Ramen and Peanut Butter

I would ask them where the food is for the lunch on the next day you are there. I wouldn't go to the cupboard or pantry first, I would just bring it up early in the conversation. "Oh, what are they having for lunch today?"

Yeah, I could be coy with that.  I just hate confrontation or anything that's negative.  I'm a wimp that way, but I'll do it for the kids.

He he, just be blonde LOL and said, "Oh, where is the food for their lunch today?" tee hee

I am good at that.  :)

Yeah, they totally need an advocate Carrie!  I would ask them and you could always offer to do some grocery shopping for them (if they supply the money).  If it is a TIME issue, I totally understand not having time, but they at least need to supply you with the money to then buy them food.  I bet they eat a lot of "take out" as a family and not many people eat at home especially if they can afford to eat out.  But, yeah... they get an "F" for proper nutrition for sure!  Heck, Peanut Butter and Jelly for lunch isn't that hard to provide and not all that expensive and most kids love it.  Maybe the parents are just overwhelmed... I know I am as a mom of three and would love some compassion!  So, come from a compassionate place offering to help and I bet the mom will eat it up!

Thanks.  I forget that sometimes.... my mom had the five of us (and my brother was autistic).  Everything was always perfect.  But, my mom was probably exhausted secretly!

I will go at with compassion and feel if offering to pick up groceries would help.

Ya know Carrie, my mom seemed to have everything "perfect" as well.  But, now that I am a mom and I have asked her about things (because I feel like an absolute frazzled mom most days) she says there were days she just went into her bedroom and cried.  Then, she's pick herself up, dust herself off and get back to the task at hand. 

I think as kids we are OBLIVIOUS to the hard work our moms put in and oftentimes to their states of mind while doing it.  The main difference between me and my mom?  My emotions are completely out in the open!  Yesterday my kids were especially difficult and at one point I just started crying.  Not out of a guilt trip, or anything like that, but just out of sheer exhaustion and frustration.  My five year old felt bad and apologized and we were able to have a great conversation about being helpful to mommy and not creating messes and not picking on your siblings, etc...  I WISH I had seen more of that in my own mom because then I wouldn't have this FALSE sense of "my mom was perfect and I'm a huge failure as a mom" thing playing in my head all day!  Motherhood has absolutely rocked my world and made me question things about myself that I NEVER would have though I'd EVER question... 

anyway, I bet that mom would love some help!

Wow.  Maybe I will have to try that with my four year old.  B/C of my mom; I chose to stop at one kid: not have five like her.  I always felt that she didn't have enough time for herself.  I remembered before the other kids were born how active she was in the Air Force wive's club and team sports.  Then it all went away and she became a member of the PTA, home room mom, Girl Scout Troop Leader with the shiny house and well behaved and well groomed kids.

I on the other hand, wanted an education, a good teaching career (will go back to that when katie is in school full time) and stay active in the community.  I think it's hard when you have lots of kids.

y'know what, Heidi?

my mom was like that, too.

the problem: i noticed. -it messed me up; couldn't articulate anything worthwhile as solace.

i was a stay-at-home parent for a couple of years myself, and have the utmost respect for every tear she cried (not that i was ever any different...but an insider's viewpoint is priceless in any equation, eh?)...

I would leave a note at the end of each day. Then they'll get use to it if you have an issue.  For example, the note could read: .. Your kids were wonderful today. we did this and this.... for lunch we ate the last of the bread for their peanut and butter sandwich.  You will need to buy more lunch type foods.  Please let me know some suggestions of what they like to eat and if you have the ingredients, I can make it for them.  I hope you had a great day... I'll see you on X day.  

That way, if there is an incident or accident.. you can let them know also.   ie.  joey fell down, we cleaned it and put a bandaid on it.  the cut wasn't too big.  

I hope this helps.  You are a good person to be helping them out...

Notes may be my way of dealing with confrontation.  :)  It's easier to my ideas on paper.  thanks!

I agree..   that way.. if you're rushing out of the house to get to your home... you won't say... oh I forgot to tell her about this or that...

I agree with the note, as it informs the parents about their children's day and you can find out where is the food also.  It sounds like they eat out a lot and may not even know what food is in the house.

Yeah, they must... Which is so bad for them.  :(

"What do you want me to feed them today.?"

"Anything--you decide."

Check what's there before they leave and tell them.

True, true.

Oh dear, I hope they pay you. 

I would ask them what they want you to prepare and to show you where it is.

They must know you need to know this to take care of their kids.  Very strange.

Good luck dear.

Yes, the pay me a little... I've been with them now for a 1 1/2.  I'm fed up bringing in extra stuff to eat.  I haven't helped the situation by doing so; but I don't like confrontation and the kids are my first priority.

I was thinking what Margieanne just commented.  I hope they pay you.  Poor kids, I hate to hear about parents who don't take care of their children.  For goodness sake ask about the food.  It's important to the children.  They get just as hungry as anybody else.  Ask.

They trust in my judgment 100% for everything; but sometimes I think they are just being lazy and don't care that much.  I dunno.

...or they're thoughtless.

either way? -a recipe for Disaster...and that's a meal kids shouldn't have to partake of.

I fell terribly sorry for these poor kids because their parents are such clueless idiots (and probably cheapskates, to boot).

Thank God they have someone like you.

Hey, thank you!!!!  Cheapskates on everything but the soda and beer in their home!!!

Probably "Safeway Select" and Bud light.  ;o)

yes, thank god they have you :)

I use to babysit for a couple like that. They had two kids and never any food in the house. I was pregnant at the time. So, food was a must. I personally would not leave a note. If they are to busy to go food shopping, chances are they won't even read the note. Also something like that should be brought up face to face. Sometimes confrontations are needed. Like in this case. Just be nice and considerate when mentioning it. Don't become defensive. They could be the type of family that eats out also or really don't know about proper nutrition. I am sure if they are working long hours they are overwhelmed.

improper nutrition is probably more like.  The mom is pregnant again... I know I had a lot of carbs and fruit in my house when I was with Katie.

I would make a list of acceptable, nutritious and inexpensive foods and tell the parents that they need to provide those foods.  They don't pay you well enough to supply the food.

Thanks for posting to Fugitives from Ignorance, Conformity, and Peer Pressure

It sounds like they're probably busy and don't think about it.  Offer to go shopping for them and see what they say!  of course make sure they give you money for shopping!

Thank you everybody for the comments!  I did talk to the mom today.  It went better than I could have hoped.  I have a grocery budget to work with just for the kids.  :)  It's on a pre-paid Visa so I can pick up what I think they need to eat while under my care.  She said they eat out a lot too.

Wow Carrie!  Thank God for this great news!!

I personally wouldn't have had such a nice comment otherwise.  I don't think there is any excuse for there not being any food in their house for their children.  Here in Texas, they would take those children away until the Child Welfare Authorities found out what the heck what going on.  I'm certainly glad nothing that drastic had to happen.

Hugs and blessings to you!!

AWESOME.

I think it's great you got things worked out.  They will probably be impressed that you care enough to feed the kids home cooked meals.

Good deal, and you did a good thing for those kids too ::)

Ahhh, the old Hebrew dilemma:  Make bricks without mortar.

Are there any pets in the household?  If so, barbecue one and mama might get the message.

ah: Chinese.

Sounds like you're a great nanny though!

geez! that's really sad... 10

glad you could fix the problem! :)