by BRIDGET M.
Member since:
January 18, 2006

winter comes

November 30, 2006 09:51 PM EST
views: 19 | comments: 9

Inspired by the recent insights into haiku and kept awake by the winds hurtling around the house  I have had a go - what do you guys think?

 

Winter storm rages

Oblivious men slumber

Branches hit the ground

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Comments: 9

julian 'blighted karma' three Nov 30, 2006, 10:35pm EST
OK - who are you kidding? This is not a first effort, you must have been writing haiku for a long time! You not only composed an excellent haiku but captured something of the spirit of haiku, IMHO, crafting a multi-level scenario with few sparse yet crisp words, as a sumi-e painter makes only a few short brush strokes yet leaves a captivating image for the beholder. And working on not only the first, obvious level of a real situation / scene in winter but also by implication, speaking to the apathy of those who refuse to see the things surrounding them which should be changed, actions which should be taken for the good of all - even as heavy laden branches crash so close to them. A Zen student might say that this is a call to awaken.
Well done.
Connie C. Dec 1, 2006, 3:57am EST
This is great
Bridget, harken to the words of Julian - he is someone on Gather who really knows what he is talking about.

All I can add is: superbly done! You are gifted. Now burn the midnight oil to produce more gems like this one. Ten stars from me, my friend.
BRIDGET M. Dec 1, 2006, 9:05am EST
wow
I am humbled by these words of praise and encouragement by those I most admire, I did spend time on this and it felt like there was depth to it
thank you
amanda wallin Dec 2, 2006, 4:11pm EST
It is hard to top Julian but this is breathtaking. I could feel the bluster of the storm and the power in your words is astounding!
BRIDGET M. Dec 4, 2006, 4:33pm EST
Amy - thank you, your work is an inspiration.
BRIDGET M. Dec 4, 2006, 4:47pm EST
thank you for stopping by amanda your approval and encouragement are very gratefully received
BRIDGET M. Dec 4, 2006, 4:52pm EST
I have never attempted anything like this before and this is the result of a night spent listening to and feeling the storm outside, and it moved me and became part of me . when I wrote this I felt I had got it right but then looking at the 10 words I wondered if anyone could really get all that much from it

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