I came across a blog listing called “Avanoo” the other day that caught my eye. The particular title that day was “Why The Internet Turns People Into ‘Part-time’ Sociopaths” . (This 3 month old blog writes with the title “Meditations on Meaning,” and I’ve read several of them over the weekend. You might like some of their writings. )
This particular article spoke to me about our situation here at Gather, more than any explanation people have been able to offer. I have tried hard to stay out of the hubbub at gather.com I have really curtailed my activity here because of the situation, and have even written an occasional comment trying to shed some light on our incivility to each other. I have been horrified by such comments as “This is the internet, &*#$^**, get used to it” . My explanation has centered on the fact that it is similar to the road rage phenomenon which surfaced 20 years ago, that of not having to look the people we are saying things to in the eye. We can’t see the hurt. We are unable to empathize.
But along comes Dan and calls it what it is. Sociopathic behaviour! Plain and simple. I can’t say it as well as this blog does. Dan is eloquent and says just what I’ve been trying to put into words. He gives a perfect example of a friend who could very well be leaving comments on Gather.com.
This article goes on to say this behaviour may continue on the web for a while more, and our sociopath participants will have their day in the sun for a while more but that there is hope that the net will be self-correcting and it will no longer be in the interest of people to be rude, uncivil, mean, and downright sociopathic. I encourage you to check out this statement and see if you don’t think he’s put the finger on our problems and that there’s hope.
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Comments: 36
After awhile, I started to notice that certain people do this, and most others don't. Generally, the people who are the worst, have a vague profile and no photo of themselves posted. For obvious reasons! I have learned to just ignore these people and not even bother trying to reason or respond.
Thanks for the link.
Vicky, that's an interesting analogy of the CB's. My husband, who is into ham radio, is so polite on the radio and there were standards. If you violated the code, you could lose your license. So it seems that so many people cannot use self control either on the cb radio and now the internet. One wonders if, for all our rhetoric about being in self control, it we ever can be. We complain about more laws and more interference, yet we as a species, generally seem to be bent on finding a better way to get away with things. I'm thinking for instance of every security system for internet and banking seems to get broken within a short time.
Something is more deeply wrong than we suspect. It truly is latent sociopathy. Scary.
I have written about this phenomenon...both articles and numerous comments. You may have seen some of them. Here is a link to an article I wrote on the subject.
I have developed a strategy for dealing with aggressively rude people who disrupt my comment threads. I send them a private message, suggesting that our mutual insults and slurs are disrupting dialogue on Gather, and I propose that if they will stay out of my threads, I will stay out of theirs. So far it has worked.
However, I am not as optimistic as you are that this situation will eventually resolve itself. Your analogy to road rage, another situation involving the "depersonalization" of others due to an inability to see the other's face or hear their voice, is quite valid. As you noted, the road rage phenomenon was identified quite some time ago, and I have not seen it lessen even the tiniest bit in the last 20 years. In fact, I believe it is getting worse.
I'm all for the ignore feature, especially since the entertainment for that type of person is your reaction. If you don't have one, they get bored and move along.
As Carol points out, behavior might change if there were repercussions - i.e. they sat all alone in the empty playground of their articles and comments, with nobody to form a kickball team.
Hi, Auntie!
Hey, now I can Gather in the Bathroom! Wheeee!
Congrats on the laptop, Auntie dear, and I hope your holidays were delightful. Did you get finished on the beaded projects? There were a bunch of sales you were trying for, and I hope you had plenty of inventory for all of them without feeling like it wasn't fun anymore. I think I'd rather do beading projects just for the fun of it.
(We are obviously not doing a good job displaying sociopathic behavior, but somehow I think we can make Carol smile, which is much better -- even if we can't see it!)
The thing is, folks, that if you ever do meet one, you will never know it. They don't give a damn about anything but their own games and advancement, true, but they win and advance by fitting in so well that you never know you have been scammed at all. They are very very good and usual very admired in their communities. Usually.
There are always exceptions, and some cannot hold the facade for long... but most can. This behavior you talk about here is not that of a sociopath.
However my understanding of the way the writer of this blog intended the word sociopath, was that of common understanding of that word in the world, not the specific scientific diagnosis. The intention is a generalization of no empathy toward anyone. I think the use of such a word in our language is somewhat common, though I can't call to mind any at the moment. Thanks for commenting and keeping us honest!
great article hon
You made some good points, Carol, and I appreciate your letting us know about the article.