Why Marriage Rights Are Important: Even for us "Always a Bridesmaid" Singles

 By: Sylvia Rhue, Director of Religious Affairs

I have spent the last 6 years of my life working furiously for the right of same gender loving people to get legally married. I was the California Freedom to Marry Coalition Manager, I work on marriage rights in my current position at the National Black Justice Coalition. I write about it and debate about it. I will continue to work for these basic rights until we get them...even though I will probably never have the opportunity to marry.

Why would someone who will most likely only catch the bouquet work so hard for others happiness? Because equal rights are sacred and important. Because other people's happiness falls on me like sunshine and warms me too. Because marriage is one way we tell the world that we count as humans, we are included in the law, we are considered in the Constitution. We matter. Our lives matter. Our lovers and families matter.

Bridesmaids and groomsmen are still part of the party. It's a community event. It's a public declaration that has weight. Those who got married in California 4 years ago talked about how it changed their lives. They had no idea how profoundly getting married, legally, would affect them. So those of us who may not find the perfect match, still get to clink a glass and give a toast and eat the cake. We are part of the substance of the celebration.

So here's a toast to California and to all who are blessed by the smile of a lover. To paraphrase Evan Wolfson, the light of California will shine on the world so much that the even bouquet catchers will feel connected and inspired. And hopeful. 

Sylvia Rhue, Director of Religious Affairs

National Black Justice Coalition