Locked Up

Well today Gather I feel better. I know that I am not the only chick in the world that has a boyfriend that gets locked up. He is alive well and will be facing alot of time. I just hope he knows that I am going to move on with my life. I have my whole life ahead of me. His charges all carry at least 20 years give or take. I was devastated Friday but I am o.k. I just want to know which steps to take and it's going to hurt because it's just me and him living in a apartment. I will have some lonely days. And no I don't want to get involved into another relationship quickly. But I have to tell him soon that it's over. I am quite sure he knows. But I will stick around and see how much time they give him. Then we have to say our goodbye's. I am so uneasy about the situation. I thought we would last . I am forced to go back out and meet new people and date again. I probably date a long time just because I don't want to rush into anything. You live and you learn. I want all who can help and give advice which direction do I fall in now. I mean I still am job-hunting a little stressed but job-hunting. I want to get back into the swing of hanging with my friends but have no car. Pretty much I have to be alone at home now. Yeah I hope at least I can find a job and get a car. Where do I go from here?

Comments: 8

Cheryl W. Dec 11, 2006, 10:53am EST

I'm so sorry this has happened to you, but you know what? It is much better to find out about this person now rather than down the road when you are married or something. My advice to you would be to focus on you now. Focus on school and finding a good job. Look for a good used car and start saving up for it. And you can still have a social life without a car, even if you have to invite people over. And if your friends are true friends, they won't mind giving you a ride so you all can go out to dinner or something. You need to nurture yourself now, and wait awhile before you get into another relationship. Take time to grieve this one first. I wish you the best and I will keep you in my prayers.

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Larry H. Dec 11, 2006, 11:14am EST

There is a group called Freecycle, people give thing they no longer want or need. I sure there must be one in your area. http://www.freecycle.org/display.php?region=US%20Southern#Virginia. people give away all kinds of stuff, furniture, clothes, dishs, some have even given away cars, excercise stuff. About anything you could want, and you can do the same give away what you no longer need. Give it a try can't beat free. We've gotten microwaves for a couple of our kids.. Good luck in finding a job too.

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Jody Says Dec 11, 2006, 11:48am EST

You go up from here, I am sad for you, but sometimes it takes a traumatic event to kickstart our lives, run with this and never look back.

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Carol Roach Dec 11, 2006, 2:23pm EST

I am so sorry to hear about it but why do you need to date already? You need to get your life on track and be independent and settled, and get over the hurt which takes time.

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Fran S. Dec 11, 2006, 2:30pm EST

I really agree with Carol R on this one Virginia... get your life back together, find a place to live that you can afford on your own, become independent, find that job that's out there waiting for you and learn to manage life and its expenses on your own.... you will probably find someone to share your life with before too long, but don't be in any hurry. Life happens.

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Angie O. Dec 11, 2006, 7:08pm EST

I agree with Carol also. Your career or education must come before getting back into dating. Who knows, you could even meet someone along this road but take time, get over the old relationship before starting a new one. And, you have definitely made the right decision about the old one. Good luck.

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Michele Scercy Dec 12, 2006, 4:16pm EST

Cheryl's advice is great, and I agree with her. Also, I commend you on your statement that you don't want to rush into dating again. That is great self advice. You need to come first. You need to do what you have to do to get your life in order. Sometimes, doing things you need to do are painful, but in the long run it is totally worth it.

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Roxy K. Dec 12, 2006, 4:47pm EST

I'd call your friends, let them know what's going on...if nothing else, you'll get more advice and people near to talk to. You never know what can happen(my friend GAVE me a minivan--her old one). I know what it's like, having been 2 and becoming one again. Just hang in there, you'll be fine :)

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Comments: 8

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