She Runs with Scissors: Gasp! Koff! Gasp! Koff!

SOoOo....

Quick Recap:  In a moment of cerebral flatulence....I believed I could try and run a 1/2 Marathon for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Team in Training.  Not only do I have to go the distance....but I also have to raise $2700.  Currently I am 4% of the way to my fundraising goal.  I want to personally thank my sister, Bonnie C., her MIL, and Steve the Legend for their generous contribution to the cause.  And I want to remind everyone that even if you cannot contribute monetarily.  I take good wishes, good karma and the like.  I would also very much appreciate it if you might mention me in one of your posts.  Perhaps it will help me get the word out and that can only help.  I asked Gather for a corporate sponsorship but unfortunately, they too, have fallen on bad times and have had to let some folks go....so they are unable to help.  BUT maybe...just maybe....I can score a feature to help me get the word out.  (hint, hint)

BACK to our regularly scheduled article......

Today was my first team work out.

I felt so out of place.

First of all....everyone had a regular tshirt to wear.  I don't even OWN a regular tshirt.  I was wearing a tank top.  I am happy to report that in the end....it still served it's purpose.  Plus I am afraid of getting farmer tan....sooooo.

Folks had their good running shoes.  I missed the running shoe clinic where someone watches you run....videotapes it even.  So my $19.99 kicks.....looked really sad and...um.....purple.....next to all the $79 and up tennies. 

But.....I imagine that Rocky started out like this.  I kept thinking of Rocky Balboa pounding sides of beef and thinking.....well.....I am a lot better off.  At least the blood will be on the bloody nubs on my ankles as opposed to sullying my dainty....yet swollen hands.  (Shhhhhh!  Work with me people.)

So the session started with a stretch.  heh.  heh.  heh. 

I dunno how.  And I think there were a couple of others who were intimidated as well.....and mute.  Like myself.  So we 'pose stretched'. In retrospect.....that probably wasn't smart.  But more about this later.

LET's WARM UP!  My coach yelled.

Warming up....that was running 2 laps.

heh....heh. 

I haven't 'warmed up' for quite sometime.  I was dead last.  I blame the $19.99 shoes.  At least that is what I am purporting.  (wink, wink)  Seriously, it was embarassing.  But I did it.  I kept thinking about my Honored Teammate, Ashley.  She has leukemia.  If she can do a treatment.  I can do a lap.  So my first lap was for her.  My second lap was for the fat people.  I am the most.....um....flufftastic member of the team.  It is embarassing.  Although I am sure that people were more concerned with their run and their fitness....I felt bad like they might be thinking about how bad I suck.  Or how dare I even try.  So lap 2.....is for the fat people of which I am one..  Yes....we.....can.

Speaking of being flufftastic....I am also the most breastistically gifted on the team.   What this means is.  I should have worn 2 maybe 3 sports bras instead of one. I could have come to a complete halt and probably bounced the last 4th of the lap for the fat people  kinetics going on under that tank.  THAT is why people wear tshirts.  Yes.  Now I understand.  Farmer's tan vs.  Blackening of the eyes.  Tough choice. 

After the 'warm up'  so called by the fit folk or the 'taste of death' as it was deemed by the less than, we did drills.  We hopped, leg raised, grapevined, and ran backwards.  It was like some very twisted performance of 'A Chorus Line'.  And let me tell you.....I was one singular sensation....though not in the way one might think.

After that was the  alternating 1 minute run, 1 minute walk for 20 minutes.  OR as I re-interpreted it:  The 1 minute run, 1 minute walk, 1 minute run, 1 minute walk, 1 minute jog, 1 minute walk, 1 minute maybe-1-more-minute-of-walk, 1 minute of God-Why-have-you-forsaken-me?!?!, 1 minute of surely I am going to die, 1 minute of stumble, stumble, crawl, crawl, crawl.......

Only this time.....I wasn't last to leave the track at the 20 minute mark.  Pretty much because 1/2 the team was like 3 and a half laps ahead.  But shhhh.   Let me think what I want to believe.  I so wasn't last.  hee.  AND.  I finished.  Fat people rejoice.  That one was for you.  (and me too!)

Afterwards....the coach/torturer (who in truth is VERY NICE and encouraging).....encouraged us to stretch.  And I spoke up.  Uhhhh, I dunno how.  Siiighs from the athletically gifted.  Lessons from the yoga masters.....heh heh....um...yeah.  (I actually love yoga but was feeling much less than coordinated.)

But the coach took pity, and showed us.  He encouraged us to get a partner....and I chose....no hugged....the girl next to me.  I explained.....this fufills my need to stretch as well as my need to hug....which is over shadowed by my need to balance.  My breasts were heavier than I had remembered and I needed a base.  Everybody laughed.....excepted the athletically superior who smirked.

I promised to go to the bra clinic.  Even do make up assignments if necessary.  I told my hugmate/stretch partner/stabilizing buddy.....I can see it now. Y'all will have $150 shoes.....and me.  I will be the one sporting the $150 bra.  I can do that or just tie weights around the straps and throw them over my shoulders so I can run upright.   Just a thought.

SO.  That was my first workout.  I am She who Runs with Scissors.  Pray for me.

OR if you feel horribly for my plight.....

(forgive me, shameless plug)

Feel free to donate to The Leukemia Lymphoma Society and get me past the 4%.

http://pages.teamintraining.org/ctx/rnrsa09/hcastillo

If you cannot donate.....talk about me on your blog....good/bad/ or ugly

OR  just pray.  pray hard.  hee!