Embarrassing Tales of my Children

My kids absolutely love to hear stories of funny or embarrassing things they have done over the years.  And I usually manage to bring one up about the time one of them starts telling me about something I have done to embarrass them.  Here are a few of the stories we laugh about quite often.

When my oldest son was around two or three, and in the midst of being potty trained, my husband and I took him with us shopping for a new sofa.  While we were in the store, my son told me he had to go potty.  The salesman who was talking with us at the time informed us that there was no restroom available to the public in the store.  Well, we were just about finished with what we were doing, so we knew we would be able to find a restroom in just a few minutes.  But, engrossed as we were with our furniture selection, we failed to mention this to our son.  In the meantime, he was having fun walking around the store and exploring.  After a bit, he came up, tugged on my skirt and said, "Mommy, I went potty"...and he was pointing to a certain area of the store.  Calmly, I let him show me, dread filling me along the way.  And sure enough, he was telling the truth.  He had gone potty right on the floor next to a nice leather sofa.  I looked at him and said, "Why on earth did you potty on the floor?"  He just smiled and said, "Because they don't have a bathroom."  (Couldn't argue with that).  I remember thinking to myself...."of all days for him to get serious about not doing it in his pants."

****************

The next story comes when my daughter was about four.  We were at the local YMCA for swimming lessons.  My daughter was and still is very outspoken.  Anyway, a man was sitting near the pool in a wheelchair.  My daughter walked right up to him, and said, "Mr....why don't you have any legs?"  He just looked at her and said, "Because they got shot off in Vietnam."  And then he gave me a look that made me wish I could just drown in the pool.

***************

My youngest was always the one who knew how to embarrass me the most.  Not only did he do it a lot, he did it on purpose, knowing exactly how to get to me.

One day we were on our way to the store grocery shopping.  He was around three or four at the time.  Taking him to the store was never my favorite thing to do, because he wanted everything, and wasn't always pleasant when I said "no".  So this particular day, I told him beforehand that if he would behave himself in the store, I would let him have a free cookie from the bakery.  He seemed to go for this.  BUT when we got in the store, his behavior was not what I expected.  He would not stay with me.  He was pulling things off of the shelf.  So when we passed the bakery and he asked for his cookie, I said, "NO...you have not been acting very nice.  And I told you you would get a cookie IF you behaved."  Well, I thought it was settled until he dropped himself to the floor, completely laying down.....and started crawling along, as if he barely had the energy to pull himself along.  And as he was crying his eyes out, he began yelling loudly...."Mommy....you NEVER feed me."  Oh my goodness, I wanted to die.  There I was, in front of him....trying to ignore him....which only made it look worse.  And the other shoppers were looking at me as if I was the most neglectful and despicable human being in the world.

************

Another time, my youngest child (the same one as above) and I were in Walmart.  And he didn't want to leave when it was time to go. So after paying for my items, he kept trying to run back into the main area of the store.  I finally scooped him up with one hand, trying to make a quick exit with him....and he started yelling at the top of his lungs...."I want my Mommy!  I want my Mommy!"  Needless to say, people were looking at me as if I was a child abductor....and I kept yelling back..."I am your Mommy!"  (At the time, I was working in the area of Social work with abused and neglected children, so this really got to me.........and I was praying nobody I knew was anywhere around.

**********

These are just a few of the embarrassing tales of my children.  I am happy to report that they have grown up to be wonderful, contributing members of society.  So for all of you parents out there going through similar escapades...there IS hope.