A Dog's Rules for Christmas

Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They may appear to be more stressed-out than usual, and they will appreciate long comforting dog leans.
They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not assume that all the gifts are yours.
Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They seem to get some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how you look with fake antlers.
They may bring a large tree into the house, set it up in a prominent place, and cover it with lights and decorations. Bizarre as this may seem to you, it is an important ritual for your humans, so there are some things you need to know:
a. Don't pee on the tree.
b. Don't drink water from the container that holds the tree.
c. Mind your tail when you are near the tree.
d. Don't rip open packages under the tree, even ones that smell interesting.
e. Don't chew on the cord that runs from the funny-looking hole in the wall to the tree.
Your humans may occasionally invite strangers to come visit during this season. These parties can be lots of fun, but they also call for some discretion on your part:
a. Not all strangers appreciate kisses and leans.
b. Don't eat off the buffet table.
c. Be subtle when begging for goodies.
d. Be pleasant, even if unknowing strangers sit on your sofa.
e. Don't drink from glasses that are left within your reach.
Likewise, your humans may take you visiting. Here your manners will also be important:
a. Observe all the rules in #4 for trees that may be in other people's houses (4a is particularly important).
b. Respect the territory of other animals that may live in the house.
c. Tolerate children.
d. Turn on your charm big time.
A big man with a white beard and a very loud laugh may emerge from your fireplace in the middle of the night. DO NOT BITE HIM!

Comments: 11

Clare Stella Dec 10, 2006, 3:32pm EST

This is so cute! I can see it as a children's Christmas book with appropriate pictures.

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annette p. Dec 10, 2006, 3:37pm EST

that is one of a kind and great idea only if the dog will follow them all.

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**AngelEyez** a. Dec 10, 2006, 3:48pm EST

#3 is my bad lol.. I love it ,, I stick all the bows as I unwrap on my dogs head,, I have 2 labs but they dont seem to mind,, and one thing for sure I am proud they have never once botherd the tree or presants they are very good about it,, unless we stick thier presant there it will be eaten before I know it hahahaha

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Stephanie, proud Maw-Maw to my 2 granddaughters, G Dec 10, 2006, 9:52pm EST

great list of rules for all dogs and thier owners...my dog no longer cares about a Christmas tree, as long as it doesn't invade the space of her bed.

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~JOY ~bringing it 2 every1 she knows ;-) H. Dec 10, 2006, 10:06pm EST

These are cute. My favorite is:

They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not assume that all the gifts are yours.

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Felix R. Dec 10, 2006, 11:40pm EST

Clare, my daughter e-mailed this to me...I didn't write it and there was no name on it. I just found it amusing and decided to share it with the people on Gather.

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Felix R. Dec 10, 2006, 11:41pm EST

Yeah, Anita...and a big 'IF' it is.

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Felix R. Dec 10, 2006, 11:41pm EST

Lol, Merrin!

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Felix R. Dec 10, 2006, 11:44pm EST

My dogs the same, Stephanie...she ignores the tree preferring to hang around the kitchen.

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Felix R. Dec 10, 2006, 11:45pm EST

I like that one also, Joy.

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Chris H. Dec 11, 2006, 8:24pm EST

Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They may appear to be more stressed-out than usual, and they will appreciate long comforting dog leans.
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damn funny

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A Dog's Rules for Christmas

Comments: 11

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