by Leah Christensen
Member since:
May 30, 2006

Say What?

March 18, 2009 09:37 PM EDT
views: 126 | rating: 9.6/10 (21 votes) | comments: 43

I read the following quote in my Newsweek today, and I damn near spit out my coffee, and fell out of my chair.

If we give the money to the widows, they will spend it unwisely because they are uneducated, and they don't know about budgeting. But if we find her a husband, there will be a person in charge of her and her children for the rest of their lives.

--Mazin al-Shihan, director of a city agency in Baghdad that plans to pay men to marry Iraq's war widows.

Is it just me, or is the above statement extremely disturbing?

 

 

 

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Comments: 43

Kathy D. Mar 18, 2009, 9:40pm EDT
No, it's not just you....
Mooch -. Mar 18, 2009, 9:41pm EDT
AAIIEEEEE
Teresa A. Mar 18, 2009, 9:42pm EDT
What? OMG, they need to get a grip. Yep, very scary.
Desiree T. Mar 18, 2009, 9:42pm EDT
That's horrible!
Chris E. Mar 18, 2009, 9:45pm EDT
No that is how they think there. Their culture is much different then ours.
Alexis Newell Mar 18, 2009, 9:47pm EDT
That's their culture, women are subservient to men in all aspects but especially with money. Thankfully I wasn't born into this culture, I never would have made it.
Karen A. Mar 18, 2009, 9:50pm EDT
eeeeek!
Vikki M. Mar 18, 2009, 9:51pm EDT
Wow. Just wow. I am definitely thankful to not be part of that culture that sees things that way.
Teresa W. Mar 18, 2009, 9:52pm EDT
Ugh, they have such a prehistoric and scary view of women's worth over there.
Leah Christensen Mar 18, 2009, 9:54pm EDT
I've seen this attitude in some radical Christians too. I personally know of a few couples where the woman is not allowed to leave the house without the man's permission, because he is in charge. These are people I know personally.

I know of other couples where biblical submission seems to work for them, and the women have a lot of freedom, but there are men in EVERY RELIGION who abuse the power they think they have over women.
Krystal Harwell Mar 18, 2009, 9:56pm EDT
Tell that to my mom who had to raise ME by herself after my daddy died in 1996. And to let him know before that, my mom STILL did all the money situations because she's the one that was always able to work! lets throw some bras at him... lol.
Leah Christensen Mar 18, 2009, 10:00pm EDT
I was semi-dating a man from Iraq, before I met Walker. I say "semi" because it didn't get serious, but we weren't just a couple of people meeting for coffee either. We had some interesting political discussions, and although he wasn't the radical feminist that I am, he seemed to agree that such views on gender roles.
donna h. Mar 18, 2009, 10:02pm EDT
Unbelievable
Leah Christensen Mar 18, 2009, 10:05pm EDT
Krystal. Yeah, I'm all for throwing bras at him.

As for finances, I totally BITCH-MANAGE the money in this marriage!!!! Go ahead, ask my husband! :-) We have separate accounts, but we still consult eachother on money, and I tend to have the last word on the budget, since it comes more naturally to me.

And that's OK!!! You can also ask my husband how useful I am in the kitchen, and he'll tell you that I'm as useful in the kitchen as tits on a boar hog.

People's abilities need to be based on them personally, not on stupid things like gender roles.
Robin"Buffy's Stunt Double" D. Mar 18, 2009, 10:05pm EDT
They would have exiled me from the country
Jan S. Mar 18, 2009, 10:11pm EDT
No one should print this without providing a barf basin!
Leah Christensen Mar 18, 2009, 10:15pm EDT
Me too Robin, and probably in a pine box, if I was lucky. Thank GOD I live HERE!!!

Jan, I agree about the barf basin. Sadly that wonderful cup of coffee almost came right back up, because of this crap.
Krystal Harwell Mar 18, 2009, 10:28pm EDT
I posted this after I saw it and gave you the posting credit, lol. I dont see why they teach the women budgeting?? hello???
Carol B Mar 18, 2009, 10:29pm EDT
Very disturbing.
tammie p. Mar 18, 2009, 10:30pm EDT
on my!!!
Lynn R. Mar 18, 2009, 10:39pm EDT
Just one more reason I'm glad I live where I live.
Carla B. Mar 18, 2009, 10:41pm EDT
It's disturbing that there are cultures that still see that as the norm.

I'm the one in this marriage that takes care of the finances, too. And guess what? If you want to be technical about it, it's my husband's money since he works while I stay home with our child. We view marriage as a partnership, though, and we each do what needs to be done. My husband can cook and clean, and I can shovel and mow.
Samantha C. Mar 18, 2009, 10:46pm EDT
eek!
Leah Christensen Mar 18, 2009, 10:46pm EDT
I used to hear that "it's my money" thing all the time when I was growing up. Drove me up the friggen walls.
Gary (aka: William Pinn) J. Mar 18, 2009, 10:52pm EDT
Yowza! Definitely a different culture.
eric m. Mar 18, 2009, 10:54pm EDT
wow
Marianne R. Mar 18, 2009, 11:07pm EDT
That's a terrible comment
Dorine H. Mar 18, 2009, 11:08pm EDT
I puke!
Janice B. Mar 18, 2009, 11:55pm EDT
You have to consider the culture. It's not America. It's an Arab nation. Their values are not our values.
fancy c. Mar 19, 2009, 12:17am EDT
WOW
Leah Christensen Mar 19, 2009, 1:20am EDT
A different culture is one thing, but women's lives are at risk because of men's crap!!!!!!

I second what Dorine did.
Walker Bennett, SF Author Mar 19, 2009, 6:45am EDT
So it's against Sharia law to educate women under penalty of death. That's so that men will have control of all the money, besides control of the women.
Svetlana Goryacheva Mar 19, 2009, 6:52am EDT
What?????? Where is my shoe? I'd give this ... ... ... (an untranslatable Russian folklore) a piece or two of my mind!!!!

Love and hugs - S.
Ali Hussein Lopez Mar 19, 2009, 9:04am EDT
It's their country and their culture.

We shouldn't be involved over there anyway.
Svetlana Goryacheva Mar 19, 2009, 9:18am EDT
I basically agree with Erik, but "culture" is definitely NOT an excuse for abuse of any kind. A little glimpse from my own country's past: the so-called "Domostroi" (a kind of house code) written back in XVI century enjoined husbands not just to control every step of their wives and daughters, but actually to beat them (!) for the slightest disobedience. So what?... Would any decent person in 21st century defend this kind of ... (an untranslatable Russian folklore again) simply because it's the part of our national culture?????

Blessings and best wishes - S.
Ali Hussein Lopez Mar 19, 2009, 9:38am EDT
Svetlana:

I don't agree with it, but it's time we recognize that every culture does not have, or want, our values, and that we can't impose our values on them at the point of a gun.

There are things I vehemently disagree with all over the world. I don't agree that the leader of a world religion should go to a continent rife with a deadly sexually transmitted disease and tell them not to use condoms. I don't believe in FMG. I don't believe in Shariah law. But we're not going to change any of those things by killing the people involved. You can't destroy an ideology with bombs.
Svetlana Goryacheva Mar 19, 2009, 9:54am EDT
I'm on your side here, Erik... I vehemently disagree with the same things you described above. It's our own voice and our own positive example, not bombs, that could stop the abuse of any sort, in any country, whatever.

Blessings and best wishes - S.
lynn a. Mar 19, 2009, 10:59am EDT
This just makes me glad I'm in America, although, women can be squashed here also. But at least here, if she doesn't want to be, there are ways to get out of a situation that imprisons her.
sandy sandy Mar 19, 2009, 2:56pm EDT
That's awful.
Yes America has many things wrong with it but I say it's still the best country to live in.
Renita P. Mar 20, 2009, 11:10pm EDT
Extremely disturbing from our way of life. Cultural differences sure can make others way of life seem odd.
Pam Eccles Mar 21, 2009, 5:27am EDT
I've worked with women in the past who are under total control of their husbands.....it's sad that cultures are like this.......
~*~Danyale~*~ N. Mar 21, 2009, 3:42pm EDT
wow definatly disturbing... and why were u flagged very childish

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