Why False Conservatives Can't Recognize Real Conservatives

I am not going to mince words on this subject so--unlike my other posts--this may get a little messy:  I am a real conservative who believes in family values, taking care of the environment, keeping our liberal noses out of other's business, and financial responsibility.  What I have noticed from the political talkies on the "right," here at gather.com isn't a pretty picture.  They believe in an Administration and Congress that has in the past 6 years spent more money than GOD, put thousands of American lives in perdition; with standing armies in the Gulf--standing between Iraqis fighting—guess?—yeah, other Iraqis.  And all of this while the politicians of these faux-conservatives have committed the greatest blasphemies against American free enterprise; i.e. allowing companies like Halliburton-KBR and Bechtel exclusively loot the American tax-payers in exchange for blatant incompetence in Iraq; turning a blind eye to the CEOs and “creative accountants” stealing American wages while the congressman and senators vote themselves yet another raise in pay, and all the while leaving American workers in the dirt.   There is a code word for this kind of treachery—it's called stupidity.  

Then we get to listen to these same faux-conservatives talking about public opinion polls as if they are meaningless.  Well, one group of people (called Republican Conservatives ) thought they could “ignore” the public—*ahem*---I mean the polls.  They were so high on themselves prior to the election on Nov. 7^th, that their breakfast consisted of their own egos.  Apparently they picked up the sea shell and listened to the ocean just in time for a tsunami wave to crash their picnic.  Now I have a message for those who backed the losers:  you know that ocean sound?  Yeah, "it’s the people, stupid;" so put down the damn sea shell and get to work!

I have said these things and these faux-conservatives call me a “liberal,” or “commie” (or whatever term they can drudge from the bottom of their sophomoric background) as if abstract political philosophy had anything to do with common sense.   Well, I will not apologize for my belief in fiscal responsibility (balancing the budget), port security, affordable health care, and limited military intervention; these issues aren't based upon the POLITICAL IDEOLOGY of politically challenged dumkopfs!  Its based upon COMMON SENSE.  Did you hear me?  (put on your fake spectacles and throw that plastic turkey into the trash if you have to!).

In doing so they show their very lack of conviction (common disease among liberals) to engineer an argument that makes sense. 

War in Iraq? 

They say "Stay the chaos”--*ahem*--I mean “the course.”

Corporate scandal and profiteering? 

They say, “who cares, what about God, gays, abortion, guns and flag burning?” 

Affordable health care? 

“Pfft!  Everyone’s dies." 

Or you hear “if you have enough money, you can afford it,” otherwise you get “well, if we take care of everyone, then the government will get all fat and bloated”—“limited government!!”--they all scream, while consolidating all power to one head; and while they put in new shiny curtains and chandeliers and create another branch of bureaucrats to teach the American people how do defend themselves using “duct tape.”  Ridiculous—I’ve heard enough from these fake-conservatives.  

 Economy?

 Yeah, if you count the Dow Jones Index as a measure of economic progress.  Or better yet--if you count shipping jobs overseas (or importing cheap labor) as economic progress for America.  You see, these people have a problem with their "bath tub trickle-down" theory--the water seems to be leaking (i.e. trickle-trickle) into China and India. 

Now they talk about the “Global War on Terrorism”—yes, lets talk about terrorism.  Here’s where the fake-conservatives tune out and begin foaming at the mouth—be careful as I name-drop some familiars.   If you start spouting this stuff, they’ll grit their teeth (or tooth) at you start spitting venom like a cobra:

“No Regrets” Brzezinski (bless you) and Carter supporting the Mujahideen in Afghanistan—yeah, you’d expect this kind of nonsense from a liberal!

Reagan and his endorsement of the “freedom fighters” in Iran.  Two cheers for Wilsonian Internationalis—hey, isn’t that a LIBERAL DOGMA?  

Remember the Iran-Contra Affair—yeah, something about selling weapons to Iran in order to give weapons to Contras in Latin America?  

(Psst! Contras, by the way, were terrorists--or er...freedom fighters--whichever side you're on!)  

Remember Hussein and our “friendship” ties—the turning of the cheek (both really) when he—*pause*---gassed the Kurds on Reagan’s watch (Oopsies!).

 All of this of course while America was “waging a war against drugs”—or on drugs—whichever is the case.  Actually, the record reads as “War on Drugs”—how fascinating.  Those aren’t my words.  They are the words of faux-conservatives trying to wage war against the Soviets—through the “War on Drugs.”  Drugs, Soviets, Latin Americans, Terrorists, Selling Weapons to Iraq, Iran, Nicaragua, OPEC—what’s next you liberal fear mongers?  Asteroids? Aliens? (Hahaha…)

And then came the first Gulf War when Osama bin Laden offered to fight against that “apostate” Hussein.  Yeah, he was turned down by the Saudis.  Sure they are smart enough to stay away from “freedom fighters”—unlike Carter, Reagan, etc.  Saudis are evidently smart enough NOT TO GIVE WEAPONS TO OSAMA in order to get rid of Saddam?  Saddam was also smart—he didn’t want Osama’s help and there’s plenty of LIBERAL PROPAGANDA to state this (you know, sometimes these liberals get it right!)

Liberal Propaganda Link (LPL): http://www.cato.org/pub_display.php?pub_id=3017

So who gets holding the bag-o-tricks in the Mid-East?  Yeah, no one wants to be the bad guy bombing everyone else—so the Iranians sat on their asses while our troops drove Saddam’s (Hurrah for the Persians--ding dong the bastard's dead!) army out of Kuwait.  But wait!  There’s more!

The United States, especially Secretary of State James Baker, assembled a coalition of forces to join it in opposing Iraq, consisting of forces from 34 countries: Afghanistan, Argentina, Australia, Bahrain, Bangladesh, Canada, Czechoslovakia, Denmark, Egypt, France, Germany, Greece, Hungary, Honduras, Italy, Kuwait, Morocco, The Netherlands, New Zealand, Niger, Norway, Oman, Pakistan, Poland, Portugal, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Senegal, South Korea, Spain, Syria, Turkey.  Source: Wikipedia  

And, of course of which 74% were U.S. forces.   So—c’mon people—who else but a LIBERAL would give weapons to Saddam, give weapons to the Iranians, remove the enemy of the Iranians (Saddam) and then forget the high-explosive weapons locked in a U.N. storage bunker facility in Iraq (visible from space satellite for God’s sake!) while trying to bring “freedom” to the Iraqi people?  And now we realize that the real enemy—the “Axis of Evil” member state, Iran.  Did I forget something?  Oh!  I’m sure of it!  You know how these LIBERALS really confabulate things so much you forget what’s really going on.  

Any takers?  Any real conservatives want to take the credit for this wacko-jacko-job we call the Mid-East?  Lets hear them!  I am waiting.

*chirp* . . . *chirp* . . . *chirp* . . . *chirp* . . .

  So now we're back in business--*ahem*--in Iraq--trying this LIBERAL "nation-building" program again.  Aren't Americans getting sick of these LIBERALS telling the rest of the world how to live?  We have the horrors of 9-11 and these LIBERALS reliving the day as if it never ended?  Aren't we going to get the people responsible for this attack, instead of spending days and nights fighting in an Iraqi civil WAR?  

 Well, so much for fake conservatism--time to move on and get things set straight.  

God Bless America.  We have a new breed of conservatives taking the scepter away from these liberals and handing integrity, responsibility, and honor back to the American people.   God bless our troops in Iraq: they're doing the best they can under the circumstances.  God bless our Nation, its Constitution, and the American Tradition of Democracy.