I think I've made references a couple of times to our 5 year old. Here is the deal.
My husband and I have a 20 year old (his-doesn't live with us), a 15 year old and a 16 year old. We now also have a 5 year old. We thought about it. I mean our kids are at the age where we can go to eat if we want, have a night out, you know, we can kind of kick around without worrying about a babysitter.
A family member has had some issues and wasn't able to take care of her children. My husband and I decided to give a 5 year old little girl a stable, crazy yet normal life with us. I am still confused. Not about having her, she is fun if not a bit trying since I am not use to one that little any more. But I love her. She calls me moma, my husband daddy. I was told by a dr that this is okay because she is looking for normal and a home, somewhere to fit in. Or something like that - he said it was okay, she does it and it doesn't bother us. My confusion: do I call her my daughter? Do you think that is what she wants? Would that be too much like I am forcing something on her?
I have lots of questions, lots of concerns. I can only take it one day at a time. If I voice here, maybe it will help me. Some things I am scared to say out loud..? So If I post some random crazy thing about this whole situation, it will be because I am trying to sort this all out in my head.
For now, I know that she has plenty to eat, the lights are on, we are not beating her with sticks and she doesn't have to "sneak out the window to get away from daddy".
She is too funny in that she has already picked up a lot of our mannerisms and sayings that we use. Her sister is here staying the week with us and she has called me and my husband moma and daddy a couple of times. Little Girl looks at her and says "That's not your moma and daddy. That's my moma and daddy." Then she looks at me and says "But it'll be okay won't it moma?"
**A brief note: yes - her sister. She also has a brother. Yes, it is a shame that they cannot all be together and I assure you that we all tried to figure something out but none of us who were willing to take the kids were financially able to take all of them. We do make sure they get together on a regular basis and we let them call each other any time they want to. **
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Comments: 13
As for the question "should I call her daughter".... I think you should call her what you feel comfortable with. If your heart says it's ok and you would feel fine doing it then go for it. Personally I think she would love it and you are the closest thing she's had to a real family.
I do think you can call her something special and introduce her as such. Whatever feels good to you. I'm thinking along the lines of calling her something like 'princess" or "pumpkin" or whatever is special to the both of you. You can say something like, "and this is my little pumpkin" or "let me introduce you to my little princess"....something like that.
What do you feel like calling her? Yes, I appreciate that you are trying (and succeeding) in doing something very special for this child, however, you need to do what feels good for you...to you. Take care of your feelings, too.
We have talked about how special she is bc she has two mommas.
We have been calling her Little Girl. That sounds weird I suppose but we say it like a term of endearment. :) This question has come to my mind because she has ask me several times - I'm your daughter aren't I? You have 3 daughters and 1 son, right?
My husband has worried about the attachment part much more than I have. (I'm such a girl what with my heart and all) But now that we have the papers signed, I think we are both much more at ease. You have to understand that the mother cannot even come to the same state we live in because she has outstanding warrants across the state. I have been told she is going to try to go to a shelter in her current state as soon as her boyfriend goes to prison.
Blessings to you for saving this child.
Also, I have five year old twins - I'd be happy to clue you in on what you may have forgotten about the wonderful, awesome age of five!
I am just glad that you are giving a stable home to the one. It is a shame they are not all together, but it is more important that the kids have stability.