New Grad Chronicles ~ Part IV

God sent Elvis to talk to me.

 Well....not me personally.....but the me in the crowd.  It felt intensely personal.

He had told us that some years ago....he was diagnosed with parathyroid cancer.  A particularly deadly type.  You removed the parathyroid and hope for the best.  During that surgery, they paralyzed a portion of his vocal cord.  Not particularly a good outcome for a man who makes his living as an Elvis impersonator. 

I think Elvis impersonators fall into three catagories.  Those that look like him.  Those that sing like him (and wear a good costume).  And those that do both.

This one sings like him and wears a good costume.  So I can imagine that his outcome was a very good one....but less than ideal.

But he gave to God the glory for saving his life.....and here he was before us about to sing us Glory, Glory Hallelujah!

Wow.

Elvis told me.....that a little faith can move mountains.  That in the valley of death.....I could be the sheep.....or learn to be a shepherd.  The shepherdesses have much cuter outfits, by the way. 

I am not bible beater.....but I can see the many lessons within.....and how they apply to my universe...

I think something must be done.....or at least tried.....

I get home.  I call my dear Honey (aka Victoria)  and she basically told me back what I already knew.  I jacked this up and I had to at least TRY to make it right.

And she told me to write......because it is that is what I do. 

And that is what I did.  (And thanked God that I have the bestest friends in the world.) 

I wrote and called Honey and she sent the email (as my internet was down).

Here is what I wrote:

Dear Manager:

I have so many things I want to say to you. First and foremost...apologize. Secondly, I would like to ask you if there are any second chances for me to come work for you at the PCU at the hospital?
I am a person of my word. I gave you my word, and it was out of character for me to go back on my word. I do not expect that you would believe this after what happened Friday.

The thing is, I feel like I have broken my word with you and worse let myself down. O.R. was in fact my pie-in-the-sky dream. It was something that I really wanted to do. BUT more than any field I wanted to participate in...above anything else...whatever I did, I wanted to feel that I had integrity, that I was part of a good team, that I would be a good nurse, and help people feel better.

I have written about this, I have preached about this...that no matter what field of nursing I chose, it would never be as important as the difference I could make in the lives of my patients and my co-workers, above all. At the end of the day, I want to be proud of the job I've done.

Immediately after I called you, I KNEW that I had made the wrong decision because I discovered my dream had changed.

I realized a lot of things when I accepted your offer.

For the first time, in a long time, I was happy because I felt that I was going to have an excellent manager, be part of an excellent unit and an excellent team. And this was a place that I could really belong.

My friends said I was crazy to give up a chance to work in the O.R. and that I should follow my passion.

I realized my true passion was to be a nurse with integrity, to make my children proud, and make me a good example, and to be happy. This led me to the realization that my passion was to work with you in your unit.

I care to be with an excellent nurse manager, an LPN with 13 years of knowledge, a staff that is appreciated for their contributions. I want to be one of the happy people in the pictures.

Most importantly, I want to be the person I know me to be. I am not the kind of person I was yesterday. I am not proud of myself.

If it is in your heart and mind, would you still have me?

I have accepted your offer.

The official offer from the O.R. will not come until Monday. I run the risk of losing both positions, yours and the O.R.'s by sending you this letter. But I hope you will see by sending this letter to you, you will know the depth of my sincerity, despite the risk that I could lose it all.

Sincerely,

Heather

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ to be continued