…this time in Denver. Paul Barnes, the pastor of a mega-church in Denver, resigned Sunday in a video-taped statement, saying he was gay and has repeatedly had sex with men. "I have struggled with homosexuality since I was a 5 year old boy. I can’t tell you the number of nights I cried myself to sleep, begging god to take this away."
Interestingly, a month ago his sermon, in the wake of the Haggard scandal was on Integrity and Sin. Some quote from that, show, in retrospect, a man struggling:
"You know I’ve honestly wondered over the last number of years, what causes more damage to a society: the 2 to 3 percent of people in a society who are gay or the 50 percent of people in society who have been married and divorced and remarried and the kids, the poor kids are experiencing all the ramifications that all that garbage involves."
and
"Most of us, if the truth were known, we wear masks," Barnes said. "... Sometimes, we wear masks because we want to be, to appear more perfect than we are. But the reality of it is, all of us are so very imperfect."
In the Denver Post, several articles have run about this including one on Gay Evangelicals across the country. Many have found support through websites such as gaychristian.net, whose founder is profiled in one of the articles. When asked about the people that have contacted him through that site he said: “There is the 65-year-old minister who is a married father and gay. There are the teenagers considering suicide because they have been taught that gays are an abomination. There are those who have tried the evangelical "ex-gay" therapies and never became straight.”
Another article claims there is little hope for any kind of reconciliation in the future for gay evangelicals. While some leaders have come out (no pun intended) against the more violent and misleading forms of homophobia found on Christian Radio:
Campolo said that many evangelicals, influenced by Christian radio, had come to believe that homosexuality was largely a choice and that homosexuals "choose to be evil." Others, he said, subscribe to theories, now discredited by psychologists, that men become gay because they had a domineering mother or were victims of sexual abuse as children. "People on Christian radio have portrayed gays as insatiable, promiscuous people, which they are not," Campolo said, "and they describe gay people as fungus on society that must be exterminated."
The author also claims that most evangelicals are not willing to budge on the core issue that homosexual sex is wrong. One evangelical that is trying to outreach to the gay community is Jay Bakker (Son of Jim and Tammy Fae), who is documenting his struggle to keep his underground church for the young and disaffected, Revolution, afloat on the Sundance Channel. It lost a large portion of its funding after Jay revealed he had a message from God that gays and lesbians should be welcomed in his church unconditionally.
Interesting times. I feel for the pastor, how difficult it must be to live a lie so publicly. And I have hope for folks like the young Bakker, that he will be able to change the hearts and minds of his folks.
recommend this
email
print
link to this page
Comments: 24
To be fair to the "Nuke a gay whale for Christ" crowd, though, this is happening in many other fundamentalist denominations - just look at the Jewish and Muslim furor over the gay parade in Jerusalem. They were actually making up songs about killing homosexuals and posting signs encouraging people to throw Molotov cocktails at the paraders.
When people have no morals or ethics, you get prostitution, child porn, human slavery and domination, etc. People don't care what they do, and do it openly.
When people take it to the opposite extreme (as in fundamental religious sects), they make even natural tendencies abhorrant, like adult sex, whether homo- or heterosexual, and contraception.
When our true, natural tendencies get twisted around and labeled as "evil", then they often get channeled into something that IS evil, and come out in perverted ways, like child porn and sexual abuse of children (since they are often the most easily manipulated to keep the secret). Even if they don't, it still must be hell to have to live your whole life as a lie, with a "mask" as the minister so aptly described it.
..
A very insightful observation. Thanks!
You can't seriously think that all the Catholic priests that have sexually abused children would have turned out as pedophiles if living a normal, sexual life in society. Just as most inmates in prison would opt for sex with another man if given the choice between that and a woman. I sincerely doubt it.
"The Gay Christian Network is a nonprofit ministry serving Christians who happen to be lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender. We also work with pastors, family members, and others who want to understand the issues from a Christ-centered perspective." from the site gaychristian.net
You should look at their site, it is interesting the multitude of issues that they try to address. They have voices represetned fromteh whole spectrum of ideas. Even ones that think they are dead (and going to burn in hell) wrong.
There are churches that welcome gays, like the Universalists. They have had openly gay ministers for quite a while now.
I appreciate the message of tolerance and empathy in your comments, Sheryl, with which I agree. However, I wonder what evidence you have for this statement:
"When our natural tendencies are repressed (like forced celebacy [sic] for Catholic priests) they get twisted and come out in very unnatural ways."
I think you may be ignoring a several issues: that priests are a subset of those who seek the priesthood; i.e., they are self-selected; the overwhelming majority of priests are NOT pedophiles; and finally, some understanding has evolved about conditions that lead to pedophilia (being a victim of child molestation is often a factor).
My evidence is purely observational - don't know if any studies have been done. I didn't mean to imply that it was based on anything but personal experience.
Also, I didn't mean to imply that all priests are pedophiles, or that the subset of priests who have molested children would not have become pedophiles outside the priesthood (for the very reason you bring up - some probably do have circumstances such as early victimhood to account for their behavior). I'm simply saying that when you put people into environments that run counter to their very basic nature (as Liz points out), their resulting behavior could take a deviant course. Sorry if I wasn't clear on that.
Although the article was about homosexuals, because you've introduced the issue of forced celibacy of priests, I'd like to augment your observations with some additional information, ok? This is an excerpt from an article on the American Psychological Association website:
--------------
Understanding why clergy, specifically priests, abuse minors is a complex task. "There are a lot of myths and misperceptions right now," says Bill Mochon, PsyD, a Los Angeles psychologist who facilitates group sessions for priests. Thomas Plante, PhD, [editor of "Bless Me Father for I Have Sinned: Perspectives on Sexual Abuse Committed by Roman Catholic Priests"... and professor and chair of psychology at Santa Clara University] agrees, noting that some of the media hype leads people to blame celibacy. "If someone can't have sex for whatever reason, they aren't necessarily going to make children the object of their desire," Plante says.
He adds that another myth is that the problems are somehow related to homosexuality. "We know that sexual orientation doesn't predict sex crimes against minors. That doesn't quite hold water," he says.
There are recognizable risk factors, though. Clergy who abuse minors were typically abused themselves. Many have poor social skills and poor impulse control. And, say experts, many sex-offender clergy have co-morbid disorders. "A lot have major affective disorders, personality disorders or substance abuse problems," says Plante.
-------------------
http://www.apa.org/monitor/jun02/church.html
When I referred to Liz's comments, I was referring to her point about homosexuality being a natural part of being a human being (sexuality). Again, I'm not saying that ALL priests who molest children do it because of forces celibacy (the quote you cite uses the word "necessarily").
I'm just saying that the entire environment is one of unnaturalness due to many components (celibacy, isolation, etc.). I was a church music director for 30 years and got close to a number of clergy - many of them were very, very lonely people who drank pretty heavily and would often times "cry into their beer" with me. Maybe it's more of a chain reaction - celibacy breeds isolation and loneliness, which breeds a desire to get close to anyone, even if it's a minor, in some cases. I've known of quite a few Catholic priests who had affairs with adult women in their parishes.
I'm neither Catholic nor homosexual nor pedophiliac (nor any more celibate than absolutely necessary). However, I agree with the sense of the article that much is lost unnecessarily when capable and contributing members of society are demonized for their sexual orientation.
I really don't muster anything like empathy for pedophiles. I've cried into plenty of beers but haven't had the slightest inclination to attack a minor. Those who read the full article for which I provided the link above saw a bit more context in the discussion of priest sex offenders (here's a bit more).
--------------
Research on sex offenses in the Catholic Church has shown, however, that around 80 percent of priests who have abused minors are ephebophiles, who target post-pubescent adolescent boys. "We're dealing with something that is in another category besides pedophilia," says Donna Markham, PhD, president of Southdown Institute in Ontario, a treatment center that provides inpatient and outpatient care for church professionals. "Some real distinctions need to be made here," she adds....
Good article. "Changing hearts and minds." Equality laws and having the courage to be--and it does take lots of courage and plain old guts to stand up and speak out and be ourselves in all aspects of our lives. As Sheryl point out, however, the reality is that we also have to look over our shoulder sometimes while we do that in order to be safe and continue the process.
Amazing
Mr. Show - Good News
Hugs...........Sam
FUN GAY STUFF.COM