"Dear Advocate, I'm Sorry" An open letter to GLBT people

I read this in the current issue of The Advocate. (It's tough to link to, but I think THIS  might work, at least until the next issue comes out.) It is an open letter from a straight man to the gay community apologizing for his previous anti-gay marriage stance. He recounts how he worked to support President Bush when he was talking about a Constitutional definition of marriage passed, and how he voted for Missouri's protection of marriage act. His views on this issue have changed, what sparked this transformation? Love.

He writes:

"A lot has changed in my life since then. Mainly, I met and fell in love with a girl I met online. I believe that in every person’s life there is a person that helps change the way he or she looks at life. In my case, she is that person. Until we met I didn’t know what it was like to love somebody or to be loved. Now that I know (and it’s such a great feeling), I want to be with her for as long as possible. If I was told that I wasn’t allowed to be with her, for any reason, I would be devastated."

It was a powerful letter to read, clearly sincere and a strong testament to the power of love and the ability to put oneself in another's shoes. It's a lesson we could all learn.

It reminded me of another article, a few months back (January 30, 2007 issue), about gay marriage in the (very Catholic) Spain. The reporting, by Chris Rovzar, was also insightful. He sees two trends that led to support of gay marriage by Spanish citizens: the former allegiance of the Catholic chruch with Franco (bad move in the long run), and (surprisingly) the strong importance of family values in Spain. Kids live at home longer, spend more time with family, go to church more, get married later, and get divorced at about 1/3 the rate of couples in the US. Understanding the links between this and the general population's support for gay marriage was a revelation. He writes:

"It took me a while to really grasp this, but it is precisely because family is so important to the Spanish that they do accept gays getting married. 'If your mom is conservative and you are gay, you are her son,' says Emilio de Benito, a writer for El País, the country’s left-leaning newspaper. 'That’s the most important thing.' 

"Of course! If you love your family and you think the institution of marriage is important, you should want everyone to be able to marry. But as an American, I have been trained so that every time someone says 'family values,' I hear 'antigay.' Relearning that the two don’t have to go hand in hand—and that family values could indeed be gay-affirmative—was at once liberating and extremely painful."

These two articles when placed next to each (and along with the Larry Kramer editorial I recently wrote about) beg the question as to whether conservative, anti-gay individuals truly understand the concepts of love and family in a deep and profound way, or if they are simply using this terms as political ammunition. If you truly believed in the positive power of love, shouldn't everyone be able to express it? If you truly believe in the fundamental nature of family, shouldn't eveyone be able to have one (legally)? Wouldn't these things, so important to society, do more good for people, the more widely they are spread?