As the presidential election nears we all have to make that critical decision of who we wish to vote for. For some of us the choice is easy as we are die hard republicans or die hard democrats. Either way oue rigidness makes it easy to decide, just don't confuse us with the facts.
On the other hand thier are the vast majority of us who perplex over this most imprtant decision. We stay up late and loose sleep. We get in heated arguments with our coworkers. We dread the election day deadline. Relax my friends I bring you relief from your misery with this plug and play political personality assesment. It's very simple. You just answer all the questions and the more yes answers you have the more likely you are republican and should vote for Mccain. Obviously the default for no answers, or finding any of these answers repugnent, would be that you should concsider voting for Obama. Then there are the third party people who still believe they can make a difference and they are of co .
urse right even though the reality is that we have a defacto two party system and any third party gets squished like a bug. But go ahead stand on your principles, it's a free country. ( But before you do at least take the test and see where you stand. )
Anyway, back to the test. Read the statements like this "You coulde be republican if....( insert satement here ).......otherwise you could be a democrat. Take the test, make you choice, and then go enjoy the summer. No more sleepless nights , no more heated arguments, just peace and tranquility as you go about your days with that smug look and the tiny smile that shows you have made your bed and you wish to be left alone to lie in it. For you third party folks I wish you peace in your quest for perfection.
So here it is!
You could be republican if you believe :
Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all humankind without regulation.
Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense.
A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's cocaine conviction is none of our business.
Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness, and you need our prayers for your recovery.
You support states' rights, which means the Attorney General can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.
What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.
......otherwise you could be a Democrat.
Now go enjoy the rest of your summer and don't forget to vote.
Third party people...sorry I can't help you
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Comments: 36
You believe Americans have the right to bears arms as stated in the Constitution unless you live in an urban area or hunt big game in urban communities?
Freedom of Speech is guaranteed in the Constitution unless it relates to the past voting records, financial dealings or criminal associations of Obama and any member of his family.
The mortagage crisis is was created by greedy bankers, especially those that gave special rates and deals to politicians like Obama.
Racisim is bad unless of course it is black preachers denouncing white people.
Lying is bad, but not remembering or noticing is good. If you see no evil, hear no evil, you can't be evil even if you participate as long as you have a short memory.
Being a Christian is important and respecting a friend and mentor is equally important, until your church and pastor become a political liability, then you throw them under the bus.
Racial slanders are definately bad, but you can call women sweetie because they are inferior beings.
Hanging out with former terrorists is okay and having one-on-one meetings with terrorist leaders and dictators is okay, but Jimmy Carter talking to terrorists is bad.
Tell everyone you are against free-trade, but be sure to whisper to Canadian leaders that it is just what you need to say during the campaign to get elected.
Pledge to accept federal campaign money and follow the rules to hold back on spending, but if you have more money than you opponent, forget the pledge and blow them out of the water with advertising. Complain about soft money and then accept help from the AFL-CIO and Move-On.org with anti-McCain advertising.
Finally, call for change in the vaguest sense so no one can say you did not honor you campaign promises.
Even though they are jokingly told, this seems to be the Republican platform to me. why deny it. You should embrace it. Unless you believe the opposite.
Do you work for MSM news outlet... you've got the same type of thinking.
Please tell us about this conviction. Seriously, I've never heard of it. Back it up with something.
(happy dance)
Amazing how they don't dispute what you say other.
You need a new test.
A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.
A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish.
Yeah - from a bowl of cherries. One lie after another.
Republican party people know the truth. The paper today had a story on a platform fight for the Republican party convention. I hope the party purists get their but kicked.
A single party in power is bad, always.
Pardon our mess, but we are remodeling to serve you better.
I doubt if the Republican Party will do any remodeling. They like themselves the way they are.
Great article