Sometimes I feel like I am the only one in the world with this problem. I pretty much stay at home all day with the children. I have a part time job, but I only work a few hours so we can opposite our schedules and not put our children in day care. I have a hard time with the children. I get so stressed out, and I feel like I am a bad parent because some days I just need a break and let the oldest watch TV all day. I feel like I do not have enough energy to get down on the floor and play and teach all day. I have so many things to do around the home.
I have two little girls, one who is three years old, and the other is 10 months old. The little one is getting old enough where she can play a little with the oldest, but not a lot yet. I am trying to keep our home in an orderly fashion, make bottles, feed the rest of the family, clean, and make a living all at the same time. My life is so chaotic. I enjoy being busy, but sometimes it is overwhelming. I feel like I do not get a lot of support from my husband. He will do some things around the home when I ask him, but I don't feel like I should ask all the time, he should step up to the plate. But I hate asking because I know in the back of his head he is thinking that I am home all day, why didn't I do it then?
Sometimes I cannot wait for the girls to be in school, so I have a few hours of peace in which I can get things accomplished, and work more hours at my job to get out of the house and make more money. Finances are always a stress at my home, which makes everything worse.
Does anybody feel the way I do? Anybody have any suggestions for me and my family?
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Comments: 25
You really need some time for yourself.
You need a break, hon....just because the hubby is at work all day, he's not dealing with screaming kids...let him watch 'em for a few hours, a few nights per week so you can go have a drink with a pal, or otherwise talk to a grownup.
Good Luck....Iam so glad I have grandkids...they get cranky, and I can just give em back...
Remember there is nothing wrong with feeling the way you do. Taking a break would be good even if it's just for a walk. Just tell your husband you need to go away for a couple of minutes and really be back in about 30 minutes. Even if you go to the library or the store. Anything if you can do it alone. It's nice to take a breather. If you can't get away then take a longer shower next time or see if you guys can take the kids to the park so that you can just get out of the house.
Also breath. Take time to breath and slow down every once in a while.
God blessed you with the two children you have because he knew you could do it. Don't take that for granted. You are doing the best you can with what you got.
Hope I said something that made you feel a little bit better.
First, Have you tried talking to your husband? I used to think that mine would be thinking that I was home all day so I should be doing the housework. But then I talked to him. He Honestly didn't think there was a problem. He didn't see the house as being dirty and he didn't realize that I was stressing out about the work. After I explained what was wrong for me, he was happy to help me work out a plan.
Second, decide what's really important to you. You just can't do it all. Maybe you only get the bathroom mopped once a month, but you do get the dishes done every day. Make a list of what you think NEEDS to be done. Make a time chart of what has to happen in your life for a week and then see what you can change. Yes, life happens and you won't always be able to stick to your schedule but it will help you accept your limits.
Do you live in area where it is cold and snowy. If so this too could be zapping your energy.
I feel bad too for wishing my children older and more independent so I can have the time to myself. I am now a divorced mother of two and the youngest is in preschool two afternoons a week but even that doesn't help cuz it's only an hour and a half a day with drive time included so you can't do much. He has one more year of preschool and then will be in kindergarten and I will probably enroll him in all day kindergarten as my oldest did well in that.
Maybe if you hung a "honey do" list on your refrigerator your husband would get with the program.
Second: Write down your dinners for the week, and post it in your kitchen. On the refrigerator, wherever. It was the BEST stress buster I ever tried (and I got the advice here on Gather!). No more "what's for dinner?" asked 50 times a day. I also don't have to think about what's for dinner, because it's written down for me! And since I make the weekly dinner schedule when I go grocery shopping, I KNOW all the ingredients are there - no last minute rush rush trips to the grocery store! It's been GODSEND.
It does get better.
I know exactly what you mean. You don't have to have a spotless house. I used to go through that. Just do what you absolutely have to do, and I know they don't like to help when the kids are small. But, you can ask him. I agree with Sandy-take a bubble bath. Make sure you take a radio or CD player so that you can drown out any issues. Don't feel like you are the only one though. I definately understand.