by Wendy S.
Member since:
August 22, 2006

Fifty Word Fiction: Mortal Wounds

October 10, 2006 02:00 AM EDT
views: 38 | comments: 19

Comments/criticism welcome

 

 

Taking a deep breath, she carefully began to discuss the details of the divorce with him. Afterward, she got up to refill her wine. She glanced away briefly as she poured, spilling some. She watched the red liquid surround the bottom of her glass…the spilled blood of their dying marriage.

link to this page
Bookmark this post:
Facebook
Twitter
Delicious
Buzz
More

Comments: 19

Heather B. Oct 10, 2006, 2:04am EDT
That IS deep. Amazing how much expression can fit in a wine glass.... or 50 words :0)
Wendy S. Oct 10, 2006, 2:12am EDT
Thanks, Heather, Jacob. Fellow gatherite David Rochester inspired me to try my hand at 50 word fiction - his pieces are marvelous.
Heather B. Oct 10, 2006, 2:33am EDT
yes, I've been reading them but haven't had the guts to try one yet. Kudos to you, Wendy! You must have had your chocolate today!
Wendy S. Oct 10, 2006, 2:45am EDT
Give it a try, Heather - people are kind here, for the most part. And the ones who aren't are easily ignored.
No chocolate for me tonight. I consumed the last of the Valrhona last night.
I think the piece came out so intensely because I just lived it about an hour ago.....
Heather B. Oct 10, 2006, 2:55am EDT
Oh Wendy, I'm so sorry. It's amazing how your words sounded so heartfelt and real. No wonder. A big hug to you through space and I blow a kiss from San Francisco. Send me a private msg if you need to chat.
L. A. gould Oct 10, 2006, 8:26am EDT
You put the rest of us to shame. This is siimilar to haiku in that you have to put so much meaning into a few words, but it is so much more interesting than haiku, so much more powerful. Is writing your job? Have you written a book?
Tonia, who hugs trees G. Oct 10, 2006, 8:47am EDT
Wendy - The imagery in this is powerful, and you have done a superb job of conveying so much with only a few words. The use of "carefully" in the first line painted the entire picture for me - hurt, confusion, resignation all held in check in order to keep things civil. Very moving and well written.
Wendy S. Oct 10, 2006, 11:43am EDT
Thank you , everyone! Writing is not my job, but is my passion. No books or articles published (yet), unless you count the feature article here. On Gather I have found within myself more courage to share my writings....and, hey, you guys make it easy.
David Rochester Oct 10, 2006, 1:42pm EDT
It's a very powerful metaphor, and I extend my sympathies that the power came from its being true. Bless your heart, Wendy.
Cena W. Oct 10, 2006, 2:17pm EDT
A bloody fine fifty words!
♯ ♪ Oct 10, 2006, 3:31pm EDT
Very nicely done!
Synchronicity W. Oct 10, 2006, 5:17pm EDT
that does it! i need to try this too! you did a great job with this. this reminds me of the six word novel of hemingway. what was it? for sale. baby shoes. never used. was that it?
Wendy S. Oct 10, 2006, 7:29pm EDT
Wow, thanks for all the compliments/comments, everyone. I have the warm fuzzies from just knowing you all read this piece, much less liked it.
Thanks for your kind words, David. Painful times offer needed lessons as well as contrast for the good times....and maybe even inspiration for some excellent writing along the way!
Visionaerie B. Oct 10, 2006, 8:57pm EDT
Very nice imagery! The bitter taste of a love gone awry -- maybe some vintner should come up with a "parting" wine like that. Keep up those pithy writes!
amanda wallin Oct 11, 2006, 12:38am EDT
Love the succint bitter aftertaste this left in my mouth. I only found one awkward word - "carefully" in this piece. Otherwise you nailed the sentiment and captured the scene wonderfully. I must try one of these.
Jay H. Oct 11, 2006, 12:40am EDT
good read
Wendy S. Oct 11, 2006, 1:15am EDT
Point taken, Amanda. I can see some awkwardness, if only because "carefully" is a rather uninteresting and general word. So...getting more specific, how about "warily"? Thanks for the feedback! And please do join the fifty word party...it matches my current attention span marvelously.

Join the Conversation
Chime in! Become a Gather member to comment.
Already a member? Sign in
top
 
Gather | Friends | Groups | Share
About Gather | Engagement Marketing | Make New Friends | Gather Points | Advertise on Gather | Gather Press | Privacy | Terms of Service | Community Guidelines
Books | Celebs | Entertainment | Family | Food | Health | Moms | Money | News | Politics | Spirituality | Sports | Travel | Writing
Version 16961, "Pacino"; Copyright © 2009 Gather Inc. All rights reserved.