Obamadoom Descends on the Capital!

As the Congress gathered to finally enact meaningful health care reform a grey and sticky fog rose up from the Potomac and stole across the Capital.  In the glowering light strange and supernatural events unfold!  Lincoln stirred in his great memorial, slapped his knees and laughed out loud!  FDR rose from his wheelchair and danced a jig!  Jefferson was heard to whisper, “I’m glad to the soul they finally got the “common good” idea!  About damn time!”

Washington’s Memorial shot great cascades of fireworks, TR Roosevelt waved his sword and hooted, Marines on the Iwo Jima Memorial planted the flag, lit up some cigarettes, cheered and were soon joined by thousands WW2, Vietnam, Korean and Gulf War heroes.  Shades of Adams, Kennedy, Franklin, Truman, Eisenhower, a great crowd of leaders gathered in the ghostly light, slapped backs and passed the jug around.

In the Capital itself NC Rep Virginia Foxx, struggling to uncross her eyes, loudly claimed, “Turrists!  I kin smell ‘em!  They gonna take the taxes!  You jest watch!”

John Boehner, waved his pocket Constitution and said, “Lookee!  It says right here we got the preamble rights to self satisfaction, right here in this preambler,” when the shades of James Madison and Benjamin Franklin agreed that public office requires no test of religion but evidently needs a test of intelligence. 

Newt Gingrich was seen fleeing from a troop of shouting Federal cavalry, “hang the rebel!” 

Senator Mitch McConnell, speaking from the face he keeps in a jar by the door, said that “government programs never helped anybody” and was hurled headlong into the Reflecting Pool by WPA and CCC veterans.  Upon hitting the water he dissolved into a oily film which congealed into a bug eyed, bespectacled mound of silly putty, a leaner shag top version of Jabba the Hut.

Rep Todd Akin found himself in a thicket of Union Army bayonets with US Grant re-administering the Oath Of Allegiance, reiterating the importance of “one nation, INDIVISABLE, with liberty and justice for all.”

Not far away Sen Tom Coburn was stuffed with straw and hung from fence post nail with arm akimbo and humming, “If I only Had a Brain” while winged monkeys played Frisbee with his toupee.  Bustling to the rescue Michelle Bachman was blindsided by a bucket of water and when the smoke cleared, only a pant suit, imitation pearls, chiffon scarf, a leopard striped thong and sensible shoes were found.  From her handbag fell a Lucite encased sliver of the True Cross and personally autographed copy of “Mein Kampf.” 

The Blue Dogs were found leashed to the White House fence as a laughing LBJ went from one to the next twisting ears to hear them howl.  “Sing you bastards!”

As the vote was taken and appeared to divide along party lines, Golden Tongues of Consecrating Flame descended from heaven toward the White House.   So, to prevent the President from gaining any MORE eloquence than he already has Snowe, Collins, Grassley and Jeff Sessions asked for and were granted for vigorous public option. 

Dawn rose over the Potomac and new rays of sunshine melted the fog.  Very little remained of the nights revelry.  Much to the relief and jubilant celebration of Minnesotans Michelle Bachman is still missing.  Tom Coburn is wearing a Confederate flag doo-rag and sometimes in the twilight, fleeing across the Mall a small terrier clutches something like a desiccated grey rat while a pig-tailed girl chases after calling, “Toto!  Toto!  Come back and DROP THAT!  It’s NASTY!”

Noon, as the President of the United States, Barack Obama, signed the Kennedy Health Care bill into law, across America a great rustling wind rose then fell, a sweet and warm sigh of relief.