Quotes From Khyron 20

Weasels
Dilbert: I used to think I might like some people I hadn't met. But now I think they're weasels too.
Dogbert: How about a wide-eyed and innocent child who loves you unconditionally?
Dilbert: Tiny weasels.
- A Dilbert comic strip by Scott Adams reprinted in the collection, Words You Don't Want To Hear during Your Annual Performance Review

People are weasels.
-Scott Adams, Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel

Witchcraft, Witches, Witching, etc
A witch never has matching crockery.
-Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

You were there, you had the hat, you did the job. That was a basic rule of witchery: It's up to you.
-Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

Young women should not go alone on dark nights, even in Oxfordshire. But any prowling maniac would have had more than his work cut out if he had accosted Anathema Device. She was a witch, after all. And precisley because she was a witch, and therefore sensible, she put little faith in protective amulets ands spells; she saved it all for a foot-long bread knife which she kept in her belt.
-Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, Good Omens

Words
When ideas fail, words come in handy.
-Goethe

I think we've outgrown the word gripe. When everyone has automatic weapons, a word like gripe is sort of irrelevant.
-George Carlin, Brain Droppings

There should be some things we don't name, just so we can sit around all day and wonder what they are.
-George Carlin, Brain Droppings

Work
Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart give yourself to it.
-Buddha

Working-class people "look for work." Middle-class people "try to get a job." Upper-middle-class people "seek employment."
-George Carlin, Brain Droppings

We're all amateurs; it's just that some of us are more professional about it than others.
-George Carlin, Brain Droppings

And it all meant this: that there are hardly an excesses of the most crazed psychopath that cannot be easily duplicated by a normal, kindly family man who just comes in to work every day and has a job to do.
-Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

I'd rather staple a skunk to my forehead and go to a tradeshow for banjo makers. And yet, it's still better than working, so count me in.
-Carol, the secretary, in a Dilbert comic strip by Scott Adams reprinted in the collection, When Body Language Goes Bad

The World
The world is a madhouse, so it's only right that it is patrolled by armed idiots.
-Brendan Behan

The world is our school for spiritual discovery.
-Paul Brunton

We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.
-Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle

You have the vanity to believe you live in two worlds, but that is only your vanity. There is but one single world for us. We are men, and must follow the world of men contentedly.
-Don Juan, The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge by Carlos Castenada

He's got the whole world in his hands.
-Traditional, "He's Got The Whole World in His Hands"

He's got the whole world in his pants.
-Mondegren of above lyric in He's Got The Whole World in His Pants And More Misheard Lyrics by Gavin Edwards