Alright, so at times I'm a little unorthodox -- how many people do you know that would decide on the spur of the moment to visit Russia in the middle of winter?
Many of you are also aware that Leah Christensen (<a href="http://danishcanadian.gather.com">danishcanadian.gather.com</a>) has come to Sedona to visit for a few weeks...spur of the moment.
A lot of you also know that my middle daughter, Ashleigh, was in a near-fatal automobile accident 40 minutes after I arrived home from Russia.
Well...
This morning Leah and I were preparing to go out for breakfast before heading up to the hospital for Ashleigh and the telephone rang. It was Ashleigh's mother (my second ex that I haven't spoken to in 20 years). The three of us (I put her on speaker phone so Leah could hear) talked for about an hour and I promised to give them updates on Ashleigh's condition.
I hung up, but 5 minutes later the phone rang again...this time my third ex (Ash spent a little over a year with us when she was a teenager...and I haven't really spoken with her in 3 years). She was going to be in Flagstaff in a couple of hours (she's an over-the-road truck driver), could I take her to the hospital to see Ashleigh? ... OooKay...
Leah and I did manager to grab breakfast and headed up the mountain to Flagstaff (28 miles). Oak Creek Canyon is an exceptionally scenic road...and treacherous with only 2 lanes and many 180 degree turns and 1,000 feet down to the floor. I got behind a tourist from California that insisted on traveling 15 miles an hour the entire way. A 30 minute trip took over an hour.
I was also exceptionally leery of something confrontational because I neglected to tell #3 that I was bringing Leah...
I drive a small Toyota pickup. Neither Leah nor #3 will ever wear "petite" again...but the three of us squeezed into a bench seat designed for two. Despite my trepidation at being in the presence of a woman I'd hoped never to darken my door again, when she got in the truck, it was like two long-lost friends were riding with me.
We got to the hospital. I was flabbergasted!
She was alert, awake, recognized me at the door and recognized Leah's voice (they've never met, but have talked on the phone for over a year). She can't speak because of a tracheostomy (which frustrates her), but can communicate with gestures or mouthing words.
The doctors and nurses are amazed at her recovery. She's not out of the woods, but is improving daily. There are still several medical problems to be overcome, but everyone is very optimistic.
You're right, the prayers help tremendously. The doctors still call her the miracle girl because, without a miracle, she should have died at the scene.
There are people all over the world praying for her, from a Russian Orthodox in Moscow, to an Episcopal in Australia, to a Presbyterian in Canada, to the monastery of the Dalai Lama in India -- as well as many in the U.S.
They're telling me that medicine can only do so much, what they're observing in Ashleigh's recovery is coming from somewhere else.
When we left the hospital, #3 volunteered to buy us lunch before hitting the road again. Go figure? Everything went well today and was totally weird and unexpected. The closest thing to a snide comment was "you're raiding the romper set now..."
What's normal? I haven't a clue because it's never happened to me.
To give you an inkling of the strangeness, look at the following images:
Leah and #3 ex-wife. Picture taken by me.
Leah and I; picture by ex-#3
Leah and I; picture taken by unknown tourist in Sedona. My house is to Leah's left.
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Comments: 28
As for #3 ex-wife, you know that her personality type is a trait of the Allans. I am pre-disposed to those traits myself, but rather than "using" them, I go undercover. You said so yourself, that I have struck a perfect balance between Christensen and Allan. #3 is a great lady, but you two are two different. It would be like mixing smoked salmon with chocolate, they're good on their own, but not mixed together.
Thank you for putting this in writing. The next time my mother tells me I'm not diplomatic, I'll show this to her.
She tends to run from this kind of thing (your abnormal life) whereas I look for situations like this, and jump in with both feet.
If I didn't truly love you, I would not be able to keep my balance.
From the next room you informed me that I wrote "two different" when I should have said "too different."
I know the copy-editor in you saw that as a mistake, but I saw it as a pun I made subconciously.
I've been here only a few days, but I've turned into a pun-damentalist, thanks to you.
As for Ashleigh, I'm praying for her daily and light a candle for her speedy recovery every time I go to the church. I hope the day will come soon when you give her a big, warm hug on my behalf! :-)
Blessings - Sveta
Sounds like terrific news from the hospital, I'm so glad to hear it. Chin up my friend, the power of prayer is working as you mentioned.
Take care.
I just spoke again with Ashleigh's mother (ex-wife #2). She's also going to join Gather (she's very talented).
As I said before, it's like chocolate, smoked salmon and cheese sauce. They're all good, maybe in the same meal (different courses) but not on the same plate.
Good for you for being so diplomatic, and I look forward to meeting #2, if only on line.
Now all we need to do is to locate #1! ;-)
Coming soon to a soap opera near you...
The plot is really going to thicken when my mother finds out the REAL reason why I'm down here! Yes I came down here because you're a "close friend," and because I care about Ashleigh, but there's still one thing WE haven't told her! Do you think she's figured it out yet?
I'm so thrilled that tears are forming! I'm really glad you joined here. I told Ashleigh last week that it's a shame it took a tragedy to bring everybody back together civilly. All 5 kids were in the same room at the same time for the first time in over 20 years. Now I'm on good grounds with two former wives.
It really doesn't get much better, despite the speed bumps along the way.
Walker just walked into the bedroom, looked at me, and said very slowly "my girlfriend and my ex-wives...." then he lit another cigarette and very slowly walked back to the computer room. Now we're just sitting around waiting for #1 to contact us. ;-)
I told Walker, as we were driving yesterday, that one of the things I love about him is that he is not bitter about "past imprefections." That is to say, marriages may not have gone as planned, but ties were not severed. You've already read my analogy about smoked salmon and cheese saurce, or however I phrased it.
Thank you so much for the good wishes for Walker and I. That means a lot to both of us, and we know you sincerely meant it.
We both agree that experience is something you gain AFTER you need it. I would not be someone's first wife for all the money in the world. OK it's a bit of a fluke that there are two more after that, but after meeting you and #3, I feel that our collective sense of humour takes care of things quite well.
I'm so happy that Ashleigh was able to contact you. I don't blame you for crying If anyone has any problem with that contact, they will have to get past ALL OF US first!!!
After all of the bitterness in my own family surrounding the various divorces, it is a PLEASURE to meet a man with such nice ex-wives. ;-) God has a warped and wonderful sense of humour. This has all happened to me for a reason. The next time someone in my family complains about a former spouce I plan to LAUGH!!!
I still cringe when I hear "Hit The Road Jack" (my aunt's ex-husband) and "So Long Marianne " (my mother, and she spells it that way too) and hear their mocking laughter. My family needs to grow up!! I'm very happy to discover the mature attitudes and humour I experienced as a member of Walker's harem. *grin*
Here's hoping the fourth time's a charm ;-)
It was a pleasure to read your comment, and thanks to you and your husband for your kind wishes. As long as I am here Walker and I will continue to visit Ashleigh together. I will return home on the 22nd, but will try and return as often as possible. I am definitely drawn to this area. It's a beautiful area, but the main attraction is sitting in the next room clearing out his in-box. ;-)
Thanks again for joining Gather.
-Leah
Is this your warped way of telling me I mistyped, or something? LOL Well I'm sorry if I seem distracted, but you do have that effect on me!! ;-) How am I supposed to remember how to speak proper English when every time I sit down to check my e-mail, you come in here and start nibbling on my ear? ;-)
Don't ever stop, I love you.
Love
Leah
I know. Actually, I've watched milder soap operas. It's difficult for me to believe this would ever have happened, but in the context of an emergency with a child, it has.
In the past two weeks I have friends and allies among two former wives with the probable next wife (Leah enlists friends wherever she goes). All five of my children have occupied the same room together for the first time in over 20 years.
There are time when I'm convinced that God has a totally warped sense of humor and this current problem was designed to bring all of us together at once.
Thank you so much. Walker and I discussed the situation over dinner, and now he is in his office composing an e-mail to one of the brothers (you can guess which one RE the other one!!), as I sit here reading comments and whatever hits my in-box, especially regarding THIS particular situation.
When I thought of Ashleigh and others and some of the people they knew, I realized that meeting in person was no real guarentee of stability. What Walker and I had was COMMUNICATION. Now that we are here together that has multiplied by 1,000,000%. If we had it apart, imagine what we have together.
I decided a long time ago to throw convention out the window.
Most people would say "if I can't trust a man I met in person how could I trust one I met on line?"
Rationalization!
I say this.
"I have met many I can't trust in person, but many I can. There are idiots on line, but there are also good people out there."
I can assure you that I did A HECK OF A LOT OF RESEARCH, planning, thinking and praying before I jumped into this situation. Now that I am here, I know I did the right thing. I'm so glad I did. Again, there is a communication between us that would have only been clouded by physical presence. By that I don't necessarily mean a physical relationship, I mean what goes through the heads of people who take physical presence for granted. All we had was communication, and we had to learn fast. IT WORKED!!
As for Walker, you're right about him being so special I know it, you know it, and we all know that were this not the case, I woudln't have gotten on that plane.
As for Ashleigh, if this terrible accident was meant to happen, it's truly a gift from God that it happened in this part of Arizona where she has trusted family. Let the others do what they will, if we all stick together, we'll handle them.
Thank you so much for contacting me.
You are so sweet!!! And thanks for bringing me my dinner "in bed" (where I have the laptop set up). That was so sweet.
"Next?" Here's hoping you mean "final." tehehe I know I don't need to tell YOU that 1, 2, and 3 all had their reasons for coming into your life when they did, and now 2 and 3 have come back to help. I feel much more secure in our future knowing that some lessons have already been learned. We all discussed the fact that some people have to learn by doing, others just learn from example. You and I seem to fit together well.
Oddly enough, the song on my computer is "The Internationale", the first Russian song you sent me that night in Dad's basement.
Can you believe that this all started because one night at my father's house I had way too much wine, and decided that I needed to get away from the Rod Stewart CD he was forcing me to listen to? God Bless 'em all, even those who drive us crazy, because in getting the heck away from them we may stumble upon something wonderful.
As for #'s 2 and 3, for whatever reason they have come back into our lives as friends, right when we needed them. It's a shame that Ashleigh is in the condition she's in, but I know that is only temporary. She is going to come back stronger than ever. Sure her body may function differently, but her mind will strengthen in a way that would never have happened with abilities that are taken for granted by most. Afterall, is it not because of my own visual and physical challenges that I think the way I think? It's a shame it had to happen this way, but with all of us together the outcome will be truly spectacular.
Maryann (#2) thanks for joining Gather. We love your sense of humour, and your screenname brought a smile to our faces.
Great to see you back on Gather. As for a glimpse of Walker's life, I only physically entered it four days ago, and already I see a best-selling something-or-other (novel? Soap opera? Country song? Movie?) in the making. ;-) This is one roller coaster I don't mind riding.
I would love to hear those Logan stories one day. Better put the book on tape, because I've heard your voice, and there's no doubt you know how to tell a good story.
Walker and I definitely suggest that you self-publish the book; no rejection letters that way. Then again, who could ever reject such a great story? Yah, everyone gets a few rejection letters from idiotic editors/publishers.... skip those and self publish!!!
Our family table is going to be something to experience. We will have to invite my Dad over to dinner atleast once, so we can rub his nose in the fact that I get along so well with my ex-wife-in-law. tehehehe That's going to be FUNNY!!!
Hey, I've always said I get my diplomatic side from my mother, and my give 'em hell attitude from my father. The combination has worked well for me so far.
I'll pop back in later. In the meantime, I have to put clothes on, since I'm going out in a few minutes to surprise Walker at his office! LOL That will definitely be interesting!!! ;-)
Yeah, dear Walker, that's what I see... but it seems that for a full-blown soap opera we're still lacking one - and a very important - character. :-)
It is SO wonderful to hear about Ashleigh's improvement - prayer works, and this is everything that really matters. I'm sending her my love and prayers daily, and will continue to do so. As for step-, ex- etc., since I can't be a mom, anyway, the only thing I hope in the very depth of my soul is to become a step-mom for one wonderful little girl... both you and Leah know her name, I suppose. :-) This would be a privilege beyond everything else!
Warm regards and blessings from Moscow - S.
Walker and I both know who the little girl is you're referring to. I certainly hope that osme day Chris helps make your wishes come true, so that you can be his little girl's step-mother.