits takes time and effort. You need to have the energy necessary to make these changes. It's difficult, if not impossible to have that energy when you are feeling badly about yourself. When you are afraid to look at yourself, and make negative comments if you do see your body, you drain that energy leaving you demoralized and wanting to give up. Another problem with hating your body is that it becomes a habit. Many dieters who lose weight then focus their dissatisfaction on some other part of their body. They've reduced the size of their stomach but they still don't like their stretch marks, the shape of their nose, or some other "flaw". If you make all that effort to change your body and still don't like it, what do you think will happen next? Most likely you'll become more discouraged and give-up and regain the weight that you worked so hard to lose!

Although it requires changing your thinking, you can learn to like your body before you lose weight. My book, Body Intelligence: Lose Weight, Keep It Off, and Feel Great About Your Body Without Dieting! (McGraw-Hill, 2006) offers suggestions and exercises to improve your body image.

Here are five to get started:

1. Watch your language - describe body parts in realistic, but neutral terms. For example, you could say your thighs are "large" rather than "gross"

2. Don't avoid fun activities because of self-consciousness about your body. Get out on the dance floor and don't assume that everyone is commenting on your body

3. Choose clothing that you find attractive rather than clothing that you hope will hide parts of your body.

4. Understand that you don't need to feel badly about your body because of embarrassing experiences you may have had in the past (see Chapter 8 in Body Intelligence for more detail).

5. When you look in the mirror, pay attention to aspects of your appearance that you like rather than just focusing on the less attractive parts.
As your body image improves you'll find it easier to become more physically active and have more motivation to follow a sensible eating plan.