On Human Connection: An Afternoon with Mitch Albom

I travel a great deal these days for work.  Between business meetings and lunches, plane rides and cab fares, I have far less time than I'd like to read.  When I find a little time to myself, though, I love to pick up a book and explore another world for a while.  Last week, after a particularly long day of work, I found myself unwinding with Mitch Albom's latest book, for one more day.  I was taking a trip the next day to New York to see Mitch read from his book, so I felt it appropriate to be well-versed in the subject matter.  Many people who read Mitch's memoir, Tuesdays with Morrie, were touched by it, so I was very eager to read his latest novel. 

A unifying theme in Mitch's writing is the importance of human connection  As I boarded the Amtrak train to New York the next day, I began to think of my relationships with friends and family alike. I found myself scheduling trips with parents and making plans with friends that I have missed this year in my mind as we flew past the Connecticut waterfront.

When I arrived on the corner of 29th and Park, forty-five minutes before the reading, the Starbucks was already half full.  People were milling about, multiple copies of the book in hand, waiting for the reading.  I walked in and introduced myself to the team helping to organize the event.  One Starbucks' PR person confided, "Those people in the front row have been here since nine, before we had chairs set-up."   The seats were soon full (even the big cushy ones in the back) and people were standing along the rail.

My colleague Mark and I sat in the back row and watched as television crews and print journalists interviewed Mitch in front of a big copy of his book.  He chatted comfortably with each reporter as the next stood in queue.  He smiled, genuinely it seemed, as his fans looked on.  Myself, I waited for the moment the cameras switched-off.  I wanted to see the real guy, who comes out in those few minutes between press interviews and public reading. 

The odd thing, honestly, was that he didn't change.  He took a few minutes to rest.  He chatted comfortably with his team about the event and their next stops that day.  Then he walked in front of all of us and started to chat. 

"I don't dress like this normally," he began, poking fun at his suit pants and vest.  "We had to do the morning shows and they made me wear a suit."

Mitch continued by describing how he wrote his first book, about his conversations with his friend Morrie, as Morrie neared the end of his life.  He talked about how hard it had been for him to find a publisher for Tuesdays. He talked, almost forgetting us it seemed, about how difficult it had been to hear how a story so important to him wasn't important to publisher-after-publisher. 

As Mitch talked, the grinding of beans and steaming of milk faded into the background.  Perhaps they stopped serving coffee, for a moment.  I can't remember.  I do know that that people that had just popped in for a quick cup were now leaning over the rail, listening too. 

"This book," Mitch continued, "and I don't want to give it all away, is about a man who has really lost his way.  His parents have both passed.  His wife has left him.  In fact, things have gotten so bad for him that his own daughter didn't tell him about her wedding, fearing he might ruin the event.  And he has decided to take his own life. 

Now we have all had experiences when we have been touched by people who are no longer with us.  Sometimes in a dream, sometimes in a moment.  I don't want to get to mystical here, but somehow, Charlie gets to spend just one more day with his Mom.  And this is what happens."

And then Mitch read. 

The funny thing is that while Mitch read, the part of me that had been waiting for a business meeting vanished.  The Tom that was rushing from train to cab to breakfast to event went away.  I remembered, for a few minutes, how precious the time was with my parents, with my siblings and their families, and with the friends I love.

I missed most of what Mitch was saying after the reading.  By the time my mind snapped back, Mitch was bringing the audience back up with an anecdote about his own Mom.  One he uses in the book, it turns out.  Then he opened it up for questions. 

A young guy, sitting just two rows in front of me, asked the first question about the language Mitch uses in his writing.  "You used the word 'devotion' in each of your books," he explained.  "Why 'devotion?'  Was that intentional?  What does that word mean to you?"

Mitch was surprised by the word.  He even wondered aloud whether he had used it as the questioner suggested, until the clever fan cited passages from each book.  An amused Mitch paused and said, "Well, if you are asking about spirituality, I do think there is something bigger out there.  But I also think it's possible to have a spiritual moment with just another person.  You might reach out and pour cream in my coffee, and it could mean much more than that."

What Mitch was describing, and what seems to be the common theme in his books, is the importance of connection between people.  In one book, he begins with a close bond that ends with the death of a friend.  Here, a life goes off course because of a lack of that same bond. 

Connection, of course, means risk.  It means putting ourselves out there.  It means facing rejection from time to time.  We might be mocked.  We might be ignored.  We might get close, only to end-up with dashed dreams.  And if we take those risks and form those bonds, we open ourselves up to the pain of loss someday. 

What I remembered, in those few minutes with Mitch, was that this connection is what matters.  I can be lonely in a room full of people if I am not with someone I care about.  I can be fulfilled walking on a quiet beach if I am with the right friend. In the end, it's worth the risk.

I plan to hit the readings in Starbucks in Seattle and Portland next week when I head to the Pacific Northwest and would love to see some of you there. If you do make it, perhaps we can linger a bit after the questions and book signings to chat about what thoughts his reading inspired for you. 

SEATTLE
Monday, October 16
5:30 p.m. - 6:30 p.m.
Madison Park Store
4000 East Madison Park
Seattle, WA 98112

 
PORTLAND
Tuesday, October 17
12 p.m. - 1 p.m.
NW 23rd & Overton Store
1301 NW 23rd
Portland, OR 97210